We Straight Up Murder Thugs in Episode 74!

11/26/2016

"Hey, Gary! I said move things OUT of the way, idiot!"

After threatening several times, we finally begin the Merry Marvel Movie March in episode 74. I suspect this will probably take a while, especially since approximately 1,100 Marvel properties have been spun into movies since I started writing this sentence. But we conduct this public service with a smile because, hey, we're watching fun movies (mostly).

You should go watch an episode of the Captain America serial on YouTube now, and at least give it a chance. Why have a stupid magical shield when you can just waste fools with your handgun??

If you don't follow Paul F. Tompkins on Twitter, your life is hollow. Here's a link to the tweet we reference, to brighten your day. Now you know what insult to hurl at internet trolls when you foolishly engage them.

We Consider a Third Party in Episode 73!

11/7/2016

A candidate you can believe in

A candidate you can believe in

It's the day before the 2016 election, and what better time to introduce a new presidential candidate to you? Episode 73 gives us a look at the policies and personality of Daniel Baker, the leader of the Workers Against Needless Guidelines party! I feel better about the country already!

I was going to supply you with the Internet's finest efforts for phat beats from DJ Trump (DJ DJ Trump?) but it frankly got depressing really fast. So here, this might help instead.

And Adam says you should go see Doctor Strange tonight! Depending on how things go tomorrow, you might not get another chance!

We Off-Road a Bit in Episode 72!

10/27/2016

Sixth-grade Mustache

Sixth-grade Mustache

We seem to be landing bigger and bigger guest stars these days, and we've got our biggest so far in episode 72. Frankie's voice has gotten a lot deeper since I last heard him, but I guess he's all grown up now!

The guy's name is definitely Evan McMullin. Turns out the race in Utah may be more exciting than the country as a whole...

Our very own Alex Clark has a Twitch account, which you can access here. Parental advisory: he uses some swears.

Here's a list of all the 3rd Rock from the Sun episode titles. It's even worse than I imagined.

Episode 71 is Too High Brow!

9/28/16

The Grungiest Nation on Earth

The Grungiest Nation on Earth

We apologize for the short notice on Cruz News, but it only happened an instant before we recorded episode 71. You'll have to wait for episode 72 for the full deets!

Or not! Probably not!

Here's the Stephen Colbert clip that we play in the podcast. He'll be hearing from our lawyer! Of course, I'm sure we'll be hearing from his lawyers for playing that clip without permission. So hopefully this whole legal battle will even out in the end. We're ultimately just hoping for some publicity. Please follow us on Twitter, Stephen!

Like a little politics with your Star Trek? Well here's the anti-Brexit, anti-Donald subtext we talked about in the episode.

And of course, here's a link to our newly founded nation. Will it meet the same fate as Old Bakergobeskiland? With an economy that is best described as "Basket Case", I think we'll know very soon!

New Hosts in Episode 70!

9/18/16

I have NO idea...

I have NO idea...

We mix things up a bit in episode 70, but we think you'll like the results. We just hope the popularity of the guest hosts this week doesn't eclipse our own! After all, they don't even have to change the title of the podcast to steal it. Though now that I've put the idea out there, I am kind of nervous about it. At least Brianne may have been turned off of the idea by having to sing a song. Not so easy, is it?!

Here's an explanation of the difference between coupe and a sedan. Again, not so easy as some would have you believe.

We Eulogize a Console in Episode 69!

8/25/16

I guess nothin' can last forever...

I guess nothin' can last forever...

Right off, I have to apologize for the extended "Sing a Song About It" segment. Unless that's your thing, in which case episode 69 will be quite a treat! And of course we talk about the end of the Xbox 360 era. Now we're forced to enter the next console generation, where these infernal things can hear your voice and track your movements. Better to be monitored by Big Brother than to wallow in the past though!

Adam mentions a Penny Arcade comic that can be seen here if you so choose (which you should!)

Also, I should mention that The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek now has 50 entries! If you haven't already checked it out, you are probably a horrible human being. Just spend a couple minutes reading it to regain your cool kid status. Not too hard, really.

And an official count has Alex Clark with 21 appearances and Doug at 28! That means Doug gets the ultimate prize: he is banned from the podcast until Alex catches up!

Back to Basics Again in Episode 68!

7/18/16

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

Considering we've been podcasting since before it was cool, it's amazing how infrequently we've posted an episode in the month of July. Until now!

Adam and I both feel like mentioning that the new Ghostbusters film was pretty good. If you don't, you are sexist. That's how this works, right...? As usual, all of my complaints were criticisms that could have been as easily leveled at the original film (see, I'm learning!).

If you couldn't quite pick out the saxophone solo Adam was singing, here it is. Oh yeah, THAT song...

And of course, the patriotic meme that's been sweeping the nation:

It's Joe Piscopo Day in Episode 67!

6/17/16

Yep, I guess context DOES matter

Yep, I guess context DOES matter

I can hardly believe it's been a whole year since we conceived of Joe Piscopo Day. Episode 67 is a celebration of epic proportions! And I do believe we stay on the safe side of copyright infringement, though some folks in this episode disagree.

As we also mention, you are required to do something Joe Piscopo-related today in addition to listening to the podcast. Here are a few JP clips to help you fulfill your JPD obligations:

Only Three People Explode in Episode 66!

6/5/16

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

You will reach the part of episode 66 when we start playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes and you have no idea what's going on. Now you know how I felt actually PLAYING the game. I suppose it's something that a group of people could get good at, but where's the fun in that? And of course, Adam always relishes the opportunity to scream at the top of his lungs.

And just because Ted Cruz has officially dropped out of the presidential race doesn't mean you'll finally be rid of Cruz Tips. Or Cruise Tips. Or even Crews Tips! See? There's any number puns that will work. Besides, there's only so long the Ted "Theodore" "Edward" Cruz can stay away from the headlines. Just you wait!

Oh, speaking of dropping out...

And here's that infamous elbow and the handscuffle.

It's Shenan-again-za in Episode 65!

5/19/16

The legend himself

The legend himself

It's Adam here again, here to fill you in on the recent happenings here in Arizona in episode 65! While we talk about quite a few things in this one, we didn't even cover everything that happened, such as how we rearranged the VHS section of a local Goodwill to be by actor, or how we climbed a mountain and met Diamond Medallion (who apparently is a lizard), or any of the adventures of Gordon, the angry dad who repeats all his questions twice ("If you wanted Pepsi, why did you ask for Coke? WHY DID YOU ASK FOR COKE?!"). But despite that, there should be plenty of stories to keep you entertained for the full hour. You'll never think about Foreigner the same way!

And as you may recall, a couple months ago we started The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek, a guide to the original and animated series. Well, if you haven't checked it out recently, you should - we've now doubled the number of entries since we debuted, and we're still going strong!

OK, back to Charlie for the next episode's post, which I'm sure will be all about bomb defusal or something.

It's Gobeskis vs. Wallaces in Episode 64!

5/5/16

Zack Snyder insisted we include this photo

Zack Snyder insisted we include this photo

I almost didn't see Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I'm glad I did! And the reason is episode 64. Otherwise it was a waste of time. But listen to the episode!

And with all the political happenings, you can bet episode 65 will have some Cruz Tips! If the country hasn't fallen into chaos, of course. It is unfortunate that we've lost "Lyin' Ted" as a presidential candidate, but people hate him so much he's sure to show up in the news eventually!

As promised, here's what would happen if Zack Snyder made Spider-Man.

And maybe Doug could get a job at Warner Bros! (Just kidding, Doug!)

Things Get Operatic in Episode 63!

4/13/16

#1 Autocorrect

#1 Autocorrect

Domingo... Carreras... Pavarotti... Gobeski... Wallace? If you think it's a stretch to mention all of these names in one breath, you haven't listened to episode 63!

Turns out Wisconsin is an open primary state, so I could vote for whomever I wanted! My complete lack of civic engagement up until election day goes unpunished, yet again. I won't say who I cast my ballot for, but I will say this: I do not approve of lizard men. Maybe it's time our old friend Nick Bronson threw his hat in the ring...

Here is a Ted Cruz meme for you that is mentioned in the episode... and a Trump/Christie meme!

Also: Tim's Kitchen Tips. All the best ideas are already taken!

Everybody Gets Smug in Episode 62!

3/14/16

Friend of the show, Edward

Friend of the show, Edward "Smugly" Cruz

What better way to get you through the primary doldrums than with a new episode! Our timing is not a coincidence - we hope to influence all you Ohioans and Floridians out there to vote for the best candidate possible. And that candidate is... Ted Cruz? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...

In case you haven't noticed, Adam has started The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek (original series). Make sure to check it out. The show may be decades old, but the analysis is fresh as ever!

Speaking of Star Trek, here's a link to the Next Generation book Paul and Adam mention in the episode.

Also, THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE. BUT WE DID IT! We've made the Doctor Who Magazine Hat Trick. That is, our tweets have been featured three times IN PRINT, the way tweets are meant to be seen!

Charlie Gets Married in Episode 61!

2/28/16

Celebrating the creation of another great episode!

Celebrating the creation of another great episode!

Even though we recorded episode 61 back in September, for some reason I didn't get around to editing this one until now. So please forgive us for the outdated Star Wars references (not that it's the first time, so I'm sure you're used to it).

So in case you were wondering, the wedding went off without a hitch. I mean there was a hitch. Kara and I got hitched.

That is to say, everything went splendidly, and now I'm in the special "Married" club! I've got a member's ring and everything!

The Force Wakes Up in Episode 60!

1/31/16

A lot of people went to see this movie

A lot of people went to see this movie

Because it's us, it's the moment you've been waiting for: discussing the new Star Wars movie in Episode 60! Expect lots of thrills, spills, and pointing out problems in a movie we all generally agreed we liked quite a bit!

That's really all for now, but look forward to more excitement in the near future! Our goal is to release one podcast a month this year. Can we do it? (Maybe; so far so good!)

It's an Explosion in Episode 59!

12/22/15

Time out for number 1 (and 2)!

Time out for number 1 (and 2)!

It's Christmas time once again, and what better way to celebrate than with Episode 59? Tony and Paul are back to recount a harrowing (or is it hilarious?) tale from their Arizona trip, while Doug is ready to blow everyone's minds with a parallel universe theory he heard from hip-hop/rap group Run the Jewels!

And because it wouldn't be our podcast without them, here are a collection of links of things we mention that you might interested in:

Jason King is Back in Episode 58!

11/26/15

Hail to the King, baby

Hail to the King, baby

After a near-miss in Episode 54, the legendary Jason King finally makes a full-fledged appearance in Episode 58! It's another episode full of fun and nonsense that is no way dated by the fact that we're discussing the second halves of our summer or my impending wedding that's already happened. Hopefully you'll find that this episode is no turkey!

...Because today's Thanksgiving in the United States, see. I guess that joke's only funny if you read it on Thanksgiving. And are already drunk on turkey and alcohol.

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving from the Gobeski/Wallace Report!

The Future is Now in Episode 57!

10/21/15

Today is the day Marty McFly goes to the future!

Today is the day Marty McFly goes to the future!

Yes, the future has finally arrived, as reality catches up with Back to the Future Part II! How did they do? Listen to episode 57 to find out what Charlie, Adam, Alex, Doug, and Paul think! And thanks to Adam for what's our fastest turnaround from recording to release yet! (Although don't expect this to become a habit or anything.)

And for those not in the know, here are links to the Jaws 19 trailer (seriously, check that out if you haven't yet), Pepsi Perfect, and a commercial for those Pizza Hut shades Charlie mentioned.

Of course, it's not just the future we delve into -- there are also some blasts from the past to be found on our website, in both the Prehistory part of our Musings page and a new remastered version of Episode 10, way back from 2008! Although if you still want the original versions, they're still there too; we're not George Lucas.

Is Kirk a Republican? Find Out in Episode 56!

9/23/15

OK, I guess I do see the resemblance

OK, I guess I do see the resemblance

While I don't recall James T. Kirk or Captain Picard espousing any particular political ideology, we delve into that anyway in episode 56. While we at the Gobeski/Wallace Report consider ourselves apolitical, certain comments by presidential candidates require a response, and we were happy to dive in.

And again, here is the link to Adam's completed Dr. Who blog. Quite an accomplishment!

Please excuse the brief blog post - I'm getting married on Saturday! Of course that does not excuse all the other short entries, but I digress.

Our First Un-Official Celebrity Guest in Episode 55!

8/30/15

Hi-LAR-ious!

Hi-LAR-ious!

Here at the Gobeski/Wallace Report, we've found that the best podcast segments are ones that the guests have never heard of. Hence, episode 55. It's really a wonder that Paul Wilcox (one of the stars of the YouTube sensation "Hey Paul, dat pizza dough"!) agreed to show up on our podcast for a second time. Watch out, he may even be involved in an unprecedented THIRD episode in the near future.

For those of you who are concerned about whether the Emerald Ash Borer has made it to New Jersey, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you. Somewhere, Joe Piscopo is shedding a single tear.

Jason is Noticeably Absent In Episode 54!

6/9/15

When cat murder goes horribly wrong

When cat murder goes horribly wrong

Even the best laid plans only lead us to episode 54. Hopefully we'll get Jason to talk about "The Aristocats" very soon!

Here's the trailer for Jurassic World that I was referring to. See? Every line in the whole thing is DUMB. We could make a WAY better trailer. "Catception" anyone?

We Get Back to Basics in Episode 53!

5/10/15

Really, how could THIS possibly be confusing?

Really, how could THIS possibly be confusing?

When people look back through history at the GW Report, I think episode 53 will be considered a turning point. I'm not sure if it's for better or worse, but we sure do make a lot of superficial changes to the format. Looks like Adam is editing the next episode, and has already made more progress on a Nick Bronson project, so it looks like May/June will be content heavy on the GW Report.

Here is a link to the referenced Wu-tang Clan story. Other possible titles for this episode included "Back to Basics" and "From OPD to ODB". I chuckled when I came up with the last one, but realized no one would probably get it before listening. Or after listening for that matter.

The NSA Shuts Us Down in Episode 52!

3/28/15

Ok, well there is SOME resemblance...

Ok, well there is SOME resemblance...

Tony and Paul are back on a very guest intensive episode. There were some technical difficulties in the middle of recording, and by that I mean THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE. Download it, you might learn a thing or two! By the by, I think Doug has been in Idaho too long, because his conspiracy theory was rather well fleshed out. Am I the only person who thinks the government has our best interest in mind all the time and that we shouldn't question their motives? Especially on public blogs!

Oh, and in case you were interested in high card flush, here.

We Get the Gang Back Together in Episode 51!

3/9/15

A bit pessimistic, but entertaining nonetheless!

A bit pessimistic, but entertaining nonetheless!

Well I hope you have enjoyed your break since episode 50! I'm sure you have had the chance to listen to it SEVERAL times in the absence of new episodes! Personally, I took the opportunity to visit Adam and Brianne in Arizona to record yet another episode, which we bring to you now! We also got a chance to play a bunch of board games, including "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", which was a lot more fun than you would expect from a licensed game. It actually predates most of the cooperative board games that I'm familiar with, so I'd suggest you give it a try if you can find it, which you almost certainly can't.

Word on the street is that Tony Huff may be a special guest on the episode we are recording THIS VERY EVENING! [Of course we didn't record it that evening. Did you really think we would? --Editor Adam] Be on the lookout for that several months from now when I get around to editing it.

A Podcast Milestone - Episode 50!

12/24/14

Cuy-a-ho-ga...??

Cuy-a-ho-ga...??

It's hard to believe that we've finally gotten to Episode 50. And what better way to celebrate than with an extra-long audio explosion of all the additional bits that didn't fit into other podcasts! Plus, we head on a road trip to Mikey Susner's wedding! You can bet hijinks ensue!

But in all honesty, it's been a great time and we're both pretty proud of the product we've put out over the years. We hope you've enjoyed listening half as much as we've enjoyed making it!

Hopefully we can go another 50 episodes (in a shorter period of time) before we have enough extra material for a tag show.

We Preview Everything in Episode 48!

11/16/14

HILARIOUS!!!!

HILARIOUS!!!!

In Episode 48, we make judgements the only way we know how: quickly and with little or no information at our disposal! It's like you're sitting in the theater watching previews with us before a feature film, in that everyone is loud and it takes almost an hour.

On a serious note, we recorded this before the untimely death of Robin Williams, so make sure you listen with that in mind. To answer your question: No, Doug is not a sarcastic monster... at least not in this case.

Oh, and Martin Lawrence is 49 years young.

We Discuss Our Feelings Rhythmically in Episode 47!

9/26/14

He's got a basketball... FOR A HEAD!!!

He's got a basketball... FOR A HEAD!!!

I feel amazing when you listen to Episode 47 because you are such a devoted fan! Don't understand why I just said that? Listen to the episode and all will be revealed! Once again, a special thanks to the folks over at Michigan Beer Show for being guests on this one.

Also, Agents of Shield Season One has now been completely reviewed! Check it out to refresh your memory for season two!

We Geek Out about a POPULAR Movie in Episode 49

8/13/14

Brianne, Adam, Charlie, Doug and PJ, respectively.

Brianne, Adam, Charlie, Doug and PJ, respectively.

So wait, why is this Episode 49 and not Episode 47? Because we said so! Firefly was played out of order, and look how popular THAT is now!!

Also, we're as shocked as you are to discuss a movie both a) in a timely manner, and b) that's unabashedly worth seeing. But that's not all! This podcast also compares what we got on screen with some of the original comic book material! Let's see the New York Times do that!

And finally, you may have heard that Adam's been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. Which is nothing special, except this time he's blogging about it! You can check out all his insights here!

Listen to The GW Report After Hours in Episode 46

6/20/14

This is a koopa troopa.

This is a koopa troopa.

We've gotten several complaints that our podcast is not risque enough for today's discriminating audience. We've attempted to fix that in Episode 46! We hope your sensibilities are suitably offended!

Special thanks to Tony and Brandon from the Michigan Beer Show. If you only listen to two podcasts, make theirs one of them!

Oh, and here's a link to that Back to the Future blog.

Old School Gaming in Episode 45

6/4/14

Billy Joel would be so proud!

Billy Joel would be so proud!

Have you ever wanted to play every single NES game ever made? You may not realize this, but for every Super Mario Bros, there are about 15 Widgets. Of course, all of this is discussed in Episode 45.

Boy, Nick Bronson and Murphy sure are in trouble now. One of them might even be dead! How will this intriguing drama end?! Follow us @GWReport to see! Oh, and Doug's profile has been added to our profile page!

Plus, check out our NES Ratings Guide and Top 25 NES Games lists!

Episode 44 Features the Polar Vortex!

4/16/14

Good for the scenery, bad for the power grid

Good for the scenery, bad for the power grid

And we're back! We may have recorded it a while ago, but I assure you, there is nothing in it that dates Episode 44! Except maybe Christmas, weather pattern discussion, being in Michigan, the actual date being mentioned, etc...

Finally: Borderlands 2! Unfortunately, they've instituted a challege system whereby you have to find obscure "Vault Symbols" located around the map in weird locations. If not for that, we probably would have covered the same ground we have covered in 8 weeks in only one or two weeks. That and spending hours pumping fake money into fake slot machines.

The Nick Bronson story is still going strong on Twitter! What sort of mess have he and Murphy gotten themselves into now?! Follow us @GWReport!

Serenade Your Love with Episode 43!

2/10/14

Underwriting this movie was probably not a good idea...

Underwriting this movie was probably not a good idea...

Ever wonder how to set the perfect mood for a romantic getaway? Maybe Episode 43 will help you out! Or maybe it will get you strange looks! Either way, it is guaranteed to get you a reaction of some sort!

Y'all might have noticed that we've started a new Nick Bronson story in the format I've always felt it was made for - Twitter! You should be able to read it under the menu bar on the right, but don't forget to follow us @GWReport

Get Your Christmas Cheer with Episode 42!

12/24/13

The tweet read 'round the world -- and Charlie's Christmas tree too!

The tweet read 'round the world -- and Charlie's Christmas tree too!

Adam here, filling in for Charlie while he's off "driving" "home" for "Christmas". Speaking of Christmas, Episode 42 finds us reminiscing about Christmas meals and movies. I don't think anyone realized what number this podcast was, though, so anyone looking for Hitchhiker's Guide references will sadly be disappointed. Unless this counts right here.

Also, as you will learn (if you haven't already), we had a tweet published in the 50th Anniversary issue of Doctor Who Magazine. We've been printed, so now we've arrived. Seriously, I was pleased for days.

Finally, I've added a few reviews to our Musings section -- mainly about Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but there's also one on Doctor Who (go figure). Check it out!

Test Your Wits Against Ours in Episode 41!

10/14/13

This picture may contain minor spoilers

This picture may contain minor spoilers

Episode 41 was a great trip down memory lane, since Doug, Alex, Adam and I were all on the same Quiz Bowl team in high school. I definitely notice that I'm not as "quick on the buzzer" as I used to be, but some of that trivia is still rattling around in my brain somewhere! Unfortunately, this episode doesn't contain even one question about Eugene O'Neill. Oh well. Next time maybe.

We Say Goodbye to Michigan in Episode 40!

9/16/13

The movie that Brianne tried to take seriously

The movie that Brianne tried to take seriously

Well it finally happened, our last podcaster finally moved out of our home state. This is the first episode with no one representing the Great Lakes State. Luckily, modern technology has advanced to the point that you may NOT BE ABLE TO TELL AT ALL! Well, unless you notice our local references going stale...

It should also be pointed out that Adam's Calendar Man achievement disappeared. And then later it reappeared. Apparently, Microsoft likes to toy with its customers occasionally.

Superman is Back in Episode 39

7/1/13

A scene so dramatic, the cameraman is shaking with emotion!

A scene so dramatic, the cameraman is shaking with emotion!

How apropos that Episode 39 is a reboot of a movie we reviewed in Episode 20. Well, it's sort of a reboot. We discuss that.

And this episode might even be refered to as "timely" by those with a loose grip of the English language. Many thanks to Adam for editing this one! Watch out for the next episode, partially recorded in sunny Phoenix, Arizona!

Episode 38 - The Episode So Nice, We Recorded It Twice!

5/31/13

You'll need to listen if you want context.

You'll need to listen if you want context.

Adam and I were never folks to let technical difficulties get in the way of our art, so we present to you Episode 38, which we have repeated from memory VERBATIM! Wait, what does verbatim mean again...? No, that's not right. What I meant was "with some improvising in the spots we couldn't remember."

It seems we made a few more references to photographs than we usually do, so that's them in the banner (waffle creation on the left, Brianne's text pic on the right)!

Star Trek The Board Game is Back in Episode 37

4/9/13

Doug is nearing this level of anguish by the end of the podcast

Doug is nearing this level of anguish by the end of the podcast

Bet you never thought we'd get back to THIS again, but Adam had some work to avoid. Turns out I'M the bottleneck in the production of new episodes. Who knew? (everyone)

Also, we've got two new writings in the Musings section. By new, I mean we wrote them years ago and are recycling them on this site. But "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you!" (Trademark of NBC, 1997).

Vampires Ride Trains in Episode 36

2/22/13

This is exciting, but I think next time we should just buy tickets...

"This is exciting, but I think next time we should just buy tickets..."

Just in time for the Oscars, we deliver Episode 36 of the GW Report, in which we talk about all the movies that'll win big on Sunday.

Or maybe just some of them.

I guess we briefly touch on one or two.

Regardless, give it a listen! And this was apparently NOT the movie Doug was talking about. I suppose it will forever remain a mystery!

The Mouse with the Golden Bikini (a.k.a. episode 35)

12/5/12

Yes, this comic is real.

Yes, this comic is real.

Back from yet another hiatus, here is Episode 35. In this one, we talk about how George Lucas is insanely rich.

Anyway, I DID get to see Obama at a campaign rally following this recording. And Bruce Springsteen. And Obama got re-elected. And it is past Thanksgiving. Man, I need to update everything more frequently.

And a new Birthday Comic is up! Only 5 months too late! I'm hoping to finish Adam and Brianne's wedding comic sometime before Star Wars: Episode 7 comes out.

Oh, and links to the referenced Chainsaw Suit comic and Mickey suicide info, for good measure.

We Submit Kittens To Weird Experiments in Episode 34

5/29/12

Did you know the internet has a public domain photo of a Pepsi Max two liter next to Papa John's pizza? Seriously, what are the odds?!

Did you know the internet has a public domain photo of a Pepsi Max two liter next to Papa John's pizza? Seriously, what are the odds?!

Our kitten Maron is lucky we're all talk, or she may not have gotten out of this episode without visiting "flavor country", as Adam put it.

And for all those interested, Brianne, Adam, Doug and I have been playing Borderlands almost every week for AN ENTIRE YEAR now (I know this because Adam still occasionally gives me grief about missing our session LAST Memorial Day). We're finally on the last bit of DLC. It's been a good run. I think we may need to play something else before we give Borderlands 2 a try though...

NOTE: Adam informs me I am well aware that we are playing Marvel: Ultimate Alliance next. I suppose this is technically true.

Episode 33 Has More Nick Cage than Usual!

4/17/12

The number one cause of brush fires in the North America

The number one cause of brush fires in the North America

We had intended to get the most recent episode out to warn you not to see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance in the theater. A whole two months later, here you go! Turns out no one saw the movie anyway. So mission accomplished.

I can't decide whether it would be a blessing or a curse to be Nicholas Cage. Granted, you have piles of money and can afford to make unprofitable movies on a whim, but something tells me that there's a lot of inner conflict there... much like the Ghost Rider, Johnny Blaze! Let's do a quick comparison!

Johnny Blaze : Nicholas Cage

Forced to destroy evil men : Forced to make awful movies to sustain ridiculous lifestyle

Owes soul to the devil : In 2007, owed the IRS $6.2 million (approximate value of one human soul)

Conspicuous in public places : Conspicuous in public places

NOW I see why this was his pet project.

The GW Report Just Got a Little More Partisan

3/18/12

Left to right: President of the Universe, Chancellors of the Ground, Sea and Air

Left to right: President of the Universe, Chancellors of the Ground, Sea and Air

Hey, ever wonder what those Republican debates would sound like if the candidates were out of touch with reality and just said anything to get elected? Oh wait...

Also, while we're on the subject of voting, Adam wrote a new article!

We Finally Create a Format in Episode 31

1/23/12

You see what can be accomplished with a simple dress code?

You see what can be accomplished with a simple dress code?

Wow, coming up with new content for every episode is exhausing. Don't you wish there were just some formula that allowed us to come up with new material in an organized way? Oh wait, there is! Just create a bunch of segments!

Despite our attempts to insinuate to Alex that he is not welcome, he has somehow wormed his way into our podcast on a regular basis. Thus, it was decided that he needed a bio of his very own. I hope this doesn't send him the wrong message...

Episode 30: The Obligatory "Heartwarming" Christmas Episode

12/18/11

Unless you have to return the game to the store!!

Unless you have to return the game to the store!!

Another year of the GW Report is coming to a close, and what do we have to show for it? Our 30th episode! What better Christmas gift is there?

Episode 29 - Throwback (with Improvisational Recorder)

11/12/11

Not at all similar to our movie

Not at all similar to our new movie "Throwback"

Well, we've got another one for you. Though "Diplomatic Immunity" never seemed to get off the ground, I'm hoping a major studio picks up "Throwback" (discussed in Episode 29). It can't miss!

What's "Diplomatic Immunity", you ask? It's our screenplay about a crazy, off-the wall unemployed dude who wins a radio contest to become the ambassador to some unpronounceable foreign country! It was really designed as a vehicle for the endlessly versatile prop comic Carrot Top, but we'd be willing to reconsider the lead in order to be more "current". Kevin James, maybe?

We are still seeking investors for both ideas. Contact us via Twitter (@GWReport).

Episode 28 is Sphincter Gold!

9/25/11

OK, maybe not the best James Bond movie to start with...

OK, maybe not the best James Bond movie to start with...

If the title "Goldsphincter" wasn't clear enough for you, Episode 28 is about James Bond! As an incidental update on the contents, a few of my friends and I exposed Kara to her first James Bond movie last night ("From Russia with Love"). It was kind of hard to defend the existence of the "gypsy catfight" in Act II, but I think she did appreciate it to some extent.

Also, quick excerpt from my text message archive:

ADAM: Podcast!
CHARLIE: Will do tomorrow. Just talked to someone (other than PJ) who has listened to every episode!
ADAM: Did they like it?
CHARLIE: Yeah, I guess so.
ADAM: That was a ringing endorsement. Also, I'm beating your Xevious score on Xbox Live.

So, in summary, I have to buy Xevious on Xbox Live now. Crap.

In Episode 27, Witness the Birth of Movie Franchise

8/20/11

These men certainly have the greatest 80's hair ever, but best 80's song...?

These men certainly have the greatest 80's hair ever, but best 80's song...?

Here's Episode 27!

Well, I'm back in Michigan for a few days, which means new podcast recordings tomorrow!! Which means new podcast episodes up half a year from now!!! Can you possibly contain your excitement!?!?!

In semi-related news, our Monday night Borderlands sessions seem to be a success. Of course, each outing begins with Adam challenging each member of our crew to a duel. This slows our progress slightly, but mostly irritates me because he ALWAYS WINS. Bouts consist of seeing how long you can run around the ring until his Berserker catches up with you. So far, I consider Brianne the biggest challenge to his dominance, since her Siren can disappear at will. But not forever, not long enough.

Busting Out the Urban Dictionary in Episode 26

7/25/11

At least we don't charge for our baseless speculation...

At least we don't charge for our baseless speculation...

In the midst of a heat wave, a looming debt ceiling crisis and a heartbreaking World Cup loss, it is hard not to see our nation as one in decline. That is, until Episode 26! If this country produced us and this podcast, is there nothing it can't do? You do not need to answer that question, because it is rhetorical, and the answer is obviously "No! We are Masters of the Impossible!"

Alex "Mad Dog" Clark has once again managed to finagle his way back into our podcast (and our hearts). Just go with it, and try to ignore the fact that I just used the word "finagle".

Episode 25, In Which We Talk About Video Games!

6/27/11

Pretty sure this is the level in question...

Pretty sure this is the level in question...

At three months, Episode 25 doesn't even represent the longest delay between recording and delivery for an episode. Still, you may hear one or two topical things that will have you roiling in nostalgia for February '11.

There's still time to sign up for the GW Report "Fun" Run! Don't delay, failure to sign up for Early Bird registration may cost you hundreds of dollars! What, you don't want to help the poor babies? You heartless monster...

Also, have you seen Adam's most recent Birthday Comic?

Episode 24 Proves That We Have Friends!

5/31/11

Sadly, with the advent of Skype, the 'lobster phone' lost much of its appeal.

Sadly, with the advent of Skype, the "lobster phone" lost much of its appeal.

In Episode 24, Adam and I prove once again that you can't hide from The GW Report. In fact, the "call-in" show was such a success, I'm not sure why we'd ever ASK anyone to be a guest again.

Summer is here, which means it's time to sign up for the third annual Gobeski/Wallace Report Fun Run this July 15th at 7:00 a.m.! Registration is open now, and is a mere $57.60 for the first mile, $47.90 for each additional mile. We won't personally be there, so just report your distance/time to us (honor system!), and the person who runs the farthest will receive their very own digital single of "The Theme from Solarbabies" and a handwritten thank you note. Winner should send a SASE to my home, or just be satisfied with the fact you are doing so much to combat Infant Restless Leg Syndrome. At least I think that's the charity we made up.

You're Live on the Gobeski/Wallace Report in Episode 23!

4/6/11

The Gobeski/Wallace Report: Scaring children at Toys 'R Us since 2008

The Gobeski/Wallace Report: Scaring children at Toys 'R Us since 2008

Much like Shark Week, our call in podcast is something you never asked for, but is surprisingly satisfying!

Kara and I recently saw fellow podcaster Marc Maron when he performed in Madison this weekend. I shook his hand and got a free sticker (!!!). I didn't ask him if he listened to the Report, but the look in his eyes said it all: "Keep up the good work! One day you will be the number one comedy podcast on iTunes!" I already knew that, but it was nice of him to communicate non-verbally anyway.

The Best (and Worst) of 2010

2/21/11

The second most atrociously named artist of 2010

The second most atrociously named artist of 2010

After almost two months of deliberation, we've finally come up with our favorite things of last year! Of course, it's been long enough that you probably already feel a wave of nostalgia for 2010, or as I like to call it, The Year of the Bieber.

*UPDATE* 2/22/11 Bieber cut his hair today! He still looks stupid, but this does put him in the running for best celeb of 2011. Now all he has to do is remain relevant for 10 months! If Katy Perry can stay in the spotlight for more than a year, I know you can too buddy!

Hey, always wanted to participate in the podcast but didn't know how? Now you're in luck! We'll take any and all questions live on Sunday March 6, 9 pm EST (that's 8 pm CST) on Skype. Our username is gwreport! This is your chance to really let us know who you are, to tell us your innermost feelings, and to have us berate you as soon as you hang up.

Movie Trivia Action and Stuff in Episode 21!

1/26/11

Yes, this episode has Surf Ninjas. You're welcome.

Yes, this episode has Surf Ninjas. You're welcome.

Once again, we're giving you the chance to play along with us! Just pause the podcast after the cast list has been given and make your own guess. Remember to hit play again when you've come up with an answer!

While The Leonard Maltin Game is not of our own invention, we certainly make it our own.

Another Musing courtesy Adam Gobeski is available!

Episode 20 and Superman II, FTW!

12/28/10

I was a big fan of all the glowering in this film.

I was a big fan of all the glowering in this film.

Was Superman II a decent movie, or simply adequate? Episode 20 seeks to lay this age-old debate to rest.

Also, if you haven't visited our Musings section recently, now would be a good time. It seems Adam has been much more busy with his personal amusement than his academic progress lately. But seeing as we seem to be the benficiaries, let's not be too critical, okay?

Carl Paladino would NOT approve of Episode 19!

11/1/10

Surely, the greatest abomination nature has ever seen

Surely, the greatest abomination nature has ever seen

With only 24 hours until Election Day 2010, Episode 19 couldn't have come at a better time. Do you know where do YOU stand on such controversial issues as space aliens, spam email and inter-species relationships? Clearly, you can't afford NOT to listen!

Additionally, it would be an excellent time to start following us on Twitter @GWReport. Adam and I are currently embroiled in a Legal Battle of Epic Proportion. Professional standards dicatate that we not let animosity seep into our audio recordings, so Twitter is the only way to see how it turns out!

Finally, Episode 18 Answers All Your Questions!

10/7/10

This episode justifies the existence of Space Cowboys

This episode justifies the existence of "Space Cowboys"

Whew, sorry to leave you on that cliffhanger! But patience is a virtue, and we here at the GW Report like to instill just a little bit of virtue in all of our listeners. Anyway, sorry to make you wait until the end of the paragraph. Here you go!

Plus, we've got some writings for you! Here, Adam recounts a most peculiar discussion overheard in the year 2007...

You can check out all of our original articles, songs etc. in the Musings section!

Episode 17 Versus the World

9/25/10

Awesome fight scenes? Check!

Awesome fight scenes? Check!

Hey, there you are! I've been looking everywhere. Listen, I've got this new podcast episode I need you to try out. This one is pretty good, honest. Nothing like that last one. Unless you happened to like the last one. Then I'd wager it's pretty much identical...

Minor site changes. Bonus G/W points if you can spot them! Also, our site has been visited by people from over 10 countries(!!!). That is more countries than I think both of us have been in, so word must be spreading more quickly than typhus on the Oregon Trail.

Anyway, sorry for the cliffhanger at the end. The next episode should be up in the next couple of weeks, so you won't have to wait too long...

Episode 16 for Freedom!

9/7/10

Too many cooks, as they say...

Too many cooks, as they say...

A new episode is available! In this one, we give away of some of your rights while we amass more for ourselves. Fair? Not really. Entertaining? Almost certainly!

We've already had one visitor to the website from China! Greetings, friend! Even if you don't speak English, that's OK. The banner at the top of the screen has made it worth that long journey, I'm sure.

Adam has pointed out that it may just have been someone "bouncing a signal off China using a proxy." I'm not quite sure what that means, but I think it's just his way of saying, "Hello, and welcome to our website!"

September Site Launch!

8/25/10

And we are up and running! Yes, it's been quite the crazy ride these past few years, but we've finally managed to produce our own gen-u-ine website. And why not? Certainly, we not may individually warrant our own "WWW" domain, but as a team? Was there any doubt in your mind?

If there was, we can't be friends anymore. Sorry!

You'll find a link to our old podcasts somewhere in that menu thingy, as well as any new ones we churn out. You'll soon see some other things show up too, like maybe a bio-page, assorting ramblings of the Wallacine or Gobeskian nature, and perhaps someday some flashy advertisements to make you question our motives.

Already subscribed? No need to fear, your feed should be redirected automatically! Not subscribed? Search for us in the iTunes store or put the link:

http://www.gobeskiwallacereport.com/Podcast/Podcast.rss

into your podcast downloading program. What are you waiting for?!

Last updated: December 3, 2017

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