Our Merry Marvel Movie March returns in episode 97 with our final movie of the 1990s, the 1998 action classic Blade! Join us as we talk about how much ass Wesley Snipes kicks, how Stephen Dorff (and definitely NOT Stephen Root) is forever associated with this role, and just how far CGI effects have come in the last 19 years!
Tom Breihan over at the AV Club has been choosing the most influential action movie of each year in his feature "A History of Violence". Blade was his pick for 1998, but the entire series of articles is well worth reading, so if you love action movies (and if you don't, hi Amber!), you should absolutely check it out!
We mention a number of other movies in this episode, including the hilarious New Zealander movie What We Do in the Shadows, the wonderfully bizarre Japanese movie The Rug Cop, and the rather dated American movie Convoy. Wait, Convoy was directed by Sam Peckinpah? That might be the most surprising thing about this -- even more surprising than the fact that trucker movies were apparently a mini-genre in the '70s? The mind boggles!
Paul also brings up the website MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers.com. The site itself is gone, but it still exists in an archived form! And maybe if we're really lucky, by the time you read this Paul will have created the BladeIRL subreddit for us all to enjoy!
We talk to Amber Elby in episode 96, and we must say, her book Cauldron's Bubble was very enjoyable -- Adam and I both recommend you check it out on Amazon! It's going to be a trilogy, so we'll be sure to have her back on the show when the next book drops in 2018.
This is the Doritos monstrosity that Adam will
probably definitely make me eat eventually. You've been warned.
Also, correction to the "Chipping with Charlie" segment - Frito Lay has bagel chips, including "everything" flavor.
Adam doesn't think he's read a book predating 1950 for the last 14 years: "It turns out our society keeps creating new works! Too many works, in the case of TV; there's way too much stuff that I'm apparently supposed to keep track of. #rant #yesIrealizethisisvaguelyparadoxicalandIDONTCARE". And this arbitrary restriction only causes him to miss out on ONE Ray Bradbury collection, so no big loss there! [Edit: No, wait, P.G. Wodehouse. Wodehouse predates 1950, and I've definitely read that. Oh, and a bit of G.K. Chesterton. So I guess there's some stuff, but not a lot. -Adam]
Here's the history of Mexican Coke, and the title takes down hipsters a notch. Who would have thought the Smithsonian was so snarky!
Finally, here's a link announcing the end of the trivia show Quizbusters that we're talking about in the episode. But sorry, those of you who want to watch us; unfortunately our appearances predate the digital archive.
Who better than our good friend and conspirator Alex Clark to help us celebrate a milestone in episode 95? On September 23rd, we managed to hit the 10 year mark! Just think of how many episodes we could have released by now if we hadn't taken that year long break? But let's not think about "what ifs". Let's revel in our good fortune and hope that the world of podcasting is still a thing 10 years from now! Maybe we'll hit episode 150...?
Please contact us if you want to be our unpaid intern and start the GW Report wiki! Being named Doug not required, but a plus!
Here's what wikipedia says nougat actually is. Now that I know, I don't want it anymore! It's true what they say, ignorance truly is bliss, especially where candy bars are concerned.
The phrase A-OK was popularized by astronauts. It was important that Houston knew that they were not referring to Oklahoma, and it is possible that the whole Apollo 13 disaster would have been completely avoided if this abbreviation had been in common use at that time (citation needed).
Tragedy re: 2 Live Crew, though this happened BEFORE we recorded this podcast, so we can in NO way be held responsible. Legally, I mean. If you're a vindictive person, there's nothing we can actually do to stop you.
I could have found any article to inform you that our very own Frankie Muniz is now on "Dancing with the Stars", but here's one about how he was probably your teenage crush.
And for our first and last ever GW Sports Update, the Detroit Lions are now 2-1! They've already exceeded MY expectations, it's all gravy from here on out!
We're joined by "very" "special" "guests" Nancy and Anne Wilson of the band Heart in episode 94. How do we keep getting all of these "stars" to be on our podcast? Just dumb luck I guess, they keep stopping by unannounced!
Reportedly a huge influence on the latter works of Heart, here's a link to some info on the band Flippity Flop Doo Doo Man, although they haven't updated their MySpace page in almost 10 years...
Every once in a while, the universe conspires to let you know your art is worthwhile (i.e. this podcast). For me, it's this info on JoBeth Williams' most recent film.
In case you were wondering whether this episode is appropriate for children: No it is not.
Here's that Gandhi II video that's sure to get you children into trouble at school.
And a link to Nathan Rabin's website. I submit that it is more entertaining and edifying than the previous links so far.
Wait, maybe this Ducktales one is better... hard to say.
OK, OK, almost done with the links. Here's the website that Roger Ebert's book came from - also a great read.
Finally, Bob Ross performing an exorcism.
I think we can all agree that Wings lives on in the collective pop culture conciousness. Who could forget Tony Shaloub as Antonio Scarpacci? Or Thomas Haden Church as Lowell? Or... Roy? Yeah, I think there was a guy named Roy... Well, look in the near future for our Wings podcast, where we are sure to list every single character.
And JNCOs! Apparently, this article Adam mentioned was not an article at all, but just a picture. Who reads articles anyway?
It looks as if there is no 21 Jump Street/Men in Black crossover in the works. Besides being a mind-bendingly strange idea, it's apparently "too high stakes". Hmmm.
And a special treat! Adam has transcribed ALL of the lyrics to Ivan Neville's hit from Captain America, "Home of the Brave". Here it is, so that you don't have to rewatch the YouTube video yourself.
HOME OF THE BRAVE
Liberty and justice
Every free man's point of view
You gotta keep it goin' now
The old red, white, and blue
Sound the bells of freedom
Let all the people say
Send a message loud and clear
A beast to beat 'em with [Maybe? This line's really hard to decipher]
Home of the brave
Home of the brave
Pray to God that we will save
The home of the brave
All the decorations
For which this country stands
Will echo through the canyon
And all over this great land
We got to stand together now
This feeling'll never die
The stars and stripes forever
Let's keep 'em flyin' high
Home of the brave
Home of the brave
I pray to God that He will save
The home of the brave
Home of the brave
Home of the brave
I pray to God that He will save
The home of the brave
Home of the brave
Home of the brave
I pray to God that we will save
The home of the brave
I want to start out by saying that episode 92 was recorded before the untimely death of Chester Bennington. So, I wouldn't say our "Sing A Song About It" segment is an homage, so much as... an unfortunate coincidence. Try to enjoy it as least as much as Charlie enjoyed singing it anyway!
Here's a little background on Nathan Fielder, which provided the inspiration for our own Redbox-inspired product. We HIGHLY recommend his show, which actually is absurdist and doesn't usually insult the participants as much as you would think. But is it as absurdist as Tim and Eric? I don't think so.
We encourage you to come up with your own "y-infused" names such as Yynnyfyr. Adam pointed out that they all invariably sound like Viking names. And that's totally cool! Just submit them via Twitter @gwreport and we'll read them on air. Or maybe try @gwrypyrt, see if that works.
The March continues in episode 91, as we tackle the legendarily unreleased Fantastic Four movie. Is it really as bad as its reputation suggests? You'll have to listen to the episode to find out but, spoiler alert, no, not really. It is very low budget though, so you can sort of see Marvel's point of view.
Last July we noted how infrequently we release episodes in July. And yet this year we've given you THREE episodes this month -- a feat we've only accomplished once before, back in October 2007! And I'm not sure those even count! Apparently this "every two weeks" schedule is really working out!
Here's that link to the GIF-free Buzzfeed page we talk about. Journalism at its finest!
And Adam would like you to know that his Doctor Who blog is back for the next three weeks! You owe it to yourself to check it out!
Sorry if our episode backlog shows in episode 90 (an "upcoming" Piscopo Day is mentioned). Still, you should be happy that there are plenty more episodes coming up uninterrupted! This week, Adam tells us about some mishaps he had coming back from a trip to a conference out east. He may not have a medical degree, but sometimes a well-placed puff of fresh air can make the difference between success and disaster! Also, the paramedics helped out that lady a bit as well.
For the time being, you can't get two of the same flavor scoops of ice cream at Ben and Jerry's in Australia. Similar scoops now available in Germany though, presumably!
Adam was right; Despicable Me beat out Baby Driver at the box office. Are we really surprised though? Who wants to see wonderfully choreographed car chases when you can watch amorphous yellow blobs spout nonsense to each other?
Adam's actual opinion of Baby Driver (which I for the most part share): Decent but not great. Probably therefore Edgar Wright's weakest film, in my opinion. (Acknowledging I've never seen his first film, so maybe that's worse.) But overall, I still recommend seeing it (in the theater)! Adam recommends Spider-Man: Homecoming instead.
And more breaking news! Peter Capaldi is stepping down as the twelfth Doctor on Doctor Who, and his replacement was just announced yesterday! Click here to find out who, although I'd be a bit impressed if you'd managed to miss it. Even the New York Times covered it, and Doctor Who news is usually beneath them.
What better way to celebrate the birth of our nation than with a review of the 1990 movie Captain America? Maybe the 2011 Captain America movie? Well, that's for much later, so this one will have to do!
Here's that Mitchell and Webb sketch about the Nazis, which teaches us that introspection is always worthwhile, no matter the situation.
Once again it's time to celebrate Joe Piscopo Day in episode 88! We discuss some of our birthday haul, as well a brand-new segment called "Chippin' with Charlie"! And does the man himself stop by to discuss ponies and cruise ships? You'll have to listen to find out!
And while Mr. Piscopo himself may have ultimately decided not to run for governor of New Jersey, that doesn't mean we can't still celebrate his career with-- wait, is this really the best sketch we could find? I guess you'll have to do some of the work on your own this year...
Concerned about the fact that "Happy Birthday" being in the public domain means we won't get to hear those off-brand restaurant versions any more? You're not the only one!
And if you have $200 just burning a hole in your pocket, you might want to consider spending it on some sweet Star Trek model ships.
Oh, and this just in: Star Trek: Discovery has a premiere date!!
Once again, we are back at it in episode 87 with our Merry Marvel Movie March (here's the list!), reviewing the 1989 film The Punisher starring the one and only Dolph Lundgren! It's actually the second time Adam and I have seen it, and it was BETTER this time around. Imagine that!
Adam makes reference to a superhero group that was sarcastically proposed by Dwayne McDuffie; here's an article about that if you want to know more. Also another about the time the Punisher became temporarily black. Yeah, that really happened...
Wait, which Korea are we supposed to like as US citizens? I dunno, I guess we'd better go with Best Korea per Doug's suggestion! I can't be bothered to check, but sounds right to me!
Everybody bust out the Prequel Memes, it's time for the 40th anniversary of the premiere of Star Wars on May 25th, and we're celebrating by revealing our own Star Wars history in episode 86. It's hard to believe it's already been 40 years! Oh wait, no it's not, since it has existed longer than I have. Oh well, I always relish the opportunity to acknowledge arbitrary passages of time!
Yes, yes, we bag a bit on "The Big Bang Theory" in this episode. So now we'll be hated by people who love the show, and hipsters who think hating the show is "so 2008". Anyway, here's what the show is like in my head whenever I watch it.
If you've been listening to our podcast at all recently, you should know why this YouTube video pretty much encapsulates everything we stand for.
If you liked Paul's little rendition of Meco's Star Wars Theme, here's the original. I like Paul's beat-box version better though.
Now there is a trailer for Star Trek Discovery for you to enjoy as well. So many links this week!!
And last but not least, the Rebel Assault II: Mystery Science Theater 1138 videos Adam was mentioning.
I regret to say I have never attended a Shenaniganza. Listening to it being described in episode 85 is an experience unto itself. There's a whole world of memes, bits and, well, shenanigans that you and I will never know firsthand. But some mysteries are better left hidden I suppose.
We've got some more Merry Marvel Movie March episodes coming up. Why not refamiliarize yourself with what we've done so far? Check out the Podcasts page if you really feel that hearing about Howard the Duck and the 1944 Captain America serial will help prepare you for The Punisher (1989).
Ooh, were you confused about the Dennis Quaid mouth open reference? Do you want to see it? You are a very strange person.
And though we can't possibly link to every meme mentioned, here's one you should be familiar with.
Apparently there's no better time to go on vacation than mid-March, it seems, as episode 84 makes clear. And Tony and Paul had only just arrived in Phoenix for their third annual Shenaniganza and were already full of upsetting-yet-hilarious stories! Enjoy a hilarious late-night episode fueled by caffeine, adrenline, and pure distilled rage!
(And don't worry, next episode will be a detailed breakdown of everything that happened during Shenanibananaganza itself.)
And if you can't get enough of the hits of John "Smash" Mouth, here's a mash-up to tide you over.
And don't despair! Our Merry Marvel Movie March will continue soon! Did I bring this up just to use this GIF again? Yes, but also to let you know that Adam has made up a list of all the movies we have to look forward to! Apparently they do eventually get better...
It's amazing that we've made it through 83 episodes without devoting an entire episode to board games, but here it is! I'm glad to know that Cards Against Humanity is the great common denominator for all board game geeks. Or maybe it's Catan? Eh, either way.
Do you think you have the qualifications to be the next CEO for Cards Against Humanity? How do you stack up?
Our guest for Episode 83 is Jessica Klaers, the co-host of our new podcast Cinematic Respect. Each episode centers on a guest who is a cultural moron and hasn't seen a great film. Much like Quantum Leap's Sam Beckett, we keep "trying to right what once went wrong" and forcing them to enjoy that movie. If you like movies, or you like Charlie, or you're willing to listen to a podcast despite not liking both those things, you'll love it!
With the combined brain power of our guests, you'd think that we would have at least attempted a trip to an "escape room" at some point. Not so! But Brianne and Adam had a chance and told us about it in Episode 82. As we discussed, we thought of some clever, artsy escape rooms that would teach you an important lesson about life. Here's a few more I've thought of since.
Oh, and some very unfortunate news about Hiddleswift. Is there no romance in the world anymore? And this happened in September, why did none of you tell me??
Usually we do our "Conspiracy Corner" segment in an aloof way, but this time it has personal meaning in Episode 81. I briefly considered that maybe I had a secret admirer, sending me obscure DVD flops, but that theory quickly paved the way for more... SINISTER possibilities. Also in this episode, we talk about the movie "Pixels" more than you would expect.
So you think Obama is a nerd? Well, not the type of nerd who is familiar with "Dune"! John Hodgman put him to the test way back in 2009 and he disappointed the whole nation. It's Shai-Hulud, Mr. President. SMH so hard.
Oh, in case you want Gobeski-level productivity, here is a link to the Star Trek Voyager bridge background which you can use to annoy your coworkers! And that "La La Land" article in which they prove that Emma Stone's character DESERVED to be a failure.
Episode 80 takes place in Arizona, but don't worry - we talk at length about off-track betting. And fun times were had by all! We played the highest scoring game of mini-golf ever, played several awesome board games and I only got really sick after I left! (There may be a couple sniffles left in the recording, this is my method of apologizing for that.)
We've reached the milestone of 80 episodes, which means we've released more episodes than the original Star Trek TV series. Yet amazingly, I think this may be the very first time we discuss "American Gladiators" on the podcast. Here's a list of gladiators in case you've forgotten. Luckily, Liquid Cold Magma isn't taken yet!
And here's a link to a clip from The Drew Carey Show. It's what Alex thinks of my "Sing a Song About It" attempts in general. He's got a point.
There just isn't a whole lot to say about the movie Howard the Duck that we don't say in episode 79. After all, the back of the DVD says it is "one of the most talked-about movies of all time". And the only reason to watch it is to understand why everyone groaned at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy. But now you don't have to. YOU'RE WELCOME.
(Adam wants you to know that he thinks 1986-era Lea Thompson is a reason to watch it. So if that works for you and for some reason you don't just want to watch the best parts on YouTube, then I guess you have that!)
I'm actually writing this blog post at ADAM'S VERY OWN KITCHEN TABLE! That means you can expect that the next episode actually contains us both in the same room in Arizona! And if you are a fan of off-track betting, you may even hear that episode broadcast over the speakers as you lose your kids' college fund to your gambling addiction. Don't understand what I mean? I forgot you haven't heard that episode yet. Stay tuned!
Another highlight of the trip was our journey to the mini-golf course, where Adam doubled his score on the last hole. He finished at 102. That's the problem with "playing it where it lies" and "not giving up at 6 strokes like a weenie". It may have been the most entertaining 15 minutes of my life. Check out our Facebook page to see the shenanigans yourself!
Also, we rated some new NES games. Well, the games themselves aren't new, but the ratings and comments are! If you weren't aware we've been doing this for almost 20 years and although we've slowed down, we haven't stopped. Alex has a lot of unrated games to look forward to!
Look out, it's a Christmas episode in January! And instead of delaying release due to my laziness, we actually had TOO MUCH CONTENT recorded that had to be released before this one. So don't think of it as a month late; it's really 11 months early!
So I found an article that addresses the "bwam" sound we discuss in the episode. Except they call them "Braaams". We're right, they're wrong. However, they did SOME research which I don't feel like doing myself, so you can read their thing if you want. Also, this one.
Dr. McNinja has finally ended its run. Just in time for me to start reading it! If you like ninjas, dinosaurs, large apes, pirates and robots, I'd give it a chance. If you don't like those things... did you have a childhood? Or did you just skip straight from being a baby to being an adult?
Finally, you can hear the exciting conclusion to our review of the Captain America serial from 1944. And boy, Grant Gardner goes on a rampage. I imagine right after the last episode fades out, the police chief says, "So, about those dozens of people you murdered..." But overall, it was pretty entertaining and we all suggest you watch some of it!
So the statistics have been tallied and it appears that we put out more than one episode per month last year. Dare we try for TWO episodes a month in 2017? Well, we're on track so far! And it certainly wouldn't be the strangest thing to happen this year. That's almost a guarantee.
Wow, it's truly amazing that so many guest stars stopped by in episode 76! But when you have access to wikipedia, I suppose anything is possible. Stay tuned to the end for our very special message to the year 2016!
Speaking of the New Year, today is your LAST day to make donations to the GW Report this calendar year! You may be asking:
I respect that you are a naturally inquisitive person, but you really just need to open up your wallet and donate, preferably in person and with cash. Also, that last one was not a question.
We've finally made it the traditional podcasting milestone of 75 episodes! Can't think of a more important number than that! No sir! Here's our second clips show for you celebrate with. It was actually a lot of fun to record and produce. Download it and listen with your family/coworkers/general acquaintances/people at restaurants who know who you are because you order from them so often/friends/"friends" around the Christmas tree this year, especially if the politics of the recent election leaves you feeling like you can't find common ground.
And here is the source material for our audiobook productions. I can't decide whether you should watch them before or after listening to episode 75. So you choose! (Definitely watch them after! --Editor Adam)
After threatening several times, we finally begin the Merry Marvel Movie March in episode 74. I suspect this will probably take a while, especially since approximately 1,100 Marvel properties have been spun into movies since I started writing this sentence. But we conduct this public service with a smile because, hey, we're watching fun movies (mostly).
You should go watch an episode of the Captain America serial on YouTube now, and at least give it a chance. Why have a stupid magical shield when you can just waste fools with your handgun??
If you don't follow Paul F. Tompkins on Twitter, your life is hollow. Here's a link to the tweet we reference, to brighten your day. Now you know what insult to hurl at internet trolls when you foolishly engage them.
It's the day before the 2016 election, and what better time to introduce a new presidential candidate to you? Episode 73 gives us a look at the policies and personality of Daniel Baker, the leader of the Workers Against Needless Guidelines party! I feel better about the country already!
I was going to supply you with the Internet's finest efforts for phat beats from DJ Trump (DJ DJ Trump?) but it frankly got depressing really fast. So here, this might help instead.
And Adam says you should go see Doctor Strange tonight! Depending on how things go tomorrow, you might not get another chance!
We seem to be landing bigger and bigger guest stars these days, and we've got our biggest so far in episode 72. Frankie's voice has gotten a lot deeper since I last heard him, but I guess he's all grown up now!
The guy's name is definitely Evan McMullin. Turns out the race in Utah may be more exciting than the country as a whole...
Our very own Alex Clark has a Twitch account, which you can access here. Parental advisory: he uses some swears.
Here's a list of all the 3rd Rock from the Sun episode titles. It's even worse than I imagined.
Or not! Probably not!
Here's the Stephen Colbert clip that we play in the podcast. He'll be hearing from our lawyer! Of course, I'm sure we'll be hearing from his lawyers for playing that clip without permission. So hopefully this whole legal battle will even out in the end. We're ultimately just hoping for some publicity. Please follow us on Twitter, Stephen!
Like a little politics with your Star Trek? Well here's the anti-Brexit, anti-Donald subtext we talked about in the episode.
And of course, here's a link to our newly founded nation. Will it meet the same fate as Old Bakergobeskiland? With an economy that is best described as "Basket Case", I think we'll know very soon!
We mix things up a bit in episode 70, but we think you'll like the results. We just hope the popularity of the guest hosts this week doesn't eclipse our own! After all, they don't even have to change the title of the podcast to steal it. Though now that I've put the idea out there, I am kind of nervous about it. At least Brianne may have been turned off of the idea by having to sing a song. Not so easy, is it?!
Here's an explanation of the difference between coupe and a sedan. Again, not so easy as some would have you believe.
Right off, I have to apologize for the extended "Sing a Song About It" segment. Unless that's your thing, in which case episode 69 will be quite a treat! And of course we talk about the end of the Xbox 360 era. Now we're forced to enter the next console generation, where these infernal things can hear your voice and track your movements. Better to be monitored by Big Brother than to wallow in the past though!
Adam mentions a Penny Arcade comic that can be seen here if you so choose (which you should!)
Also, I should mention that The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek now has 50 entries! If you haven't already checked it out, you are probably a horrible human being. Just spend a couple minutes reading it to regain your cool kid status. Not too hard, really.
And an official count has Alex Clark with 21 appearances and Doug at 28! That means Doug gets the ultimate prize: he is banned from the podcast until Alex catches up!
Considering we've been podcasting since before it was cool, it's amazing how infrequently we've posted an episode in the month of July. Until now!
Adam and I both feel like mentioning that the new Ghostbusters film was pretty good. If you don't, you are sexist. That's how this works, right...? As usual, all of my complaints were criticisms that could have been as easily leveled at the original film (see, I'm learning!).
If you couldn't quite pick out the saxophone solo Adam was singing, here it is. Oh yeah, THAT song...
And of course, the patriotic meme that's been sweeping the nation:
I can hardly believe it's been a whole year since we conceived of Joe Piscopo Day. Episode 67 is a celebration of epic proportions! And I do believe we stay on the safe side of copyright infringement, though some folks in this episode disagree.
As we also mention, you are required to do something Joe Piscopo-related today in addition to listening to the podcast. Here are a few JP clips to help you fulfill your JPD obligations:
You will reach the part of episode 66 when we start playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes and you have no idea what's going on. Now you know how I felt actually PLAYING the game. I suppose it's something that a group of people could get good at, but where's the fun in that? And of course, Adam always relishes the opportunity to scream at the top of his lungs.
And just because Ted Cruz has officially dropped out of the presidential race doesn't mean you'll finally be rid of Cruz Tips. Or Cruise Tips. Or even Crews Tips! See? There's any number puns that will work. Besides, there's only so long the Ted "Theodore" "Edward" Cruz can stay away from the headlines. Just you wait!
It's Adam here again, here to fill you in on the recent happenings here in Arizona in episode 65! While we talk about quite a few things in this one, we didn't even cover everything that happened, such as how we rearranged the VHS section of a local Goodwill to be by actor, or how we climbed a mountain and met Diamond Medallion (who apparently is a lizard), or any of the adventures of Gordon, the angry dad who repeats all his questions twice ("If you wanted Pepsi, why did you ask for Coke? WHY DID YOU ASK FOR COKE?!"). But despite that, there should be plenty of stories to keep you entertained for the full hour. You'll never think about Foreigner the same way!
And as you may recall, a couple months ago we started The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek, a guide to the original and animated series. Well, if you haven't checked it out recently, you should - we've now doubled the number of entries since we debuted, and we're still going strong!
OK, back to Charlie for the next episode's post, which I'm sure will be all about bomb defusal or something.
I almost didn't see Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I'm glad I did! And the reason is episode 64. Otherwise it was a waste of time. But listen to the episode!
And with all the political happenings, you can bet episode 65 will have some Cruz Tips! If the country hasn't fallen into chaos, of course. It is unfortunate that we've lost "Lyin' Ted" as a presidential candidate, but people hate him so much he's sure to show up in the news eventually!
As promised, here's what would happen if Zack Snyder made Spider-Man.
Domingo... Carreras... Pavarotti... Gobeski... Wallace? If you think it's a stretch to mention all of these names in one breath, you haven't listened to episode 63!
Turns out Wisconsin is an open primary state, so I could vote for whomever I wanted! My complete lack of civic engagement up until election day goes unpunished, yet again. I won't say who I cast my ballot for, but I will say this: I do not approve of lizard men. Maybe it's time our old friend Nick Bronson threw his hat in the ring...
Also: Tim's Kitchen Tips. All the best ideas are already taken!
What better way to get you through the primary doldrums than with a new episode! Our timing is not a coincidence - we hope to influence all you Ohioans and Floridians out there to vote for the best candidate possible. And that candidate is... Ted Cruz? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...
In case you haven't noticed, Adam has started The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek (original series). Make sure to check it out. The show may be decades old, but the analysis is fresh as ever!
Speaking of Star Trek, here's a link to the Next Generation book Paul and Adam mention in the episode.
Also, THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE. BUT WE DID IT! We've made the Doctor Who Magazine Hat Trick. That is, our tweets have been featured three times IN PRINT, the way tweets are meant to be seen!
Even though we recorded episode 61 back in September, for some reason I didn't get around to editing this one until now. So please forgive us for the outdated Star Wars references (not that it's the first time, so I'm sure you're used to it).
So in case you were wondering, the wedding went off without a hitch. I mean there was a hitch. Kara and I got hitched.
That is to say, everything went splendidly, and now I'm in the special "Married" club! I've got a member's ring and everything!
Because it's us, it's the moment you've been waiting for: discussing the new Star Wars movie in Episode 60! Expect lots of thrills, spills, and pointing out problems in a movie we all generally agreed we liked quite a bit!
That's really all for now, but look forward to more excitement in the near future! Our goal is to release one podcast a month this year. Can we do it? (Maybe; so far so good!)
It's Christmas time once again, and what better way to celebrate than with Episode 59? Tony and Paul are back to recount a harrowing (or is it hilarious?) tale from their Arizona trip, while Doug is ready to blow everyone's minds with a parallel universe theory he heard from hip-hop/rap group Run the Jewels!
And because it wouldn't be our podcast without them, here are a collection of links of things we mention that you might interested in:
After a near-miss in Episode 54, the legendary Jason King finally makes a full-fledged appearance in Episode 58! It's another episode full of fun and nonsense that is no way dated by the fact that we're discussing the second halves of our summer or my impending wedding that's already happened. Hopefully you'll find that this episode is no turkey!
...Because today's Thanksgiving in the United States, see. I guess that joke's only funny if you read it on Thanksgiving. And are already drunk on turkey and alcohol.
Anyway, happy Thanksgiving from the Gobeski/Wallace Report!
Yes, the future has finally arrived, as reality catches up with Back to the Future Part II! How did they do? Listen to episode 57 to find out what Charlie, Adam, Alex, Doug, and Paul think! And thanks to Adam for what's our fastest turnaround from recording to release yet! (Although don't expect this to become a habit or anything.)
Of course, it's not just the future we delve into -- there are also some blasts from the past to be found on our website, in both the Prehistory part of our Musings page and a new remastered version of Episode 10, way back from 2008! Although if you still want the original versions, they're still there too; we're not George Lucas.
While I don't recall James T. Kirk or Captain Picard espousing any particular political ideology, we delve into that anyway in episode 56. While we at the Gobeski/Wallace Report consider ourselves apolitical, certain comments by presidential candidates require a response, and we were happy to dive in.
And again, here is the link to Adam's completed Dr. Who blog. Quite an accomplishment!
Please excuse the brief blog post - I'm getting married on Saturday! Of course that does not excuse all the other short entries, but I digress.
Here at the Gobeski/Wallace Report, we've found that the best podcast segments are ones that the guests have never heard of. Hence, episode 55. It's really a wonder that Paul Wilcox (one of the stars of the YouTube sensation "Hey Paul, dat pizza dough"!) agreed to show up on our podcast for a second time. Watch out, he may even be involved in an unprecedented THIRD episode in the near future.
For those of you who are concerned about whether the Emerald Ash Borer has made it to New Jersey, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you. Somewhere, Joe Piscopo is shedding a single tear.
Even the best laid plans only lead us to episode 54. Hopefully we'll get Jason to talk about "The Aristocats" very soon!
Here's the trailer for Jurassic World that I was referring to. See? Every line in the whole thing is DUMB. We could make a WAY better trailer. "Catception" anyone?
When people look back through history at the GW Report, I think episode 53 will be considered a turning point. I'm not sure if it's for better or worse, but we sure do make a lot of superficial changes to the format. Looks like Adam is editing the next episode, and has already made more progress on a Nick Bronson project, so it looks like May/June will be content heavy on the GW Report.
Here is a link to the referenced Wu-tang Clan story. Other possible titles for this episode included "Back to Basics" and "From OPD to ODB". I chuckled when I came up with the last one, but realized no one would probably get it before listening. Or after listening for that matter.
Tony and Paul are back on a very guest intensive episode. There were some technical difficulties in the middle of recording, and by that I mean THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE. Download it, you might learn a thing or two! By the by, I think Doug has been in Idaho too long, because his conspiracy theory was rather well fleshed out. Am I the only person who thinks the government has our best interest in mind all the time and that we shouldn't question their motives? Especially on public blogs!
Oh, and in case you were interested in high card flush, here.
Well I hope you have enjoyed your break since episode 50! I'm sure you have had the chance to listen to it SEVERAL times in the absence of new episodes! Personally, I took the opportunity to visit Adam and Brianne in Arizona to record yet another episode, which we bring to you now! We also got a chance to play a bunch of board games, including "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", which was a lot more fun than you would expect from a licensed game. It actually predates most of the cooperative board games that I'm familiar with, so I'd suggest you give it a try if you can find it, which you almost certainly can't.
Word on the street is that Tony Huff may be a special guest on the episode we are recording THIS VERY EVENING! [Of course we didn't record it that evening. Did you really think we would? --Editor Adam] Be on the lookout for that several months from now when I get around to editing it.
It's hard to believe that we've finally gotten to Episode 50. And what better way to celebrate than with an extra-long audio explosion of all the additional bits that didn't fit into other podcasts! Plus, we head on a road trip to Mikey Susner's wedding! You can bet hijinks ensue!
But in all honesty, it's been a great time and we're both pretty proud of the product we've put out over the years. We hope you've enjoyed listening half as much as we've enjoyed making it!
Hopefully we can go another 50 episodes (in a shorter period of time) before we have enough extra material for a tag show.
In Episode 48, we make judgements the only way we know how: quickly and with little or no information at our disposal! It's like you're sitting in the theater watching previews with us before a feature film, in that everyone is loud and it takes almost an hour.
On a serious note, we recorded this before the untimely death of Robin Williams, so make sure you listen with that in mind. To answer your question: No, Doug is not a sarcastic monster... at least not in this case.
Oh, and Martin Lawrence is 49 years young.
I feel amazing when you listen to Episode 47 because you are such a devoted fan! Don't understand why I just said that? Listen to the episode and all will be revealed! Once again, a special thanks to the folks over at Michigan Beer Show for being guests on this one.
Also, Agents of Shield Season One has now been completely reviewed! Check it out to refresh your memory for season two!
So wait, why is this Episode 49 and not Episode 47? Because we said so! Firefly was played out of order, and look how popular THAT is now!!
Also, we're as shocked as you are to discuss a movie both a) in a timely manner, and b) that's unabashedly worth seeing. But that's not all! This podcast also compares what we got on screen with some of the original comic book material! Let's see the New York Times do that!
And finally, you may have heard that Adam's been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. Which is nothing special, except this time he's blogging about it! You can check out all his insights here!
We've gotten several complaints that our podcast is not risque enough for today's discriminating audience. We've attempted to fix that in Episode 46! We hope your sensibilities are suitably offended!
Special thanks to Tony and Brandon from the Michigan Beer Show. If you only listen to two podcasts, make theirs one of them!
Oh, and here's a link to that Back to the Future blog.
Have you ever wanted to play every single NES game ever made? You may not realize this, but for every Super Mario Bros, there are about 15 Widgets. Of course, all of this is discussed in Episode 45.
Boy, Nick Bronson and Murphy sure are in trouble now. One of them might even be dead! How will this intriguing drama end?! Follow us @GWReport to see! Oh, and Doug's profile has been added to our profile page!
And we're back! We may have recorded it a while ago, but I assure you, there is nothing in it that dates Episode 44! Except maybe Christmas, weather pattern discussion, being in Michigan, the actual date being mentioned, etc...
Finally: Borderlands 2! Unfortunately, they've instituted a challege system whereby you have to find obscure "Vault Symbols" located around the map in weird locations. If not for that, we probably would have covered the same ground we have covered in 8 weeks in only one or two weeks. That and spending hours pumping fake money into fake slot machines.
The Nick Bronson story is still going strong on Twitter! What sort of mess have he and Murphy gotten themselves into now?! Follow us @GWReport!
Ever wonder how to set the perfect mood for a romantic getaway? Maybe Episode 43 will help you out! Or maybe it will get you strange looks! Either way, it is guaranteed to get you a reaction of some sort!
Y'all might have noticed that we've started a new Nick Bronson story in the format I've always felt it was made for - Twitter! You should be able to read it under the menu bar on the right, but don't forget to follow us @GWReport
Adam here, filling in for Charlie while he's off "driving" "home" for "Christmas". Speaking of Christmas, Episode 42 finds us reminiscing about Christmas meals and movies. I don't think anyone realized what number this podcast was, though, so anyone looking for Hitchhiker's Guide references will sadly be disappointed. Unless this counts right here.
Also, as you will learn (if you haven't already), we had a tweet published in the 50th Anniversary issue of Doctor Who Magazine. We've been printed, so now we've arrived. Seriously, I was pleased for days.
Finally, I've added a few reviews to our Musings section -- mainly about Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but there's also one on Doctor Who (go figure). Check it out!
Episode 41 was a great trip down memory lane, since Doug, Alex, Adam and I were all on the same Quiz Bowl team in high school. I definitely notice that I'm not as "quick on the buzzer" as I used to be, but some of that trivia is still rattling around in my brain somewhere! Unfortunately, this episode doesn't contain even one question about Eugene O'Neill. Oh well. Next time maybe.
Well it finally happened, our last podcaster finally moved out of our home state. This is the first episode with no one representing the Great Lakes State. Luckily, modern technology has advanced to the point that you may NOT BE ABLE TO TELL AT ALL! Well, unless you notice our local references going stale...
It should also be pointed out that Adam's Calendar Man achievement disappeared. And then later it reappeared. Apparently, Microsoft likes to toy with its customers occasionally.
And this episode might even be refered to as "timely" by those with a loose grip of the English language. Many thanks to Adam for editing this one! Watch out for the next episode, partially recorded in sunny Phoenix, Arizona!
Adam and I were never folks to let technical difficulties get in the way of our art, so we present to you Episode 38, which we have repeated from memory VERBATIM! Wait, what does verbatim mean again...? No, that's not right. What I meant was "with some improvising in the spots we couldn't remember."
It seems we made a few more references to photographs than we usually do, so that's them in the banner (waffle creation on the left, Brianne's text pic on the right)!
Bet you never thought we'd get back to THIS again, but Adam had some work to avoid. Turns out I'M the bottleneck in the production of new episodes. Who knew? (everyone)
Also, we've got two new writings in the Musings section. By new, I mean we wrote them years ago and are recycling them on this site. But "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you!" (Trademark of NBC, 1997).
Just in time for the Oscars, we deliver Episode 36 of the GW Report, in which we talk about all the movies that'll win big on Sunday.
Or maybe just some of them.
I guess we briefly touch on one or two.
Regardless, give it a listen! And this was apparently NOT the movie Doug was talking about. I suppose it will forever remain a mystery!
Back from yet another hiatus, here is Episode 35. In this one, we talk about how George Lucas is insanely rich.
Anyway, I DID get to see Obama at a campaign rally following this recording. And Bruce Springsteen. And Obama got re-elected. And it is past Thanksgiving. Man, I need to update everything more frequently.
And a new Birthday Comic is up! Only 5 months too late! I'm hoping to finish Adam and Brianne's wedding comic sometime before Star Wars: Episode 7 comes out.
Our kitten Maron is lucky we're all talk, or she may not have gotten out of this episode without visiting "flavor country", as Adam put it.
And for all those interested, Brianne, Adam, Doug and I have been playing Borderlands almost every week for AN ENTIRE YEAR now (I know this because Adam still occasionally gives me grief about missing our session LAST Memorial Day). We're finally on the last bit of DLC. It's been a good run. I think we may need to play something else before we give Borderlands 2 a try though...
NOTE: Adam informs me I am well aware that we are playing Marvel: Ultimate Alliance next. I suppose this is technically true.
We had intended to get the most recent episode out to warn you not to see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance in the theater. A whole two months later, here you go! Turns out no one saw the movie anyway. So mission accomplished.
I can't decide whether it would be a blessing or a curse to be Nicholas Cage. Granted, you have piles of money and can afford to make unprofitable movies on a whim, but something tells me that there's a lot of inner conflict there... much like the Ghost Rider, Johnny Blaze! Let's do a quick comparison!
Johnny Blaze : Nicholas Cage
Forced to destroy evil men : Forced to make awful movies to sustain ridiculous lifestyle
Owes soul to the devil : In 2007, owed the IRS $6.2 million (approximate value of one human soul)
Conspicuous in public places : Conspicuous in public places
NOW I see why this was his pet project.
Hey, ever wonder what those Republican debates would sound like if the candidates were out of touch with reality and just said anything to get elected? Oh wait...
Also, while we're on the subject of voting, Adam wrote a new article!
Wow, coming up with new content for every episode is exhausing. Don't you wish there were just some formula that allowed us to come up with new material in an organized way? Oh wait, there is! Just create a bunch of segments!
Despite our attempts to insinuate to Alex that he is not welcome, he has somehow wormed his way into our podcast on a regular basis. Thus, it was decided that he needed a bio of his very own. I hope this doesn't send him the wrong message...
Another year of the GW Report is coming to a close, and what do we have to show for it? Our 30th episode! What better Christmas gift is there?
Well, we've got another one for you. Though "Diplomatic Immunity" never seemed to get off the ground, I'm hoping a major studio picks up "Throwback" (discussed in Episode 29). It can't miss!
What's "Diplomatic Immunity", you ask? It's our screenplay about a crazy, off-the wall unemployed dude who wins a radio contest to become the ambassador to some unpronounceable foreign country! It was really designed as a vehicle for the endlessly versatile prop comic Carrot Top, but we'd be willing to reconsider the lead in order to be more "current". Kevin James, maybe?
We are still seeking investors for both ideas. Contact us via Twitter (@GWReport).
If the title "Goldsphincter" wasn't clear enough for you, Episode 28 is about James Bond! As an incidental update on the contents, a few of my friends and I exposed Kara to her first James Bond movie last night ("From Russia with Love"). It was kind of hard to defend the existence of the "gypsy catfight" in Act II, but I think she did appreciate it to some extent.
Also, quick excerpt from my text message archive:
CHARLIE: Will do tomorrow. Just talked to someone (other than PJ) who has listened to every episode!
ADAM: Did they like it?
CHARLIE: Yeah, I guess so.
ADAM: That was a ringing endorsement. Also, I'm beating your Xevious score on Xbox Live.
So, in summary, I have to buy Xevious on Xbox Live now. Crap.
Here's Episode 27!
Well, I'm back in Michigan for a few days, which means new podcast recordings tomorrow!! Which means new podcast episodes up half a year from now!!! Can you possibly contain your excitement!?!?!
In semi-related news, our Monday night Borderlands sessions seem to be a success. Of course, each outing begins with Adam challenging each member of our crew to a duel. This slows our progress slightly, but mostly irritates me because he ALWAYS WINS. Bouts consist of seeing how long you can run around the ring until his Berserker catches up with you. So far, I consider Brianne the biggest challenge to his dominance, since her Siren can disappear at will. But not forever, not long enough.
In the midst of a heat wave, a looming debt ceiling crisis and a heartbreaking World Cup loss, it is hard not to see our nation as one in decline. That is, until Episode 26! If this country produced us and this podcast, is there nothing it can't do? You do not need to answer that question, because it is rhetorical, and the answer is obviously "No! We are Masters of the Impossible!"
Alex "Mad Dog" Clark has once again managed to finagle his way back into our podcast (and our hearts). Just go with it, and try to ignore the fact that I just used the word "finagle".
At three months, Episode 25 doesn't even represent the longest delay between recording and delivery for an episode. Still, you may hear one or two topical things that will have you roiling in nostalgia for February '11.
There's still time to sign up for the GW Report "Fun" Run! Don't delay, failure to sign up for Early Bird registration may cost you hundreds of dollars! What, you don't want to help the poor babies? You heartless monster...
Also, have you seen Adam's most recent Birthday Comic?
In Episode 24, Adam and I prove once again that you can't hide from The GW Report. In fact, the "call-in" show was such a success, I'm not sure why we'd ever ASK anyone to be a guest again.
Summer is here, which means it's time to sign up for the third annual Gobeski/Wallace Report Fun Run this July 15th at 7:00 a.m.! Registration is open now, and is a mere $57.60 for the first mile, $47.90 for each additional mile. We won't personally be there, so just report your distance/time to us (honor system!), and the person who runs the farthest will receive their very own digital single of "The Theme from Solarbabies" and a handwritten thank you note. Winner should send a SASE to my home, or just be satisfied with the fact you are doing so much to combat Infant Restless Leg Syndrome. At least I think that's the charity we made up.
Much like Shark Week, our call in podcast is something you never asked for, but is surprisingly satisfying!
Kara and I recently saw fellow podcaster Marc Maron when he performed in Madison this weekend. I shook his hand and got a free sticker (!!!). I didn't ask him if he listened to the Report, but the look in his eyes said it all: "Keep up the good work! One day you will be the number one comedy podcast on iTunes!" I already knew that, but it was nice of him to communicate non-verbally anyway.
After almost two months of deliberation, we've finally come up with our favorite things of last year! Of course, it's been long enough that you probably already feel a wave of nostalgia for 2010, or as I like to call it, The Year of the Bieber.
*UPDATE* 2/22/11 Bieber cut his hair today! He still looks stupid, but this does put him in the running for best celeb of 2011. Now all he has to do is remain relevant for 10 months! If Katy Perry can stay in the spotlight for more than a year, I know you can too buddy!
Hey, always wanted to participate in the podcast but didn't know how? Now you're in luck! We'll take any and all questions live on Sunday March 6, 9 pm EST (that's 8 pm CST) on Skype. Our username is gwreport! This is your chance to really let us know who you are, to tell us your innermost feelings, and to have us berate you as soon as you hang up.
Once again, we're giving you the chance to play along with us! Just pause the podcast after the cast list has been given and make your own guess. Remember to hit play again when you've come up with an answer!
While The Leonard Maltin Game is not of our own invention, we certainly make it our own.
Another Musing courtesy Adam Gobeski is available!
Was Superman II a decent movie, or simply adequate? Episode 20 seeks to lay this age-old debate to rest.
Also, if you haven't visited our Musings section recently, now would be a good time. It seems Adam has been much more busy with his personal amusement than his academic progress lately. But seeing as we seem to be the benficiaries, let's not be too critical, okay?
Also, if you haven't visited our Musings section recently, now would be a good time. It seems Adam has been much more busy with his personal amusement than his academic progress lately. But seeing as we seem to be the benficiaries, let's not be too critical, okay?
Well, I guess Episode 9 is more "recently recovered from my old files" than "controversial." However, it is amusing to catch a glimpse of the world before "Jersey Shore". Ah, we were so innocent back then...
With only 24 hours until Election Day 2010, Episode 19 couldn't have come at a better time. Do you know where do YOU stand on such controversial issues as space aliens, spam email and inter-species relationships? Clearly, you can't afford NOT to listen!
Additionally, it would be an excellent time to start following us on Twitter @GWReport. Adam and I are currently embroiled in a Legal Battle of Epic Proportion. Professional standards dicatate that we not let animosity seep into our audio recordings, so Twitter is the only way to see how it turns out!
Whew, sorry to leave you on that cliffhanger! But patience is a virtue, and we here at the GW Report like to instill just a little bit of virtue in all of our listeners. Anyway, sorry to make you wait until the end of the paragraph. Here you go!
Plus, we've got some writings for you! Here, Adam recounts a most peculiar discussion overheard in the year 2007...
You can check out all of our original articles, songs etc. in the Musings section!
Hey, there you are! I've been looking everywhere. Listen, I've got this new podcast episode I need you to try out. This one is pretty good, honest. Nothing like that last one. Unless you happened to like the last one. Then I'd wager it's pretty much identical...
Minor site changes. Bonus G/W points if you can spot them! Also, our site has been visited by people from over 10 countries(!!!). That is more countries than I think both of us have been in, so word must be spreading more quickly than typhus on the Oregon Trail.
Anyway, sorry for the cliffhanger at the end. The next episode should be up in the next couple of weeks, so you won't have to wait too long...
A new episode is available! In this one, we give away of some of your rights while we amass more for ourselves. Fair? Not really. Entertaining? Almost certainly!
We've already had one visitor to the website from China! Greetings, friend! Even if you don't speak English, that's OK. The banner at the top of the screen has made it worth that long journey, I'm sure.
Adam has pointed out that it may just have been someone "bouncing a signal off China using a proxy." I'm not quite sure what that means, but I think it's just his way of saying, "Hello, and welcome to our website!"
And we are up and running! Yes, it's been quite the crazy ride these past few years, but we've finally managed to produce our own gen-u-ine website. And why not? Certainly, we not may individually warrant our own "WWW" domain, but as a team? Was there any doubt in your mind?
If there was, we can't be friends anymore. Sorry!
You'll find a link to our old podcasts somewhere in that menu thingy, as well as any new ones we churn out. You'll soon see some other things show up too, like maybe a bio-page, assorting ramblings of the Wallacine or Gobeskian nature, and perhaps someday some flashy advertisements to make you question our motives.
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Last updated: October 15, 2018