We Decide Not to Anticipate the Future in Episode 240!

4/10/2023

Good luck with those squirrels, I'm just gonna submerge myself in this smelter

We always knew Charlie could bring about plagues, but things are getting a bit ridiculous in episode 240. Disease and vermin: check. No frogs or blood yet, but we'll see what happens when he plans another Arizona trip next year.

Lot of video game links this week. New ratings on the NES Ratings Page, including some comments from Celeste Wallace! In a surprising update, Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular is still not good! And speaking of video game updates, that Monolith puzzle from Fez is... still not really explained. And to clarify (and to confirm Paul's memory), Dark Forces did get a Mac release.

In case you didn't know what Paul was talking about, here's T'ird!

We do mention a text from Doug during the episode. You may have guessed its nature from context, but on this show we are nothing if not explicit!

Disgusting yet relatable

We're Friends with a Secret Martial Arts Expert in Episode 239!

3/27/2023

Bus fights are the best fights

We finish up Merry Marvel Movie March Madness this year with a movie we all really enjoyed - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. It has still never gotten a proper release in China, and the release in the States induced a bit more COVID-related anxiety than we'd have liked. But you can view it at home now, so no more excuses!

So is Simu Liu awesome, just "okay", or a goblin who should hide in a deep cave for all eternity? Opinions abound!

Paul will be happy to know that according to this Wikipedia article, Hundun appears in the Warriors Orochi video game series as a boss and a playable character. We're sure Jessie must already know this, since she has exhaustively played all of them.

Sir Ian McKellan knows about acting, and has been very vocal about how it is to be done. It should be noted that his advice has changed over the years.

We Fall for a Long Time in Episode 238!

3/13/2023

Death from a long fall? Not a chance!

Welcome back to Merry Marvel Movie March Madness! You only get two episodes in a row this year, but we do kick off Phase 4 of the MCU with an episode about Black Widow.

Here's an article with some pictures of Black Widow's comic look through the years. And here's the Wikipedia article about the comic version of Taskmaster!

Adam mentions in the podcast that Disney announced a less packed schedule for the MCU coming up; here's the source on that. And in case you want to know what movies precisely ended up on Disney+ Premier Access back in the dark days of the pandemic, TechRadar has you covered.

Even though the lawsuit brought by Scarlett Johansson was compelling in a car-wreck sort of way, we now have the benefit of hindsight to know it was what we suspected all along - PR posturing for leverage in an eventual settlement.

And because Charlie mentioned it in the podcast, and we'll never pass up an opportunity to reuse this gif:

We Wear Some Really Cool Outfits in Episode 237!

2/27/2023

Check out my new smart watch, tiny pet!

Our Sci-Fi Shuffle series gets a little weird when we talk about Fantastic Planet. But sci-fi is often weird! We mean, it's not always NIGHTMARE-INDUCING, Cronenberg weird like this is. Well, except when it's actually Cronenberg. But we digress.

Kevin mentioned an illustrated fairy tale video called "The Fool and the Flying Ship", which you can actually watch on the Internet Archive! It's narrated by Robin Williams, so check it out! And here's some info on that anime short film Paul mentioned. It sounds as weird as promised!

Would YOU like to read an essay from a film historian that might deepen your appreciation for this movie? Well then Criterion has you covered!

And we regret to inform you that composer Alain Goraguer has passed away since the recording of this episode.

We May Have Had an AI Generate Our Topics in Episode 236!

2/13/2023

Exactly the sort of thing an AI would predict we need right now

In previous episodes we dabbled in AI-based art, but we really get into the heart of the matter in episode 236. Of course, the real Turing test for a podcast-generating AI would be to see if it knew to put up the blog post 1-2 days late to imitate Charlie. If it's on time, you know the show has been taken over by machines!

ChatGPT received a "mediocre" score on that law exam. Next up: seeing if it can land a job in a terrible market for law grads, or if it will be crushed under the weight of crippling debt (we're hoping for the latter)!

CNET has found that writing retractions is still cheaper than paying a human to write.

The WotC Dungeons & Dragons OGL debacle was over almost as soon as it started. And smaller businesses reap the rewards! What's not to love?

Yes, we watched The Simpsons obsessively, and no reference can sneak by us.

Here's the NYT article about Ke Huy Quan that Adam references in the podcast. And go see Everything Everywhere All at Once in theaters, while you still can!

The Big New Yorker is back! Can it possibly live up to our childhood sensory memories? We're almost scared to try it, for fear of being disappointed. But you know who isn't afraid? Paul Wilcox! Much like a kaiju ravaging the East Coast, he's probably eaten several Big New Yorkers by now and there are no signs of his rampage dissipating!

We Lose All Sense of Linear Time in Episode 235!

1/30/2023

Not to be confused with "Hugh Mann"

Installment 2 of our Sci-Fi Shuffle has us hugging our loved ones in between bouts of intense philosophizing with a discussion of the 2016 film Arrival.

Here are a couple links regarding the Sanskrit word for war, in case you wanted to dive deeper into that topic. And although we're reliably told her Mandarin pronunciation isn't really up to par, you can at least learn just what Louise actually said to General Shang.

As you may remember from the previous Sci-Fi Shuffle episode, Adam had a running bit where he commented that our sister podcast, Cinematic Respect, was no longer accessible on the internet. He tried to continue that joke here, but Charlie thwarted him by actually fixing the website. So let's all celebrate by listening to an episode about another Denis Villeneuve SF film, 2017's Blade Runner 2049.

It's once again time for "Philosophy Corner"! Please do the required reading on causal loops, eternal recurrence/return, and the Aboriginal concept of time.

Kevin mentions Dr. Manhattan without providing context, but that's what this blog is for! In case you don't know, Dr. Manhattan is a character from the seminal comic book "Watchmen"; here's a Reddit thread briefly explaining how he perceives time.

And we didn't learn about this until after we recorded the episode, but if you've ever complained about the super dark scenes in Game of Thrones, it seems you have Arrival to thank for that.

Doug Eats Things that Only Sound Like Food in Episode 234!

1/16/2023

Humanity strives to make the inedible edible once again

We talked a lot about urinal cakes in episode 234, but most of it got cut. And yet there's so much we still left in! Mostly we recounted Christmas gifts and ran taste tests though. 'Tis the season!

And those cake links, for the curious.

Paul references the New Year's resolution game from "Triple Click" as a way to potentially get us to punish each other with our idiosyncratic tastes. But we didn't bite! Only passive-aggressive suggestions for these guys!

It's unlikely Salt Bae was punished for his unauthorized access to the World Cup. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. Better yet, don't ask for either!

Here's the links to borderline intuitive bacon-infused vodka, Lay's limited edition vodka, and what I like to call "The REAL Prisoner's Dilemma".

We Travel Beyond the Infinite in Episode 233!

1/2/2023

Nothing humans love more than classical art and floor-inset lighting, right?

A new year means it's time for a new conceit: episode 233 is the first in our series "Sci-Fi Shuffle", beginning with a special double-length episode all about 2001: A Space Odyssey. Because who doesn't love more movies? But we take a more holistic approach than our Merry Marvel Movie March. There's just two rules: it has to be sci-fi, and the next person chooses whatever sci-fi movie they want! So we'll do the best, and presumably the worst, movies you could hope for. Stay tuned, whenever our episode schedule permits!

Read the most recent Sight and Sound poll for context on this episode, and all those Jeanne Dielman references from previous episodes.

While we couldn't remember the exact details of the 2001 re-release, we can certainly post about it here.

If you'd care to read the original "Sentinel of Eternity" that 2001 is loosely based on, the Internet archive has you covered.

Unmanned pre-Apollo US lunar missions include: the Ranger program, the Lunar Orbiter program, and the Surveyor program.

And finally, Merzbow, Paul's favorite noise maker.

Santa is Duped Again in Episode 232!

12/19/2022

New Year's Resolution: No more AI generated images as the blog image

Strange things are afoot at the North Pole in episode 232. Don't ask us how we acquired this audio; we never reveal our sources! But in the fight between immortals and billionaires, it's hard to really root for either side. To quote the Who (like we do every Christmas): "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss".

And we are happy to announce Phase V (5) of the GW Report (Christmas Edition), featuring the following films:

• San-two Claus is Coming to Town
• Rude Elf the Red-Faced Reindeer
• Wolfsmarine Saves Christmas
• San-two v. Santuna: Dawn of Christmas
• The Santuna Clause
• Spirited Away

We Get Catfished by Food Network Stars in Episode 231!

12/5/2022

I said HOLD the eyeballs!

It's the holidays again, and that gives us an idea: let's scam Kohl's in episode 231! Sure, the return policies are byzantine to say the least, but soon we'll be Kohl's Cash Kings! Just be prepared to stand in the customer service line for eons.

I want (an oral history of the Mary Kate and Ashley song about) pizza! But why don't you slow that song down for us, Internet?.

Correction to the podcast: The actor Kier Dullea's last name is pronounced du-LEI ([dʊ.'leɪ], if you're an IPA fan). We regret the error, and apologize profusely.

We Go Way Too Deep Into the Munizverse in Episode 230!

11/21/2022

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Our favorite Frankie is just as surprised as us that he wound up on episode 230. We guess it's just our shared history that makes him feel obligated to appear on our show, despite becoming the world's most eccentric billionaire/villain/oil baron. And we don't take the label "most eccentric billionaire" lightly, especially not these days!

You might have originally been thinking Frankie was referring to the teletransportation paradox, but he wasn't! He probably meant The Transporter Paradox, whereby Jason Statham transports humans between destinations so quickly, they appear to arrive at their destination BEFORE they even left! Maybe we'll have to ask Mr. Statham himself about it on a future episode? We're sure Frankie can connect us!

You understood our World on a Wire reference because of course you have listened to every single one of our episodes, including episode 173.

We Lift Our Way Out of Trouble in Episode 229!

11/7/2022

An unstoppable horny force meets an immovable randy object

The Merry Marvel Movie March is back, baby... with a movie we initially decided to skip! That's right, it's time for that appendix to the March that we always threatened you with, and we kick it off with 1985's Red Sonja. But don't worry, it's right back to the regular MMMM for the next installment, so you'll have perhaps YEARS to wait for the next Appendix entry!

No, Kevin was not crazy: that character was pretty amped up about swordfighting.

Cinco has a MIDI Organizer, and a B'ougar, products that are almost as in-demand as cheese liqueur.

We Taste Everything in Episode 228!

10/24/2022

Who knows how deep the chip hole goes?

Despite the title and description of episode 228, this is primarily an episode where we do taste tests. So why do we talk so much about churros, and yet we've never eaten a churro on the podcast? Dare we consider a segment called "Churro with Charlie"? It's too well named to not exist!

Now you too can learn about Dewitt's best-loved tortilla-based school lunch item!

And behold: (mostly AI-generated) Churro Art!

We Get Jacked For Real in Episode 227!

10/10/2022

I've got one word for you... snowjob!

All of our mitigating forces (a.k.a guests) are absent in episode 227. Of course that means that the podcast format has completely changed. We're rebranding as Frasier vs Frasier, a podcast comparing episodes of the classic TV sitcom Frasier against the new reboot, specifically through the lens of Kelsey Grammar's dubious political views. (We're assuming this was Tony's "monkey's paw" wish.)

Wow, "Gobob vs Snowjob" was over 11 years ago! Now that's a callback!

Since the days of the TV show Lost, J.J. Abrams has been well known for his surprising, yet baffling reveals. Here's his most recent!

Even Charlie is beginning to regret his adoption of streaming over physical media after the most recent apocalyptic event in entertainment. Oh well, movies and TV were great while they lasted, but 100+ years was a pretty good run!

We Celebrate a Less Popular Milestone in Episode 225!

9/26/2022

And we celebrate with a bucket of spaghetti, of course

A lot has changed in 15 years, but we just keep the episodes coming, as episode 225 proves! (Wait, 15×15=225...is THAT why Adam insisted the 15th anniversary episode be #225?) Of course tonight, we will all be eating our own individual buckets of spaghetti in honor of the occasion. Wait, there's a restaurant that already sells that? Guess we won't have to get out the hose to spray down our own Lowe's buckets!

The Ypsilanti Water Tower continues to fascinate and attract all sorts of curious tourists. Or so we're told!

The Count: Censored. Now you are aware.

If you listened to the episode, you know about Terriers, Andy Barker, P.I., and the elusive phenomenon that is Ed. Hollywood is officially on notice that we want all of these shows BACK for more seasons, regardless of talent availability! You must cater to our specific interests! [Note to Hollywood: we'll also settle for an arrangement that lets us see Ed again.]

We Eat Without Shame in Episode 226!

9/12/2022

Bottoms up

Episode 226 coins the term "freedom meal", a term we can't believe didn't already exist. What's YOUR freedom meal? No judgement! We'll make sure to relate the results on the show at some point, anonymously if requested.

(And no, you didn't miss episode 225; Adam just insisted that this be episode 226, even though it's the one after 224. I don't understand either, but presumably he'll one day make it clear to us why this was so important to him.)

We also refuse to judge Bob Odenkirk. In fact, we give him the Jeremiah Johnson nod of approval.

This episode we learned about a musical sequence from Blues Brothers 2000 and secret character names in Interstellar and the Star Wars universe. Plus the origins of...Jizz music. Truly an enlightening episode!

We Get a Brief Respite in Episode 224!

8/29/2022

A humble, yet murderous beginning

Now that we've progressed in earnest through a large chunk of the Merry Marvel Movie March so far, we decided to take stock in episode 224. We drop the veil slightly because we've reached such a huge milestone, but not enough that Charlie will admit he likes shields, or that Doug will admit that any opinion he's ever had was wrong.

Doug compiled some stats, which was super awesome of him! Some of note:

• Highest Rated Film: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Avg score: 10/10)
• Lowest Rated Film: Fant4stic (Avg score: 2.2/10)
• Average Rating (for those present for over half the March): Adam (7.21), Charlie (6.76), Doug (7.15), Paul (7.48), Tony (7.49)

As it turns out, not every celebrity keeps up with every meme adjacent to work they participated in. We know, disappointing isn't it?

We Spend an Unexpected Amount of Time Watching Buffy in Episode 223!

8/15/2022

Charlie's nightmare - being encased in a shield

What we can't really call "Phase 1" of our Merry Marvel Movie March draws to a close (maybe "Merry Marvel Movie March Module 1" instead?), as we review The New Mutants, a film that somehow got a 2020 theatrical release, despite, y'know, everything.

The end of this first part of the March means we'll be taking a short break while Phase 4 of the MCU finishes up in November (so that we can sagely and holistically look at all the Phase 4 movies and go, "Yeah, they weren't really building to anything, were they?"), but that doesn't mean we won't go back and start our Merry Marvel Movie March Addendum. Or maybe we won't! Depends how many "special guests" show up while Paul is in the bathroom.

You may be shocked to learn that we've got some more taste tests for you in this episode, so you should make sure to read the reference material. Of course there are required readings for ephemeral pop flavors; we take these things very seriously here at GWR.

We Put Another Clip Show "2"-gether for Episode 222!

8/2/2022

Not this kind of clip; sorry, paperclip fans, maybe next time

We've got "2" many "2"-riffic clips "2" give you here on "2"-sday, August "2", "2"0"2""2" in episode 222! It's "2"-tally "2"-mendous and not at all "2" labored a pun (even if we did delay it a day to add a couple extra 2s)! And yet, perhaps not our most two-centric episode? That's what happens when you set the bar so high!

Some quick hits for you to help explain bits of the episode, as always:

• Because you may have long since forgotten Sassy Justice was a thing.
• The appropriate meme for when Doug starts explaining the blockchain.
• Sure, now we understand Donald McDonald, thanks to this link, but why not – and hear us out – Dennis McDonald?
• Remember the last time we discussed Carl Paladino? It's ok to say no, it was almost 12 years ago. Yet somehow He's Back! A Dinosaur's Story. (Sorry Paul, at least we got this joke in here, even if nowhere else.)

We Create Elaborate Illusions in Episode 221!

7/18/2022

Unstable but stylish

Installment 70 of our Merry Marvel Movie March is a review of Spider-Man: Far From Home, the final pre-COVID Marvel release. Even though we still have a lot of questions about "The Blip" (including what happened to people who were in airplanes when they reappeared...), this movie doesn't seem to be too interested in that. Which is OK! Killer drones and European sightseeing is more than enough for us!

Will Charlie hate S.W.O.R.D. as much as he hates S.H.I.E.L.D.? It remains to be seen. But it seems almost impossible at this point. (And was it even S.W.O.R.D. in the movie? Adam thought so, but the internet disagrees!)

While Doug did throw some updated references into the podcast that were eventually cut ("Zendaya is Meechee"), the ones that stay in may need some explanatory links for all the Zoomers out there. Case in point.

It Just Takes Some Time in Episode 220!

7/4/2022

Shenaniganza sneaks up on us again

Even though Charlie roundly refused to participate, this year's Shenaniganza went off without a hitch, as we discuss in episode 220. Well, actually there were more hitches than usual. But, hey, three out of four people being COVID-free ain't bad (when compared to the national average).

The gang regrets forgetting to mention one of the most enduring bits, which involved Paul moving into Adam's library full-time and declaring squatters' rights. I guess he liked it in there? As with most things Shenaniganza, it was a hilarious bit that you probably had to be present for in order to appreciate.

It's undeniably Morbin' Time. We'd discuss it more, but we'll wait for more developments leading to our Merry Marvel Movie March review.

Century eggs require patience that we don't really possess. Better to just drink all the available Mountain Dew flavors. Or in Doug's case, buy them and forget about them.

The board game Evolution has that Fat Tissue card which seemed to get Paul all riled up. And who can blame him!

And finally, AI's best attempt at creating Tony and Paul's bowling alley:

The bowling alley where you're sure to make a splash!

We Commit the Crime of Strained Wordplay in Episode 219!!

6/21/2022

Arguably better than Charlie's Photoshop ability

Just when you think there isn't enough Joe Piscopo-related material for an entire episode, you reach back a few years into the crime blotter and pull out episode 219. Will our latest Piscopo Day celebrity be a Piscopony or a Piscobrony this year? Much like seasoned interviewer Tom Snyder, you'll just have to listen.

Oh yeah, in case you don't remember (or never knew) who Tom Snyder, Linda Ellerbee and Edwin Newman are, we've got you covered. Be warned: this information will only be important to know for this one episode, but it may take up space in your brain forever. Decide if it's worth it before clicking the links!

While the baby name Arliss did enjoy a slight uptick in the '90s associated with the TV show (presumably), it looks like it's once again making a comeback. Of course, if you don't use dollar signs for S's then you've named your child after the character, not the show, so someone will have to analyze that data to determine the true Arli$$ bump. Another fun fact: the title of the show is spelled wrong on the official HBO website.

We Air Our Clearly Wrong Opinions in Episode 218!

6/6/2022

It's whatever flavor you want it to be

Finally, another episode with Doug as the only guest! And no one came with topics! But as usual, everything works out just fine in episode 218.

Star Trek: The Next Generation actually premiered when Adam was 5 years old, not 4. So please, STOP SENDING CORRECTIONS! Our email box is nearly full on this one and if you keep sending them, we will never get other potentially critical corrections to the podcast!

Jubilee Jumbles are perhaps the most delightfully named cookie. Well, except for Caramel deLites.

Turns out that even if you DO live in the Midwest, you probably don't know what Blue Moon ice cream really is.

And here's that Lightyear meme Doug was talking about.

We Press the Red Button Again in Episode 217!

5/23/2022

Aliens LOVE dance clubs circa 2003

It's hard to believe we're reviewing our *fourth* Men in Black movie in installment 69 of our Merry Marvel Movie March: Men in Black: International. For a franchise that has the whole universe open for exploration, it's a little weird to have so much centered in, say, Paris. [Hey, it's MiB: International, not Interplanetary, Interstellar, or Intergalactic. –Editor Adam] Still, as a movie that in part pays homage to James Bond, it would perhaps be uncharacteristic to travel to space (Moonraker notwithstanding).

As bizarre as a 21 Jump Street/Men in Black crossover sounds, it would likely have been much more entertaining than what we got. And if nothing else, maybe it would have been a smoother production than the finished product. [On the other hand, it's not like Solo was a cakewalk with the Lord and Miller team. –Adam again]

Paul knows Cool as Ice, and that's nice. During the episode, Charlie got it confused with Ninja Rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (as one does).

We Realize Not Everything Should Be Flamin' Hot in Episode 216!

5/9/2022

This man is NOT to be trusted!

Bad things are happening in the world, and we touch on almost all of them in episode 216. Elon Musk buying Twitter, unusual Dew flavors, and apparently a new strain of toilet-destroying COVID would be enough to turn us into ranting doomsday preppers, but... those MAGICIANS. We finally get it; the end IS nigh. Who knew?

Oh yeah, Baja Blast is tropical lime. Officially. And also not as likely to cause death as non-blue raspberry flavors.

Doug found the best description of Charlie's bad texting habits in comic/tweet form. And while we're on the subject of tweets, here's the Mert doctrine one Doug mentions in the episode.

Apparently We Can Just Go to Space in Episode 215!

4/25/2022

What do you think of our space-worthy Blackbird? It's just something we whipped up in our spare time, no big deal

Unlike the actors in Dark Phoenix, we try not to sound bored in the 68th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March, a.k.a. episode 215. To be fair, our conversation is much more entertaining than the movie itself. But at least we have a better X-Men film to look forward to with... *voice raises an octave* New Mutants?

Adam wasn't lying, Simon Kinberg did own the failure of the movie. Well, sort of. But hey, if he's happy with it then at least somebody is, right?

The Nerdist thinks the best adaptation of the Dark Phoenix story happened in the 90s cartoon, partly because the show also took the time to separately adapt the Phoenix Saga rather than shoehorn it into the first 20 minutes of a Dark Phoenix movie. We wish we could agree or disagree, but, alas, the March doesn't take TV episodes into consideration, no matter how much Disney+ might try to convince us otherwise.

And here's your chance to learn about the rich history of the D'bari race that the movie just completely ignored!

We Order Our Drinks Without Ice in Episode 214!

4/11/2022

No I will NOT wear a jacket!

Whether or not we have a set agenda for a recording, we always come up with some fun topics, and episode 214 is no exception. Be on the lookout for our upcoming sketch comedy show based only on casual dining situations, streaming exclusively on Seeso!

Paul talks about the show Max X, while we discuss a couple of very specific hard candies.

Here's the "14 beers at Chili's" meme, which is also the blog photo! And as long as we're talking casual dining, here's all the info you probably want about Kewpee Burger. And as long as we're talking about memes, don't (ever) forget about Cheezburger.com.

Finally, here's the explanation of the duplicate Ben Folds songs, as well as YouTube links to Bitch Went Nuts and its "fake" counterpart Bitch Went Nutz.

We Try Not to Break Time in Episode 213!

3/28/2022

So much IP, it literally won't fit in the frame!

Even though Avengers: Endgame seems like a natural place to end the MCU portion of our Merry Marvel Movie March, we all know better by now. It's a burden that our children and our children's children will have to bear as well, as eventually every Marvel character ever introduced will have their own movie or Disney+ show. Thus, we look forward to the inevitable Obnoxio the Clown film.

Disney loves nothing more than to pat itself on the back while maintaining the bottom line. Case in point.

Turns out Kevin Feige is a Star Trek fan. This was a surprise to exactly no one.

We assume you are some type of nerd if you are listening to our podcast, but you may be an engineering nerd and not even know it. Behold: Practical Engineering!

And no, your eyes didn't deceive you: that was indeed Howard the Duck in the background during the climactic battle.

We Seemingly Beat Up Old Ladies in Episode 212!

3/14/2022

Example number 3,251 demonstrating why civilians in the Marvel universe should avoid mass transit

Installment 66 of our Merry Marvel Movie March brings us to the eminently enjoyable 2019 film Captain Marvel. We're nearing the end of Phase 3 of the MCU, so hang tight as we continue Merry Marvel Movie March Madness into our next episode this month!

In case you've forgotten Boss Nass, he's the guy who vigorously shakes his head back and forth, presumably spraying slobber on everyone in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. That's how you remember him too, right?

Carol Danvers smashing into the Blockbuster store is indeed the first scene in the trailer for Captain Marvel.

We had some arguments offline about whether Sam Jackson's fingerprint-tape trick would actually work or not as shown. But we can all agree that it works comedically, so we're glad it was successful!

Unicorn Store was one of those movies that just showed up on Netflix and then no one really talked about again. Except for Brianne! And it is a solid, very fun movie, so check it out!

We Talk About Everything in Episode 211!

2/28/2022

I'm very serious... about music!

Happy Super Tuesday! That's what we were calling 2/2/22, right? We mean, we've got a whole episode about it so it better not mean anything else!

There is evidence that Doug may have been right in his pronunciation of the "Tal" in Tal Bachman. But Adam was only willing to dive down the rabbit hole so far for answers, so we still rate this as "Inconclusive".

If you're someone who wants your music library to reflect, we dunno, music you actually want to listen to? You can remove "Songs of Innocence" from your iTunes account, but it may involve talking to an actual person. Of course, as we determined in the episode, U2 fans are so lazy they wouldn't go to the trouble!

And as we also discuss in the episode, the Nintendo eShop for Wii U and 3DS is closing. Plan (and spend) accordingly! Also worth noting that it turns out Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice does in fact have DLC; you need to start the game before the option to purchase it shows up on the main menu, however.

We Take a Strong Stance Against Avunculicide in Episode 210!

2/14/2022

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Happy Valentine's Day! We celebrate with the latest installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March, talking about 2018's Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse! It's the most romantic animated movie in our March yet!

Paul mentions Red Notice, a Netflix original movie that's somehow the most popular movie of all time – at least if you're willing to put complete faith in Netflix's self-reporting of viewing numbers. But Adam did catch his father-in-law watching it, so who knows!

And speaking of passing mentions, Adam namedrops Kirby Krackle, which is the term for those black dots that show up in both comics and in this movie. There's some history here if you want to learn more.

Sorry, other Marvel songs, Spidey-Bells has stolen our hearts (well, except for Paul, who remains true to "Home of the Brave" from the 1990 Captain America movie). It's part of A Very Spidey Christmas, which you can listen to by clicking that link right there. Because nothing says Valentine's Day like parodies of Christmas songs played out of season!

We Get Submerged in Oil in Episode 209!

1/31/2022

Oil means Quality

Episode 209 is sure to be looked back upon as the beginning of the end of reality as we know it. Of course, that's to be expected whenever we talk to our favorite celebrity oil/tech baron!

On the subject of candy, the HersheyLand website will answer all your questions, creepy or otherwise. And here's a piece on the green M&M, because it's important that people have vocal opinions about everything all the time.

DaBaby's homophobic comments: a subject on which everyone also has an opinion, but probably more worth discussing.

We're pretty sure Food Court does not exist, and that this IMDb entry is simply a placeholder to keep others from using the name. But too bad, the name has been used appropriately anyway to entertaining effect.

And a reminder that "Nightman" is sometimes the actual answer.

We Practice Proper Dental Hygiene in Episode 208!

1/17/2022

The best way to say "I love you". And why not say it 50 times?

Everyone knows that Christmas Day begins on December 25 each year. But did you know that it doesn't end until Adam and Charlie release an episode recounting their gifts? Just be glad that it lasted less than a month this year!

We didn't Photoshop that blog photo: you can actually buy those Jimmy Fallon cards online. Limit 50 per credit card (more than that and the purchase will be flagged as suspicious by the credit card company).

Even if Bill Knapp's is gone as a restaurant, the Bill Knapp's name lives on as an outlet bakery in Saline, MI. Oh, and maybe the name lives on, like, through the actual family too. That's always a possibility.

Dan Hess has a tajine, which means he's inviting us all over for dinner, we presume. And maybe after we can play a board game that isn't Resident Evil 2.

Mickey Mouse tried to commit suicide back in the 30's, as we're pretty sure we've mentioned before. We're glad he didn't though! Just think of all the IP we would have been robbed of over the years!

We Pile Up Bodies and Heads in Episode 207

1/3/2022

Yes, I agree that motorcycles are cool but – and I'm just spitballing here – maybe just swim away?

It's fair to say that the next movie in our Merry Marvel Movie March is refreshingly different from the MCU fare that we've been watching recently – but that's not necessarily a good thing. We're of course talking about 2018's Venom in episode 207. It's the most difficult movie for us to rate so far!

Adam was not joking: SPUMC was a real thing. It still is, we suppose, since ideas never really die, they just get renamed.

How do you pronounce "symbiote"? Leave it to the cast of Venom to muddy the waters.

Though Charles Rocket's career would lead you to believe that there is no salvation after dropping an F-bomb on Saturday Night Live, Jenny Slate has had reasonable success since her slip-up. And there is a long, storied history of the word's use on the show, with varying punitive action taken. It may be a few centuries before we have enough data to say anything definitive. Of course, by then, SNL will be written by robots, for robots, and occasionally hosted by Alec Baldwin.

Time for Christmas Stuff in Episode 8!

12/20/2021

At a farmer's market near you, sometimes

[Editor's note: As is tradition here at the Gobeski/Wallace Report, we've taken the holiday season off from podcasting. Instead, we bring you an episode from a different podcast -- and this time Charlie was a guest star on it! We'll let them take it from here...]

Hi fellow Butt Enthusiasts! They said it could never happen, but here we are with episode 8 of Butt Stuff and we still haven't been canceled. Lance says the "wake up police" are always trying to do this, but I guess our ratings are good enough for now!

Here is a link defining Christmas in case you are not familiar with the holiday. This is another thing Lance is always saying they are trying to cancel, but we hope that spreading the word about this magical day will raise awareness and understanding!

Also I don't think you can find our Butt Logs via the web from Gogle. Here is (genuinely) the first search result for "butt logs" which discusses butt quality, butt rot, and butt swell (which is considered a defect, though I've always been a fan).

And a special thanks to the LumberJaXXX establishment and eatery, although I cannot find that internet website either. But here is the song they play every night there though.

We Get So Large We Fall Asleep in Episode 205!

12/6/2021

A formative day for Daniel Gooobler

It's been almost one year since we reviewed Ant-Man for our Merry Marvel Movie March, so is it coincidence that episode 205 is a review of Ant-Man and the Wasp? We dare you to disprove it!

Paul Rudd is officially People's Sexiest Man Alive. It was announced on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" in two segments, which makes it all the more sexy.

We don't make comments about seemingly unrelated Marvel characters during the podcast without proper reference material. To that end, read about Sentry.

The Quantum Realm works because... it just does. It may be based on the Microverse, which explains some things but not others. Man, if Charlie can "just go with it", why are you asking questions anyway??

If you're interested in seeing the completely digital end-credit sequence from Ant-Man and the Wasp again, you can do so here.

We Never Shower for Work Again in Episode 204!

11/22/2021

Are we watching a presentation about an octopus, or is an octopus watching a presentation about us...?

Though we know that talking about Overlord Zuck only increases his power, we can't resist discussing the metaverse in episode 204. So what is the metaverse? Don't think of it as a way to distract from how terrible Facebook is, think of it as whatever your heart desires! Which in our case is a virtual interactive space where avatars can listen to cassette tapes of our podcast episodes. (Most can be contained on one double-sided cassette!)

It's fun to imagine Zucker-borg as a poorly programmed android, or perhaps a lizard person. However, we think it's even MORE fun when you realize he's just the most awkward human being in the world.

Oh yeah, this job posting was real. We like to imagine an "unplanned visit" by your boss as one where they wander blindly into your home by accident, and profusely apologize for the inconvenience.

We Introduce and Murder Many Cool Characters in Episode 203!

11/9/2021

Stockholm Syndrome that warms the heart

We're making up lost ground by reviewing two movies (sorta...?) in this episode of our Merry Marvel Movie March with episode 203, a review of both Deadpool 2 and Once Upon a Deadpool! As Adam mentions, 2018 is our most Marvel filled year on The March yet, and the pandemic doesn't seem to be preventing Disney from releasing movies anymore. Or people from seeing them for that matter! Onward! [That's a Pixar pandemic release, Charlie, not an MCU one. -Adam]

When Adam mentions movie grosses in the episode, he's referring to worldwide grosses (as opposed to domestic, which you can look up yourself here).

Tragically, no supercut of all the Fred Savage scenes from Once Upon a Deadpool is available on YouTube that we can find. But here at least is the part where he talks about Cable!

And here's that Stan Lee scene which doesn't appear on the disc release of Once Upon a Deadpool for whatever reason.

We Decide "First Plan, Best Plan" In Episode 202!

10/25/2021

Now I simply have to pat my head and rub my belly simultaneously and my plan will be complete!

Can you believe we're finally here? Our Merry Marvel Movie March has made it to installment 61, 2018's Avengers: Infinity War!

To all those Hawkeye stans out there: you're not alone.

Adam pointed out after the episode recording that maybe the reason Dr. Strange doesn't use his portals to kill or transport Thanos is because that technique didn't result in a future where the Avengers won. But by logical extension, that argument can be used for anything Dr. Strange does up until the eventual "win" in Endgame. Cut to:

*DR. STRANGE steals donut*
TONY STARK: Hey, I was eating that!
STRANGE: But Tony, this is the only way we can win!
TONY: And I thought you got Snapped!
STRANGE: Uh no, I survived, this definitely isn't me abusing the Time Stone by travelling back in time to get free donuts.

We Spot a Bald Eagle in Episode 201!

10/11/2021

An American bald eagle

Well, episode 200 has come and gone, so surely we must be out of things to talk about. Wrong! Episode 201 was recorded effortlessly, and we only briefly resort to talking about Dr. Phil.

Menopause: The Musical is a real thing, even though it seemed like Tony was making it up at the time.

While it seems like no one could ever possibly forget that Facebook was down for a whole 6 hours, we leave this here for posterity.

Cameo continues to pay comedic dividends, to wit: The Boss Baby.

We Celebrate 200 Episodes with Academic Rigor!

9/27/2021

Ambiguous at best, misleading at worst

Finally, our obsessions are validated in episode 200, now that we know we're not the only ones who seek deeper meaning via The Boss Baby. It's a real conference, in the way that anything is real once it's posted on the internet. We suppose the important question is how we found out about this at all... probably that Google alert for "boss baby discourse".

More Boss Baby discussion, and rankings!

You can see our old Star Wars rankings here. You can adjust them in your head by switching the positions of 4 and 8 for Charlie, and putting 9 at the bottom of the list for everyone.

While a Gobeski/Wallace Report/Fortnite crossover event would be baffling, it would likely not be as cringe-inducing or mismatched in spirit as Fortnite's MLK "March Through Time" event.

And speaking of marches, we've added a few new ones!

We Swing Around Microphones and Endanger Our Audience in Episode 199!

9/13/2021

A famous comedian, obviously

Those of you waiting for another Merry Marvel Movie March episode will have to wait a tiny bit. Due to scheduling issues, episode 199 is mostly about the 2021 Sparks musical Annette.

So... that scene. Apparently we weren't the only ones talking about it!

"Million Dollar Quartet" is indeed a real musical that Adam is really in! Pure statistics ensures that you are more likely to enjoy it more than the movie Annette. In fact, it reportedly has NO PUPPET BABIES WHATSOEVER! Plus, Adam sings and plays guitar, so it's also got that going for it as well!

We Bring Out the Bits in Episode 198!

8/30/2021

Proving, once again, that inspiration is everywhere!

It's been a full 98 episodes [it's only been 81 episodes; apparently someone's forgotten Blade: Trinity... –Adam], but we're finally back together to record a podcast in person! Shenaniwilliamstowntownshipza was everything the title implies: hilarious, exhilarating, within the border of Williamstown Township... a perfect recipe for fun! But not a perfect recipe for potato chips, as usual.

Brianne talks a little bit about The Stuff. So does our buddy Nathan Rabin, if you want to dive deeper!

Paul wants to express officially that he is pro-vax, and Adam wants to clarify that his vaccine card is not forged. They both want to leave open the possibility that some day they can host Jeopardy!, in case someone decides to listen to every episode of this podcast.

Wait... this just in! Paul got a mini-fridge! Tony knew someone who was giving theirs away and... well that's pretty much the whole story. It remains to be seen how far Paul is willing to go to fully utilize it, though we do approve of Doug's idea to fit the mini-fridge inside a regular fridge (you know, for improved efficiency).

We Invite the CIA into Our Home in Episode 197!

8/16/2021

OK, yep, this also works for us.

Finally, the Merry Marvel Movie March is up to 2018's Black Panther, a movie that Tony waited to watch specifically for this occasion! Although we are admittedly a bunch of white dudes watching this movie more than 3 years after it was first released, we hope that our commentary isn't completely irrelevant. But even if it is, that's never stopped us before!

Kevin mentioned a Luke Cage comic that seemed questionable. You can view those two panels here.

We had to cut it for time, but we did discuss the Oscar-nominated song "All the Stars" as part of our Merry Marvel Movie March Song-Off. We all agreed we enjoyed it, but it seems nothing will replace "Home of the Brave" at the top of the Marvel charts for Paul.

When rich corporations fight against rich celebrities, we side with... celebrities, we guess? Because they have less money? Because they're not necessarily evil by design? While the results of this suit may have larger (and relevant) implications for the movie industry, we'll reserve our tears for Colin Jost and Colin Jost only (that poor, poor, exceedingly lucky man).

We Banish an AI into Orbit in Episode 196!

8/2/2021

Good morning, Frankie.

While we discuss the merits of "may" vs "might" in the actual episode, we don't think it's a spoiler to reveal that we DID have a special guest on the podcast this time around. He's a billionaire, very into space travel, and is responsible for technology that will have an outsized impact on the Earth's future environment – but it's not the one you're thinking of. (Unless you were thinking of a certain oil magnate/friend of the podcast, in which case, congratulations, it IS the one you're thinking of!)

OK, Probability of Precipitation (PoP) is actually kinda difficult to pin down, in part because meteorologists just don't think it matters that much! We think it's a ploy by Big Umbrella to confuse the public into living life in fear of rain.

We're here to remind you, again, that David Lynch likes the weather.

Here's a fidget cube. It's unlikely that it will open up a portal to a torture dimension à la Hellraiser, but Charlie still wants nothing to do with it!

We Unleash the Balrog Surtur in Episode 195!

7/19/2021

OK, yep, this look works for us

Who knew that destroying a whole world could be this much fun? Taika Waititi, that's who! We're of course referring to 2017's Thor: Ragnarok, which we reviewed for the 59th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March.

AMC may not be doing so well, even with much better box office numbers now that some folks are going back to the movies. And Disney/Marvel is paving the way! [Late-breaking edit: Well, maybe; this weekend's box office reports include some rather telling omissions regarding Black Widow, which may therefore point in the other direction. AMC has their fingers crossed!]

Some background on World War Hulk, which we've provided mainly as an excuse to include the Mini Marvels comics that best sum up the impetus behind Planet Hulk.

Who else wants to see a Mark Ruffalo and Tom Holland host a show where they accidentally spoil every movie they review? There, we put that out in the universe!

Tessa Thompson doesn't seem to think Disney had ulterior motives for cutting Valkyrie's lesbian love scene from the film. Since then her character has been officially confirmed as LGBTQ+ (although, as with all things regarding LGBTQ+ representation in Disney films, we'll believe it when we see it (and don't blink and miss it)).

As per Kevin's recommendation, Team Thor Part 2 and Team Darryl.

It's hard to have a conversation with us and not mention Tim and/or Eric. Here's the background on the fallout of the Electric Sun Festival in case you missed it (and if you're still alive, you probably didn't attend).

We Reassess Our Heroes in Episode 194!

7/5/2021

He may be a war criminal, but that's the curriculum!

Now that Black Widow is coming to theaters this Friday (and your home for extra charges, if you're not into the whole "reopening the economy maybe too soon" thing), we are once again doomed to forever chase the end of our Merry Marvel Movie March. But the fun is in the journey, so here's our newest episode where we review 2017's action/teen comedy spectacle Spider-Man: Homecoming!

Our deep dive (aka first Google hit) on flag fringe shows this Wikipedia entry. So I guess no court case has ever meant anything in this country! Makes perfect sense.

Yes, yes, yes, the MCU has a somewhat inconsistent timeline. But there's also this thing from Doctor Strange called the "Time Stone" which means we can do whatever, whenever, and it's all just fine. So lighten up! And speaking of timelines, the convergence of all of our favorite movies and shows has already happened and most of us didn't even know (except Adam, as usual).

Tony Always Wins in Episode 193!

6/21/2021

Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like winning!

While we refuse to acknowledge any Piscopo news more recent than the 1990s, we will continue to observe Piscopo Day as an arbitary signifier of ALL June birthdays. We may one day run out of non-racist SNL sketches to perform, but new streamers are being born every June, so those "Celebrity birthday" webpages will allow us to induct new members into the Piscopo Hall of Fame indefinitely! Congrats to this year's winner, Keith David!

Good things grow in Ontario, if you weren't aware. We rate this commercial as "Slightly Better than Charlie Sings a Song About It" in both pitch and repetitiveness, but it has a high catchiness quotient! [Charlie WISHES he were as good as this. –Editor Adam]

Adam found some eBay Chi-Chi's memorabilia and then kept going.

Grimes's rant about about socialism and AI may have confused everyone, but to be fair she was probably just as confused about her boyfriend's Wario sketch.

We Tell Past Explainers in Episode 192!

6/7/2021

I can't deliver these Reuben Sandwich chips until you agree to pay the charges! (Original photo by Aaron Doucett on Unsplash)

The past and the future catch up with us in episode 192, as we both tease upcoming episodes and discuss things that have happened recently, a situation we've dubbed "Past Explainers"! It's weird that there wasn't already a word for that, but I guess that's why we're pioneers! And we apologize for the lack of exciting chip segments this time around, but that just leaves us more room to ensure all those COD deliveries arrive on time!

For all our Gen Z listeners, Alastair Cooke was the presenter of a PBS show called "Masterpiece Theatre" who introduced British dramas to the audience. There, now you can say you learned something today. And for our older listeners, it turns out the Masterpiece Theatre theme is a rondeau from the first suite of symphonies by French composer Jean-Joseph Mouret. Have a listen and see if it brings back any memories.

The Wisconsin Film Festival has wrapped up for the year. The movies Charlie mentioned were: Luzzu (guy on a boat), The Inheritance (fictional story about a community center, but centered on the real-life MOVE organization), The Passing On (the word Charlie was looking for was "mortician", not "embalmer") and Strawberry Mansion (a weird 70's sci-fi pastiche with dream-like narrative structure; it was weird).

Are there things you'd like us to do in episode 200? Send us a tweet and let us know! Or stop us in the grocery store if you see us, that works too.

And yes, Bond Voyage is coming soon! Here's what we have to look forward to!

Our Walkman Gets Trashed in Episode 191!

5/24/2021

The context of this joke will soon be lost to time!

We've had a good run, but now that theaters are opening back up it looks like we'll soon be losing ground in our Merry Marvel Movie March. Oh well, we're still bringing you our review of 2017's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 anyway. We guess we'll never have to worry about that "Coyote who finally caught the Roadrunner" problem!

Adam's computer is unruly this time of year (actually true!) so his sound quality is a bit tinnier than usual. We were aware, but there wasn't much we could do at the time. Please forgive us!

And also apologies are in order for the background noise of Charlie listening to Guardians Inferno at various speeds during the "Marvel Movie March Song-Off". Discover for yourself the best playback speed for listening and for... other things.

We secretly hoped that one day our "Nick Bronson: Dinosaur Hunter" franchise would take off and have the main character voiced by Nick Offerman. Apparently, it's better that the material be imagined by an actual 5-year-old boy rather than two adults with the sensibilities of 5-year-old boys. We're talking, of course, about Axe Cop.

Yes, someone is serious about Zunes!

We Develop a New Streaming Service in Episode 190!

5/10/2021

No! Absolutely no children allowed!

Come to think of it, we create more than one cool business idea in episode 190! We're pretty sure that by releasing the recording, we hold all rights to said concepts forever and ever. And ever! So no one had better come up with a new streaming platform or baby vaudeville act or they'll be hearing from our lawyers!

While this photo makes Adam's realtor look intimidating, we assure you she is very approachable and excellent at her job, so if you need a realtor in the Chandler, Arizona area, you should contact her!

A palomino!

Perhaps the biggest tipoff that the hardcore music concert in NYC was not a 9-11 memorial event was the fact that it was in April. Something to think about when attempting to commit fraud next year!

More Nathan Rabin shilling, but we're happy to do it as usual!

And The Sparks Brothers are coming to a theater near you, assuming you're vaccinated, or care that you're vaccinated, or that theaters near you are open, or that you have a theater that considers the movie profitable... anyway it'll be out there somewhere.

We Take a Trip to the Casino in Episode 189!

4/26/2021

Future's so bright, I gotta wear shades!

We say goodbye to beloved characters (or at least the particular actor portrayals) in episode 56 of our Merry Marvel Movie March with our review of the 2017 film Logan. Tony tried to get more creative than we'd like with his rating, but we'll forgive him since he had a Week.

Doug mentions the first Logan trailer in the episode, so if you wanna watch it again, here you go.

Much like its Masked Singer counterpart, the candy bar Thingamajig was exciting, until it suddenly was over. I guess when life gets you down, you just repackage and move on!

James Mangold will be directing the fifth Indiana Jones film, which, if it's like James Mangold's other movies that we've seen, will be about Indy wishing for his own death, possibly by snake bite.

Logan wasn't originally designed to be in black and white, but as Adam pointed out, the first few episodes of WandaVision were! As was The Addams Family tv show.

And finally:

When the poster you want doesn't exist, you improvise!

We Convert to a Cooking Format in Episode 188!

4/12/2021

You guessed it!

After perhaps the most bizarre year of all our lives to date, we decide to catch up with old friends Alex and John in episode 188. It's been over 100 episodes since John was last on the podcast, but some things never change (as evidenced by the blog photo).

Charlie couldn't decide whether comparing John to Bean Dad was too mean or not... but when in doubt, leave it in the podcast and have the public decide!

Turns out Shrimp Tail Guy, in addition to being Topanga's Husband, is also a Milkshake Duck. We're sure he's got a real name too, but who can be bothered in this day and age?

Alex brought the old memes to the show this week (explicit lyrics warning); we're sure Paul would approve.

We invite ol' Big Brother technology into our home, and all he can muster the energy for is targeted advertisements in our "smart" televisions? We were promised the Panopticon! Oh well, here's how to disable that junk.

And finally, as much as we are loath to link to rival podcasts (we consider ALL podcasts to be in direct competition with us), here is a link to the Plague Inc interview Adam mentions in the episode.

We Improvise with Artifacts in Episode 187!

3/29/2021

I dunno, I'm not sure I'm a "cape" guy...

Merry Marvel Movie March Madness draws to a close with nary a COVID-forced no-contest forfeit, as we review the 2016 film Doctor Strange. Great job guys, we did it despite the odds!

Adam is still threatening to do a Merry Marvel Movie March Appendix, which would potentially include Doctor Mordrid. So familiarize yourself with it now!

Since recording, Another Round has been nominated for Academy Awards in the "Directing" and "International Feature Film" categories. Charlie recommends it, and Doug probably will soon too!

We didn't really discuss how Rachel McAdams's character isn't even a Doctor Strange character: Christine Palmer's from a short-lived 70s book called "Night Nurse" (meant to appeal to female readers), and then she doesn't make another appearance until 2004's "Nightcrawler" book (and basically nothing since then). It's not really clear why she was picked for the movie at all, unless they just went with a Marvel character who was a nurse. But we love Rachel McAdams, so who cares!

We Perform Amazing, though Imperfect, Feats of Engineering in Episode 186!

3/15/2021

Sometimes it feels like the whole movie looks like this

We've hit the middle (nadir?) of Merry Marvel Movie March Madness with our review of the 2016 film X-Men: Apocalypse. But it's maybe not the low point of the X-Men franchise, so we all have that to look forward to in the future. We wouldn't want the post-pandemic world to look too rosy, now would we?

Generally we wouldn't advocate for adding more scenes of teenagers at the mall, but here we might make an exception. See, it's not bad, right?

You missed your chance to be a graduate of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Of course, why you'd want to go to a school that gets attacked or destoyed every few months is beyond us...

But 50 cents off White Castle? Sign us up!

A deal so good, it's expired!

And just a reminder that Steve Ditko was doing psychedelia before it was cool.

We Initiate an Elaborate Revenge Scheme in Episode 185!

3/1/2021

It may have been a draw, but at least we got our lunges in for the day!

It just so happens that the episode release schedule allows us to get in three episodes for Merry Marvel Movie March Madness this year! What better way to kick that off than by reviewing the 2016 team-up extravaganza Captain America: Civil War? Some sort of elaborate team sports tournament involving schools from all over the nation? This ain't that type of podcast, dummy!

Another major milestone in the March: we're finally free of Ike Perlmutter!

Here's the link to Team Thor to watch at your leisure. It's directed by Taika Waititi, so we assume you now feel compelled to view it!

Oh yeah, and thanks, Paul for giving us the opportunity to bring this up again!

We Hemorrhage Water in Episode 184!

2/15/2021

Real question

This week, Charlie couldn't be bothered to show up, but luckily we were apparently able to get Tim Daly and Steven Weber of "Wings" fame to talk with us in episode 184 at the last minute! Like the rest of us, their lives are currently filled with a plethora of tragedies and opportunities. Unlike the rest of us, that includes unusually high water bills and 500 foot tall sentient sponges.

David Lynch doesn't like watching movies on phones. But he does like the weather.

Hopefully we'll see a "Frasier" reboot greenlit soon, but if not, it's nice to know there are plenty of opportunites for Kelsey Grammer to play a sky pirate if he so chooses (including on the "iCarly" reboot, we assume).

It turns out "The Daly Show" is a thing, so we're not sure how "The Daly Weekly Monthly" fits into the puzzle. I guess we'll have to ask Tim the next time he's on the show.

Also, be a little less douche.

We Forget our Arsenal in Episode 183!

2/8/2021

Does this count as a cameo?

Merry Marvel Movie March installment number 52 covers the 2016 movie Deadpool, and it couldn't have come at a better time. And by that, we mean a week late! Sorry for the delay, sometimes quality takes time! But we'll be back right on schedule with another episode next week, with two very special guests and one notable absence...

Here's the leaked test footage of Deadpool, which just goes to show that you can run afoul of NDAs as long as the suits are happy with the results!

And because we mention Tony's "woo" again, here you go. If we post it enough, maybe it'll eventually be the first Google hit for "startled Miles Teller".

There's a brief conversation that was cut from the podcast about Negasonic Teenage Warhead's powers. Here's a CinemaBlend article that goes over that in detail.

Also, marvel at the success of this film despite the slashed budget!

It may be worth brushing up on your Cable history before we get to Deadpool 2.

And we'd have to deep-dive a bit more to find out why Deadpool and Wolverine might be feuding in the comic universe, but here's a little background on how their respective actors brought that feud into real life.

We May or May Not Have Made It to 2021 in Episode 182!

1/18/2021

Not actual size

We ostensibly get together to talk about Christmas presents in episode 182, but reality gets in the way. But don't worry - we presently assure you of the presence of present presentation within the present episode.

The fate of Parler is still in flux. Since the episode, the service was thrown out of multiple app stores, had its Amazon web-hosting shut down, and then has found a new home. So a hearty "well done" to the folks who tried to capitalize on the few days in that timeline where "Parler loaded" phones were relevant. We will not link to any of those things nor should you search for them. We're only mentioning it at all because it came up in the podcast and maybe you're in the future doing a history report on the Capitol Insurrection and for some reason you've decided to use us as a source? I mean, we're flattered, but you might want to rethink your scholarly research strategies.

The Obama Library is pretty on brand, in that it earns both the genuine and sarcastic intonations of the phrase "Thanks, Obama".

And finally, the sort of schadenfreude we live for.

We Make Interdimensional Travel Boring in Episode 181!

1/4/2021

Uh... did someone just yell "Woo"?

What to say about the 2015 film Fant4stic? That it's the 51st movie in our Merry Marvel Movie March? That's just about the best thing it has going for it! We guess it does have Tim Heidecker in it, technically (just make sure you don't blink). But I guess what do you expect from a movie called Fant4stic? What's that, it's technically called Fantastic Four? Not according to any posters or $2 used Blu-rays WE'VE seen!

Oh yeah, the film did make this classic Tony Huff moment possible! (In that Miles Teller is an actor who is sometimes invited onto television talk shows!)

Apparently it was Vox, not AV Club, who called Fant4stic an "unmitigated garbage fire". We regret the error, albeit not the sentiment.

A lot has been speculated in writing about why this movie failed, although it's not really clear that Josh Trank's tweet is what sank it. A little time has given some perspective to both the world and the director (even to the point of Trank reviewing his own film on Letterboxd!), and we're happy to report that the reviews for Capone were... marginally better than for Fant4stic. Keep at it, fellow white male! You're bound to strike gold again on the 7th or 8th try!

We May Have Put an Old Lady in a Coma in Episode 60!

12/21/2020

Excuse me sir, but have you heard the Word of Lowell?

Episode 60 of our Wings review show brings us another Nantucket Christmas, this time without the music licensing problems that make the season 2 Christmas episode inaccessible via most legal methods. As usual, it has us pining for the days where whole physical seasons of TV series were available for rent at video stores.

Yes, the Feast of Seven Fishes is a real thing! Once again, the writers of Wings are extremely committed to cultural accuracy and in no way are playing on broad stereotypes. No easy laughs here!

Phil Buckman actually is a very talented bassist, and you can contact him here via his LinkedIn profile.

We Crash Our Daughter's Birthday Party in Episode 179!

12/7/2020

This movie almost makes us forget that ants are totally gross and scary

We're finally on installment 50 of our Merry Marvel Movie March and we can hardly believe it! Thanks for sticking with us over the years; your reward is listening to us talk about Gregg Turkington for longer than probably necessary in episode 179 while discussing the 2015 film Ant-Man.

On Cinema has its own universe, which is nearly impenetrable to the uninitiated. Luckily, Vulture tries its best to help!

Per Wikipedia, Doug has the correct pronunciation of Dastmalchian. Apologies for cutting the discussion of that from the podcast - riveting stuff, but something had to go!

Here's that "so-famous-we-didn't-know-it-existed" SNL sketch of Garrett Morris as Ant-Man. [Charlie, you're a philistine. -Adam]

Paul Rudd was great in Ant-Man, but he's at his greatest in short-form videos and sketches. Check out some of his greatest hits, including Anyone Can Quantum (and the Star Trek Beyond sequel Quantum is Calling!), the "Ants! Ants! Ant-Man!" promo, Celery Man, and a whole playlist of Mac and Me trolls.

We Create Our Own Biggest Problem in Episode 178!

11/23/2020

Tell me again how great you think shields are, I dare you

It's a very special day as Adam cajoles us into celebrating the 57th anniversary of Doctor Who today! Will you watch some classic Doctor Who on Pluto TV to celebrate? Will you listen to some audio stories? Or will you simply hope that Doug comes by holding a TV playing the latest season above his head? The choice is yours!

Despite Adam's best efforts, however, we actually spend most of the episode discussing the 49th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March, the 2015 film Avengers: Age of Ultron! Sure, it's a sequel to the previous Avengers movie, but what about all the other MCU movies in between? And how does it stack up against the rest of the MCU? Listen to hear what we think!

As Adam mentions, this isn't the last we'll hear of the Marvel Creative Committee, and much like Hydra their deeds are as sinister as they are soul-crushing!

It turns out Doug's disdain for Ultron's plan is more widely held and therefore justifiable.

And maybe we're gonna get a "do Scarlet Witch and Vision copulate?" answer next year?

We're Scared of Trees in Episode 177!

11/9/2020

The movie that robbed a generation of future arborists

We're here to prove it's never too late for a Halloween themed episode - or maybe never too early? I guess that depends on your perspective. Look, if you listen to episode 177, you'll get a peek into our darkest nightmares, so that should be motivation enough for you to join us!

We always complained that potato chips had too many nutrients. Turns out iron may be the worst offender and also the cause of Charlie's surprise chip update.

More Tim and Eric comin' at ya with "Tim's Test Kitchen". Spoiler: he never adds a reuben.

In case you were confused like Adam was, here's a video where Howie Mandel sticks a glove on his head and blows it up... not sure we have much to add to that description.

RIP Quibi, we hardly knew ye.

Buy your own copy of the X-Files book Adam mentions! (And actually Adam is in every Outside In book so far if you want to complete the set!) And it's worth reminding you to also buy Alex's books Trivia Showdown Vol. 1 and Trivia Showdown Vol. 2!

Adam has a point about Logan Marshall-Green looking similar to Tom Hardy, so he'll probably mention it every episode from now on just to annoy Doug.

We Vomit at All the Violence in Episode 176!

10/26/2020

Look, I think we ALL would benefit from more scenes like this.

Don your bespoke suits and ostentatious top hats as we review Kingsman: The Secret Service in episode 176. This may be our only Kingsman outing in our Merry Marvel Movie March, so enjoy!

Doug's assertion about the varying levels of spice in Cheetos Flamin' Hot bags bears out in this Cracked article. The true reason is still a mystery though!

Felix Baumgartner's world record space jump is quite impressive, but he conspiciously never shot a rocket at an orbiting satellite. Amateur!

We Deplatform Each Other in Episode 175!

10/12/2020

Written by Bob Shea, illustrated by Zachariah OHora, available wherever books are sold.

It really seems like just yesterday that we were passing off cut material as new content... but here we are again dropping our very own October Surprise with "A Beautiful Tag Show"!

But seriously, thanks to everyone who has participated in our show over the years. Their names are in the archive page on every episode, if you haven't had a chance to peruse that yet.

For all y'all who were wondering what Charlie's mom thought of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: on a scale of "Awful" to "Best Movie Ever", she rated it slightly below "Meh". Sounds like she agreed with the popular critical reception!

Wes mentions a Chris Farley SNL sketch about switching coffee, which we present here for your viewing pleasure.

We Don't Go To Alcatraz in Episode 174!

9/28/2020

Big Hero 6 underwear merchandizing opportunity: seized!

Unfortunately, Charlie miscounted, and so we only had 5 guests for our Merry Marvel Movie March episode about Big Hero 6. Fortunately, we did have Aislinn, who had not only seen the movie many times but was much closer to the target demographic for the film. Not that we don't recommend it to everyone; besides the bird-maiming technology depicted, it's fun for all ages!

The original Nashville hot chicken joint (according to legend, at least) is Prince's Hot Chicken, and Doug wasn't joking when he said it was intended to be punitive!

The box office numbers for New Mutants aren't great. WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED??

Adam and Fred from Big Hero 6 both seem to have a special place in their heart for Monark Starstalker. So now you know what the deal is!

And finally, "Where's My Chippy" (or at least one of them) for reference. Totally worth the 28 seconds.

We Further Discuss Birthday Gifts in Episode 173!

9/14/2020

Yeah, the mirrors were kind of expensive and unnecessary, but I figure you gotta spoil yourself sometimes, am I right?

More movie discussion coming at ya in episode 173. If you're not into that, we're not sure how you've made it to episode 173! But seriously, as self-deprecating as the description of the episode is, we had a lot of fun discussing Kiss Me Deadly and World on a Wire, and we think you'll have fun listening!

Here's at least one of the lists of best sci-fi films that may have lead us to World on a Wire. Roger Ebert's review may not entirely support its spot at #27, but he still liked it!

As much as we swoon over the Criterion Collection, Black directors are significantly underrepresented. Here's a recent NYT article addressing the problem which they will hopefully move to rectify soon.

Turns out Mike Nichols has an EGOT! Though none of those awards were for the movie Regarding Henry, to Charlie's disappointment.

We Try to Remember Our Birthday Swag in Episode 172!

8/31/2020

My money's on Frenchy

We apologize for the delay on the traditional Recounting of the Gifts - Birthday Edition 2020. As an act of contrition, Adam reviews the breakfast cereal no one knew they needed, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros! Because whenever we eat churros, we always wonder why we can't eat them immediately when we wake up. But now we can.

Morton and Hayes is real! Well, not REAL real. But it was a thing. (From Rob Reiner, with Christopher Guest and Michael McKean directing? That's quite a pedigree!) Here it is on YouTube!

It's not a question of whether Wisconsin Republicans are dickheads at all, it's more a question of what took them so long?

Adam ate Jet's Pizza for his birthday dinner. Make note of it.

We Try to Skip to the Ratings in Episode 171!

8/17/2020

Sometimes the censored version is better

Tony and Paul do a great job of helming the ship in episode 171, the 46th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March! And they manage to keep our unruly guest Otto in line (well, most of the time). Also, we are well aware that we've already reviewed Guardians of the Galaxy, but the old episode is heavier on providing background about the comics, whereas the new episode has our thoughts that fit within the framework of the March. We think you'll find them quite complementary!

The specific scene from the blooper reel Adam mentions is here, but watch the whole thing whydoncha?

Reason #35 why it's sad that the Sega Dreamcast folded: Power Stone.

The Princess Bride "fan-film" is available on Quibi, so I guess it's destined to remain unviewed by anyone ever (I would say that Jeffrey Katzenberg might watch it, but he's on record as not actually watching any TV). Oh, and TIL: the score for the original film was arranged by our second-favorite Knopfler! (Mark)

We Become Cabin Men in Episode 170!

8/3/2020

Successful haul from a post-apocalyptic wasteland supply run

We have an old-fashioned chat in episode 170, where we just sit around and talk about things. But we bring topics (and editing), so we hope you find it as enjoyable a diversion as we did in these uncertain times.

Looks like our Chinese fans have finally taken note and decided to symbolically insult Ted Cruz rather than take any actual action against him. Effective? No. Fun? Most definitely!

Apparently, Topix (which you might remember from episode 116) was a website "where community members could go and post local news and gossip relevant to their own town" and "for your town's latest news and hottest takes". We can only assume they were run out of business by Nextdoor.

If you would like to murder computers, you can play the awkwardly punctuated 2000:1: A Space Felony here.

We mention an episode of Sherlock, so here's the relevant Wikipedia article. As of this post, it's also available on Netflix and we highly recommend it! Plus some info on Stalker and The Conqueror as it relates to crew members maybe getting cancer from the experience.

Dear listener, you too can listen to the Sparks album Adam mentions on YouTube for free! Although, if you're Swedish, I'm sure you already knew that.

We humbly propose that the East Lansing bar Harper's change its name to Super Spreaders.

Updates from Adam re: the Criterion Sale!

We Record Every Network (and PBS!) in Episode 169!

7/20/2020

OK, we don't have much time... in 2003 you order some takeout that gives you really bad food poisoning. I can't remember the name of the place, but it starts with a "J" I think... Jerry's Pub? Jenna's Pub...? Anyway, it's something like that...

We exhausted ourselves to bring you the newest episode in our Merry Marvel Movie March, our discussion of 2014's X-Men: Days of Future Past. We watched the theatrical cut AND the Rogue Cut in order to be as informed as possible. That's over 270 minutes of X-Men! And that doesn't even count the episode recording (we won't reveal how much material we cut from the episode, but we can assure you it was more than 11 minutes).

Nixon did visit the Lincoln Memorial to talk to protesters, rather than retreating into the White House bunker. However, early press reports described him as an "exhausted and overwrought president engaging students in nonsensical banter". So some comparisons to the current president still hold.

There were references to Cypher, Hate-Monger and House of M in this episode, so here you go! Now Charlie (and maybe also you!) can genuinely understand these references, instead of just pretending!

We Play Social Distance at The Price is Right in Episode 168!

7/6/2020

Apparently our understudy host played this 2000 times last night and it isn't working right now, so I'm just going to give you the money

After an intense legal battle, we were finally able to release episode 168 with the express written consent of Dru Karey. After that, Shaun White had no problem rescinding his request that we not break his confidence. We found it surprising that Dru had no idea what "The Price is Right" is, and that he lives in Portland, Maine. What a commute!

So "Street Sharks" and "Extreme Dinosaurs" are real, in case you needed further proof that everything in this episode was based in fact.

"The Price is Right" hasn't taped since March, so I'm not sure what Shaun White has been doing... maybe they just roll without turning on the camera to keep him busy? As long as he's entertaining folks at CBS Television City by playing old video games, I guess everyone wins! Oh, and he no longer needs to hot swap those PS2 discs!

It's also worth noting that the actual world record right now is a quad cork 1980. Shaun insists that he skip right to that 2700 though. If you achieve actual liftoff though and never land, it counts as a perfect run (rotation is infinite) – at least this is one of the potential rule changes that is proposed by Muniz Industries.

We Make Joe's Favorite Food in Episode 167!

6/22/2020

The only known photo of James "Jim" Varney

Whether you celebrated June 17th by relaxing and eating a quintessential New Jersey treat, or reading an SNL skit of your own, I think that we can all say it was a successful Piscopo Day! And here's an episode that records our revelry, as usual!

Alex mentions in the episode that he took part in the "n-1" annual Piscopo celebration. But he did not! It was in fact n-4, but we can see why he may have been so traumatized that he's relived it every year since! This seems consistent with the behavior of the Ghost of Piscopo Past, who is quite the trickster. Hopefully his participation this year won't haunt him!

If you're anything like us, you can never get enough ALF. Enjoy!

Someone made a Criterion Closet playlist for us. It's actually kinda fun to watch sometimes, if you're into that sort of thing! (You can watch Bill Hader be fun or Michael Cera be smug!)

As much as we are loath to promote any news to do with Martin Shkreli, there's the counterbalance of seeing him get more comeuppance that forces us to link to this article.

We Witness the Failure of a Cinematic Universe in Episode 166!

6/8/2020

Looks like Spider-Man is in for a SHOCKING experience! ...no? No one? What if I said "electrifying" instead?

It's back-to-back episodes for our Merry Marvel Movie March with 2014's The Amazing Spider-Man 2! We discuss how this movie tries to get a full cinematic universe off the ground and fails at it rather spectacularly! I suppose it just wouldn't be a bad Spider-Man movie if it weren't overstuffed with villains and an excessive running time!

The reasons as to why this movie failed are rather extensive, but Andrew Garfield has suggested that the original storyline may have gone through too many changes. Was there originally an explanation why Max Dillon, apparently a gifted electrical engineer, was also doing low-level maintenance work? I guess we'll never know!

Still, it also seems like the part of the reason this movie didn't launch a franchise was due to...jet lag???

Unsure what Paul's talking about when he mentions Junji Ito and "it was made for me"? Good thing Know Your Meme's got you covered!

And finally, the oral history of Cabin Boy that Doug mentions. It's genuinely worth your time, so check it out!

Charlie's Dream Becomes a Reality in Episode 165!

5/25/2020

The Winter Soldier is prepared to enforce social distancing

It's Memorial Day, so it's only fitting that we should celebrate by reviewing Captain America: The Winter Soldier for our Merry Marvel Movie March! It was certainly not a random coincidence that this episode came out today... no sir! Is this Charlie's favorite movie of all time? You'll have to listen to find out, but all we're saying is that maybe Mission: Impossible – Fallout should be worried...

It may not be clear what the bullet count is in The Winter Soldier, but here's a video suggesting the body count at least is 177! Impressive, Cap.

Turns out Tony wasn't just all talk in the tag. When confronted about his mask use at his local golf course, he did indeed tell the offender to go f*** themselves! He rose to the challenge in a way that would make Steve Rogers proud, and for that we salute him!

We Commit to the Bit in Episode 164!

5/11/2020

Just 6,999,999,998 more people, and we got a record, boys!

The bits come flying at you pretty fast in episode 164, so strap in! You'd better expect an intense experience when the essence of 5 days of Shenanigalactica is compressed into less than an hour. Some say it's a blessing, others a curse. But rest assured, it's an experience like no other, thanks to Adam's fastidious notetaking. No bit was lost, even the ones that were relegated to Shenanifailedza.

If the blog post photo is to be believed, it appears that Paul and Tony may have already set a record! No relevant results appear under Grand Canyon or defecation! However they fell just a little short of the largest peaceful gathering ever (2 vs 60 million) and the slightly more obscure record of largest gathering of people dressed as landmarks (0 vs 684).

We Find Shoes in Unexpected Places in Episode 163!

4/27/2020

The Shy Guys have really updated their look

Our respective stay-at-home orders may have slowed the release of Marvel films, but they haven't slowed our Merry Marvel Movie March! This means we may catch up yet! In that spirit, please listen to episode 163, in which we discuss Thor: The Dark World. I mean, what else have you got to do?

Behind-the-scenes drama was a bit more heightened than usual (though not to Blade: Trinity levels). Natalie Portman was furious over Patty Jenkins' departure, while the erstwhile director herself explains while she chose to leave. And the always plain-spoken Christopher Eccleston did not hold his tongue about his disdain for his hours spent in makeup. (Although he's not the only somewhat disgruntled MCU actor.) And as we mentioned in the episode, it turns out audiences refused to believe Loki died.

Cut from this episode: references to the Adult Swim Show Beef House! If a Tim and Eric multi-cam sitcom sounds appealing to you, you will likely be satisfied.

And finally once again Adam has made a meme for us below, so please credit us if you use it!

March 1 vs. March 31

We Fill the Grand Canyon in Episode 162!

4/13/2020

Foggy Canyon and the IMAX Experience

Last month was the fifth anniversary of the original Shenaniganza Grand Canyon trip, and what better way to celebrate it than with a whole episode about this year's Shenanigalactica! As you'll hear, the raw "bit" material was molded into a plethora of comedic gems, although they aren't all contained herein. But don't worry, all will be recounted in detail in a future installment!

Turns out that if you stockpile hand sanitizer, maybe it ISN'T a good idea to have the New York Times write an article about you. Lesson learned!

And to continue the thread of "stories that quickly changed after we discussed them on the podcast", GameStop tried to claim it was an essential business but then quickly had to shut down. Lesson learned, again!

Have you seen the videos of cats being scared by cucumbers? No? I don't believe you, but fine, here you go.

We Wish the Shark Would Have Killed Us in Episode 161!

3/30/2020

The citizenry needs more of him! (Less of everyone else)

It's with great fanfare that we give to you the final episode in this year's Merry Marvel Movie March Madness, the 2013 "film" Kick-Ass 2. It's been a wild ride, but now we'll have to dial it back from a rolling boil to our more typical light simmer, Marvel-wise. But fear not; that's how some of the best sauces are made! And surely that translates to movie reviews.

Amazon reviews for Kick-Ass 2 run the gamut from bitter and pedantic to thoughtful and hilarious. However, none of them get us any closer to figuring out WHO this movie was FOR...

If you doubt that we were Pepsi Max-shippers from the get-go, audio proof exists. I mean, you could simply take our word for it, but that wouldn't be nearly as entertaining as listening!

Yes, yes, Union J is a real group which has a Facebook page that's updated sometimes. And THAT VIDEO! *swoon*

Mark Millar licks goats? Machine Man made a sign, so seems legit!

The Simpsons episode that Adam refers to is called Blood Feud (S2E22). Doug actually mentioned this in the original recording, but since we try not to leave anything in the final cut that makes Doug look good, it was removed.

We Perform Autosurgery in Episode 160!

3/16/2020

What's the point of getting this jacked if she's immune to my manly charms??

Is your March suddenly lacking Madness? It may only be slight consolation to you sports fans, but our Merry Marvel Movie March Madness won't ever be canceled because we're never in the same room together! Episode number two of three for the month features 2013's solo Wolverine movie, efficiently titled The Wolverine.

Doug wasn't kidding when he said he was conditioned to think this was a remake of Superman II. I mean, just watch the trailer!

While it was used as a backdrop for our entertainment, it's always worth realizing that, you know, atomic bombs are bad. Here's a little reading on the Hibakusha, the folks who were most affected.

But on a lighter note (though still death-related), here's the "Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru" meme Paul was referring to during the episode.

We Kidnap the President Again(!) in Episode 159!

3/2/2020

When Frank told his therapist that he was afraid of heights, drowning, AND robots, they decided together that exposure therapy was the only recourse.

It's time once again for MERRY MARVEL MOVIE MARCH MADNESS! *AIRHORN* We've got three MMMM episodes for you this month, starting with episode 159, in which we discuss 2013's Iron Man 3. Catching our march up to modern times is seeming more likely, unless someone comes up with an AI that analyzes and greenlights scripts - or even the entire movie-making process!

Iron Man 3 has many setpieces, not the least of which is the skydiving scene. There's some interesting info we didn't get into in articles here and here.

Doug chastised us for not calling a soda by its proper name: Mountain Dew Zero Sugar. Honestly, how are we (the uneducated public) supposed to keep up with advancements in Soda Technology, let alone the technical names these scientists come up with? All we know is it has black can art, so it must be low calorie!

We Recount the Gifts and Do the Dew in Episode 158!

2/17/2020

Those looking for less than 100% Dew will not find it here

For whatever reason we just had too much to talk about before our The Amazing Spider-Man episode, so we spun off our discussion into episode 158. But since it happened first, Charlie refers to it as episode 157 in the actual recording. He wasn't wrong at the time, but does that make him wrong now? That's up to you, the listener, to decide (especially since Charlie didn't want to record the line over again).

Finally: a chance to bring up the exclusive KFC Dew flavor Sweet Lightning. Although I think I'm more impressed that there's a dedicated Mountain Dew wiki.

OK, so, soy sauce... testicles... sigh. We can't even...

And even though the existence of the Space Force proves we are in the darkest of timelines, Cracked at least did a little work to determine whether or not the logo was stolen from Star Trek as Doug suggests.

We Grab for the Gun in Episode 157!

2/3/2020

Since you seem to have developed super strength and agility, I just thought I'd take this opportunity to express my sympathies

We introduce Tony to his first Spider-Man movie in our 38th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March as we review The Amazing Spider-Man. We must admit, the replacement of Tobey Maguire with Andrew Garfield may have been a factor in Tony's decision to watch this.

As Adam mentioned in the podcast, our old pal Nathan Rabin actually liked The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (contains spoilers). Well, he enjoyed it ironically, but that's still enjoyment! Perhaps for that episode Doug will have to break out his scale that involves negative scores. But we digress!

We tried to find some cool behind-the-scenes stories for this movie, but unsurprisingly, most of those deal with the ill-fated sequel instead of this. So while we've got a bunch of fun links lined up for when we reach installment 44 of our March, for now you'll have to be content with this 2012 interview with director Marc Webb.

Alex Tries to Wipe His Memory in Episode 156!

1/20/2020

Rey, I just finally remembered that thing I said I was going to tell you! I guess I'll wait 'til you get back, if I still remember!

Episode 156 has all the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker content you still must be craving a full month after the movie's release. But seriously, give it a listen, especially if you're looking for a less, ah, indulgent viewpoint of the movie. I mean, I can't think of any other source than us for formulating a better script.

Poor Nien Nunb! Or not? After all, he's really not dead as long as we remember him. (And I don't mean in that stupid "emotionally impactful Star Trek" way, I mean literally!)

In this YouTube video created seemingly with Tony Huff specifically in mind, we see all the scenes from the prequels that spawned memes. Which is more comprehensive than you might imagine. And with some bonus Rogue One at the end!

And Adam made a meme, just for us!

I mean, he's got a point.

We Almost Get a Dinosaur Movie in Episode 155!

1/6/2020

You know, you really remind me of someone...

It's safe to say that we were all pleasantly surprised with Men in Black 3 in episode 155 -- edition 37 of our Merry Marvel Movie March. And our eagle-eyed fans will notice that this episode instigated a re-rate of a previous film... FROM CHARLIE. Wow!

In Doug's defense, everyone is more prone to crying on planes. And if you don't get a tear in your eye near the end of this movie, that doesn't NECESSARILY make you a monster... but you're halfway there.

We didn't really know anything about Rip Torn's life before this episode, but this is pretty much exactly what we imagined it would be. Of course, that didn't stop Air New Zealand from hiring him for this safety video.

Charlie has been thinking about it, and wants to say that he now understands the spontaneous healing of Will Smith when he time travels near the end of the movie. When Smith travels back, the healing indicates his victory is inevitable, and thus the spikes never hit him in the first place! (Either that, or it's just a fun movie and we shouldn't think about it too hard.)

We're Not the Only Ones Last-Minute Shopping in Episode 154!

12/23/2019

EXACTLY why you stay open on Christmas Day!

The Gobeski/Wallace Report wishes you and your family a Happy Holiday season and a prosperous New Year! Now that we've done that, the least you can do is force everyone you know to listen to episode 154. It's the podcast that brings people of all creeds and languages together in harmony, after all! Are you opposed to love, unity, and peace on Earth? Well, are you?!

Frankie may not SAY that his Clone Oil is made from people, but I mean, c'mon. But is it sustainable? We can't imagine humans, even cloned ones, aren't a burden on the environment. But cannibalizing wild caught humans? That's bound to be a net boon for Mother Earth! (Curse you Paul Wilcox, for making us think about this...)

Richard Karn was lying - he hasn't been on the Home Impodcast since June of 2017! WE... ARE... FURIOUS!

We May or May Not Be Possessed by an Asgardian in Episode 153!

12/9/2019

Guys, just make sure you arrange yourselves so Loki can see ALL of us

We're finally finished with Phase 1 of the MCU now that we've reviewed The Avengers for our Merry Marvel Movie March. Now on to Phase 2, which based on dialogue in this movie we believe to be a bunch of weapons in some boxes... Plus we mourn a certain character who is now DEAD FOREVER and certainly doesn't come back as the lead of a spin-off series lasting seven seasons.

Even though the selection on the website eTHAICD is extensive, please note that the sixth search result for "avengers" is a movie called Scavengers. So, maybe not the most intuitive search algorithm ever devised...

As much as Charlie would rather have S.H.I.E.L.D.'s duties be taken over by the Department of the Interior, there's reason to believe that they may not keep the plot of their Marvel movies on the rails either.

Don Cheadle is Captain Planet.

Robert Downey Jr. rolling his eyes and Chris Evans understanding that reference are just two of the memes that come from this movie. I'm sure we'll talk about lots more MCU-specific memes in future episodes.

We cut a tangent where we all stop and watch the trailer for the 1977 horror film House, so now that means you have to watch it since you didn't hear us explain it. Similarly, you'll have to watch The Avengers gag reel for the same reason.

We Travel Through a Black Hole Underwater in Episode 152!

11/25/2019

Leisure time optimization

seaQuest DSV has always been our passion, but we get a little bit off-topic in episode 152, despite Adam's best efforts. We promise to be more focused next time!

There's a Planet Money episode about beating the lottery that Paul mentions in the episode. Also: this "60 Minutes" episode about a couple who found a flawed lottery game and won millions.

Doug sent us a couple comics relating to Veterans Day restaurant deals, which you can find here and here.

Buying retro games for display-only? DUMB!

Apparently "sticking to sports" means "diving into an uncontrollable tailspin from which you will never recover". RIP Deadspin.

And finally, here's the photo of Darwin that Paul sent us:

This isn't a real dolphin? So disillusioned!

Episode 151 Has More Nic Cage Than Usual... Again!

11/12/2019

Why mess with the perfect photo?

At the risk of repeating ourselves, we reviewed Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance for our Merry Marvel Movie March. Turns out we already did this in episode 33 as well, but I guess that was a different podcast... with different hosts? This universe switch sure is disorienting, but as long as there are Gobeskis and Wallaces present, I think we're on the right track.

A quick Google search of "nic cage bare-assed" results in many things you'd expect, but surprisingly also this Guardian interview he did while promoting Frozen Ground (which Charlie has seen!) (It was not good).

And an MTV article which addresses the fire pee. At least no one can say we didn't get exactly what we were promised...

We Reinvent Ourselves Again and Again in Episode 150!

10/28/2019

I felt compelled to use this picture, but I'm not sure why...

Wow, can't believe we made it to episode 150! Too bad we end up cutting the episode short and talking about nothing... or did we talk about EVERYTHING? We can't help but feel like everything will be different from now on... or will it be exactly the same? But rest assured, the next 150 episodes will have the same stellar content you've come to expect from us, minus one specific topic.

As you may you recall, this rat, perhaps inspired by Mr. Chuck himself, stole a piece of pizza (and our hearts) back in 2015.

Sorry, short blog post this time around! But that makes sense, given how short the episode was. I think? It's tough to remember...

We Ride Motorcycles into Secret Bases in Episode 149!

10/14/2019

It belongs in a museum!

Our Merry Marvel Movie March takes us back in time with episode 149, all about the 2011 period adventure movie Captain America: The First Avenger! We talk about The Rocketeer, the Red Skull, and whether all those people shot with fancy Hydra weapons were killed or teleported. And we learn that Charlie's favorite movie titles are the ones that don't leave any surprises for the audience to discover!

Our very own correspondent Douglas Gobeski had the opportunity to visit the Harley-Davidson Museum in Milwaukee, where he saw all sorts of neat things, including the bike that Captain America rode in this movie! And that's his photo up there at the top!

So how DID they make Chris Evans so small in the first part of this movie? As Adam says in the episode, it was a combination of CG and a body double; FX Guide has the lowdown on how the magic happens! (A couple thumbnails on that link aren't working, but if you click the thumbnail the full image will appear.)

And if we're gonna discuss the super soldier augmentation of Captain America, we're legally required to include this image:

From this article

We Compare Degrees in Episode 148!

9/30/2019

Even worse than it looks

Episode 148 is a celebration of many things: new degrees, a boyz reunion, and food experiments, to name a few. Many bits were born and much snacking was partaken in! Listen all the way to the end for an extra "Chippin' with Charlie" segment!

Here's a primer on Mixer. Oh, now I know where I've seen that Ninja guy - he was The Ice Cream on "The Masked Singer" this week!

Adam and Doug were talking about the TV show "Secrets of the Dead", not to be confused with "Ancient Aliens".

Doug mentions this textbook in the episode, which describes this phenomenon.

Nazis ruin everything, and Old Kinderhook himself would be ashamed of how they've appropriated his hand symbol. Blech.

People still mention this meme to Charlie occasionally. Yep, he was alive 14 years ago, so he's definitely seen this before – no need to remind him!

In case you forgot: Hey Paul. Dat pizza dough.

Here's the Red Letter Media podcast about streaming services in case, like the rest of us, you just can't seem to keep up with this sort of news anymore.

Doug uses this invisible oil on his own body, and hasn't been mauled by eMules yet. They must have done a good job of disguising the taste of the bittering agent when consumed by humans!

And since our podcast has evolved into its own version of an extended meme reel, here's the context for the egg that's bigger than before.

We Discover eMules in Episode 147!

9/16/2019

CHONK CHONK CHONK!

We adjudicate many things in episode 147, but Muniz Industries continues to steamroll all regulatory authority. You're probably covered in invisible oil right now! If it weren't so nutritious and calorie-dense, we'd probably be really concerned right now.

Our new episode has a misophonia warning from 21:22-30:28 (Chewin' with Charlie). Hey, we actually warned you this time!

Judge John Hodgman has ruled, but does he get final say? Well on OUR podcast it can be appealed. Of course, the appeals process is likely to take YEARS and render anything but the original ruling moot. Kara is ok with this.

While it's almost impossible that Mr. B (BeeJay) hasn't been adopted yet, you should at least read up on the big chonker himself. He's a hefty boy, for sure!

And PLEASE, check out "The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek" as completed by our own Adam Gobeski. Also I guess he completed his PhD, which is also cool. But we'll discuss that more in a future episode!

We Fall in Unison in Episode 146!

9/2/2019

Yes, ALL of the X-Men assembled on this beach have MANY adventures to come, WITHOUT EXCEPTION!

It's a blast from the past in episode 146, as our Merry Marvel Movie March continues with our 33rd installment, all about X-Men: First Class and not, as Charlie originally thought, Captain America: The First Avenger. That'll have to wait until our next Marvel movie! Instead we talk about Kevin Bacon's German accent, montages, and how every single woman in this movie removes her clothing at some point. And should this win an award for "Best Use of the F-Word in a PG-13 Movie"? We certainly can't think of a better one!

In case you're not familiar with the 2005 meme classic that we reference in the podcast, we've got you covered.

Adam wants you to know that he's finished the first season of Legion, and while he's slightly mollified by the visual reference to Professor X, he's no more certain when the show is meant to be set. Clearly, THIS is the biggest mystery that the show presents us!

Finally, here's an article about how flat earthers tried to derail this Kickstarter campaign's Facebook ads! It's nice to know that there's nothing the internet can't make worse!

We're a Little Creeped Out by Paul in Episode 145!

8/19/2019

Some things are better left a mystery

OK, we admit that episode 145 doesn't start out on the right foot, but hang in there for a couple minutes and it's worth your while! And we do (eventually) get some context for Paul's almost TOO extensive knowledge of birds.

I'm sure you all know about the 30-50 feral hogs thing by now, but here is the specific meme Doug was referencing which... I dunno, I think some day an advanced species will find the wreckage of our civilization and spend decades trying to decode this one image, to no avail.

It looks like the Wisconsin Dells drive-in theatre didn't make it on to this list of the best drive-in theatres in America; I can only assume it's because Wisconsin isn't cracking down hard enough on people who leave all their lights on in their car while other people are just trying to watch creepy fake lions reenact Hamlet!

We Fight in the Mud in Episode 144!

8/5/2019

I'm so dejected, I just wanna rip my shirt off!

There's something for everyone to like in episode 144: binge drinking, hot men and women (but we would rather they didn't kiss, please!), and Sir Anthony Hopkins! Our Merry Marvel Movie March is really cooking now, especially since we're coming up on our THIRD iteration of Captain America in just two movies!

I'm sure by the time we finish this March, everyone will already know who Beta Ray Bill is. But for now, educate yourself!

It was cut from the podcast, but it turned out Charlie didn't know what Chekhov's gun was. Well, according to Wikipedia, it's a dramatic principle from Russian playwright Anton Chekhov, who's quoted as saying: "Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there." Wikipedia goes on to state that Anton Chekhov is the brother of Star Trek's Chekov, and that after the show ended the two of them went off to fight crimes together in the lawless American West of the 1880s, thus inspiring the long-running History Channel series Chek(h)ov Another Outlaw Off Your Wanted List. See, look at all the fun things we're learning together!

We Recount All of Human History in Episode 143!

7/22/2019

We'll teach our own kids about the space race some time in 2043

No special guests this week - just regular old guests Alex Clark and Paul Wilcox. But we do recount this year's June birthday gifts and give Charlie some much needed advice about his progeny, and since Alex is on it's not a question of WHETHER Charlie will sing a song, only how many!

The first expansion of Doctor Who - Time of the Daleks actually came out between the recording and now, so we've dated this episode in an entirely new and unexpected way!

We mention the Chonk Chart in passing; here it is in all its glory in case you haven't seen it!

Charlie was slightly incorrect about the Ice Cream Lick Challenge; the girl who originated it is a minor and thus hasn't been charged yet, but this guy was!

We did a deep dive into Star-Wars-As-a-Silent-Film, but that segment was cut for time and also interest. But here is the fruit of that search, which is definitely worth checking out!

A story about parenting advice, from Adam:

We Discover a New Element in Episode 142!

7/8/2019

I am sooo good at science!

This week's episode has us continuing our Merry Marvel Movie March with the 2010 film Iron Man 2. There's certainly a lot going on in this film, plot-wise, so our episode's a bit longer than usual. But if a podcast's quality is measured by sheer volume of content, surely we are knocking it out of the park this week! (Just kidding, it's a good episode!)

Nothing is quite as hilarious as promotional writing for sodas and junk food, so here's Liberty Dew!

Well, if you believe in retconning even the briefest of moments in 7-year-old movies, I guess that little boy was Peter Parker. Wait, does this mean Adam's "theory" about Peter's parents is right???

We Go Full Piscopo in Episode 141!

6/17/2019

Anyone would be proud to place this on their mantle

Happy Piscopo Day everyone! We couldn't resist releasing an episode on the great day itself, so here you go, a new episode, a week early! Joe himself would approve, we're sure. And so would Dojo Joe, Zombie Joe and Danny DeVito Joe!

The "Piscopo or No" segment was a rousing failure! Charle would like to point out that all the actual owners of the factoids stated were from New Jersey, and the person who appeared with Taylor Swift at the CMT awards was David Copperfield, and he made her disappear!

We need YOU! to go to Famous Birthdays.com and click the Boost button on Joe Piscopo's page! Help Joe make it on to the June 17 page!

We Go to Robin's Revenge in Episode 140!

6/10/2019

As long as they don't have knives or guns, I should be fine!

We eventually manage to talk about the 2010 movie Kick-Ass in the 30th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March. We just had a lot on our minds I guess and even more material was cut, including an extended section where Adam eats Popeye's for dinner which you may hear in an upcoming tag show!

I'm glad we picked Ted Cruz as our official mascot of the GW Report, because he always delivers.

Adam is pretty sure the garage sale in question was at Bishop and Grovenburg on the east side of Grovenburg, near Dimondale. More details to follow on the next episode, I'm sure!

Vanuatu was featured in the 9th season of Survivor. I'm sure you were dying to know this.

Quicksilver was HAWKEYE'S shield, not Thor's shield. We regret the error.

Fun fact: October Sky is an anagram of "Rocket Boys". Universal didn't think women would go see a movie called Rocket Boys so they changed the title. Despite the inherent sexism they were right because NO ONE would go see a movie called Rocket Boys.

We Light Our Backpacks on Fire in Episode 139!

5/27/2019

Casting call

Finally, we managed to get celebrated actor Q Jackson in the studio to discuss his part in the Wolfsmarine movie series. I say "celebrated" because I'm pretty sure he's had a birthday party before – at least I think he knows when his birthday is... all those mysterious van rides have thrown off his sense of time, though. But we're thankful Q was able to introduce us to his movies, from Eckqs Man Originals - Wolfsmarine to Teacher's Assistant Eckqs: The First Eckqs-Man to We Wish You a Wolfsmarine Christmas. Almost makes us want to start a Merry 'Marine Movie March...

Almost.

In any case, I was only able to track down some of the HD-DVDs myself. They are as follows:

• Teen Wolfsmarine
• The Wolfsmarine of Wall Street
• Brogan
• When Harry Met Wolfsmarine: A Romantic Horror Buddy Cop Film
• Mighty Morphing Power Wolfsmarine
• Wolfsmarine Visits Wolf's Marine: A Promotional Video
• AvPvW: Alien vs. Predator vs. Wolfsmarine
• The Death of Wolfsmarine
• Wolfsmarine Lives!
• The Death of Wolfsmarine II: This Time It's For Real
• Wolfsmarine Still Lives 2!
• Abbut & Kostillo Work Together With Wolfsmarine to Fight Frankenstein and Also Godzilla But Then They All Team Up to Punch and Stomp Nazis: A Love Story

We Fight in Every War in Episode 138!

5/14/2019

Was this Plan A...?

We've got our next installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March with X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Hugh Jackman made a good decision in making this film. Everyone else? Not so sure...

This movie actually turned Kara off from Marvel movies, many of which she had seen up to that point. She didn't like this movie for the following reasons:

• A waste of Ryan Reynolds
• Waste of the character Deadpool
• Was too ridiculous
• Not enough Ryan Reynolds

When Charlie was talking about Patrick Stewart's agelessness, he was thinking of this meme.

Hey, our government has been doing weird and horrible things for its entire existence. Exhibit A: MKUltra. But at least it's not just the US! Here's the footage of British soldiers after they were unknowingly dosed with LSD that Adam mentioned.

We Travel to Foreign Lands in Episode 137!

4/29/2019

I don't care if it's only been in the fryer for 10 seconds, get that orange chicken out here now!

Paul really gives us all the highlights of his trip to Japan in episode 137, but first we discuss the restaurant that you've probably all been to: the Manchu Wok in the Chicago O'Hare airport! Come for the 2 star meal, stay for the low ceilings and dim lighting!

Adam mentioned fighting on top of the Shinkansen bullet train in Japan, and was mostly thinking of this scene, which is a taste of what's to come in our Merry Marvel Movie March!

Miso Kit-Kats do exist (although you'll probably never get your hands on one)!

Want to watch all five Souls games completed without any hits? Check out this Kotaku article which links to The Happy Hob and his amazing run.

Here's that physics crap that Adam was talking about... Nerd.

We Roll Around in a Vat of Broken Glass in Episode 136!

4/15/2019

The best way for the Church to connect with the youth these days is to string up colored lights

We may have found our favorite director so far in Lexi Alexander with installment 28 of our Merry Marvel Movie March, the 2008 movie Punisher: War Zone. Too bad the movie was hamstrung by studio notes and then buried with basically no advertising at Christmas time. Oh well, I'm sure the Marvel Movie Universe will have another female director sometime soon! Let's take a look.... hmmm... uh well I guess it took 11 years to get a female co-director again.

At least it appears that some folks have finally found this movie. After reading this, I truly wish I existed in the universe where this was successful enough that Lexi Alexander was given the reins for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.

We Celebrate All the Days in Episode 135!

4/1/2019

Fun Fact: The band Sparks didn't know they were posing for this photo!

We all know that "April Fool's Fatigue" is a real thing, so we keep it short, sweet, and earnest in episode 135. Well, as much as usual anyway!

Hey, James Gunn is back, and he gets to direct even more than before! Since he ultimately has more work, I'm not sure what the lesson is here. Draw your own conclusions I guess?

Oh Taika, you devil you! On a related note, can I please get a job writing articles about celebrity tweets?

One Day at a Time was actually pretty entertaining and tackled weightier subjects than its premise required, for which I give it credit. Netflix, however, doesn't deserve that credit anymore.

Here's a Matt Nathanson performance, and I'd just love to see Jason King try and stop us from posting it. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

They didn't do the full song, but the Top of the Pops appearance for "This Town Isn't Big Enough For Both of Us" is really amazing. Just watch Ron Mael (the keyboardist). The legend is that when this aired in 1974, John Lennon called up Ringo and told him to turn it on, because Marc Bolan (of T.Rex) was on Top of the Pops with Hitler.

Here's the Rugburns song "Dick's Automotive" on which Weird Al's "Albuquerque" is based. And Weird Al's Sparks style parody "Virus Alert"!

We Feel Sorry for a Disposable Love Interest in Episode 134!

3/18/2019

Tastes Great, and Rarely Causes Gamma Poisoning!

In case you weren't aware, it is the third month of the year. That means we're smack dab in the middle of Merry Marvel Movie March Madness! Hence, our newest episode is a review of the 2008 film The Incredible Hulk. This movie is so ambitious, it attempts to be all genres simultaneously!

Paul mentions that many high quality films carry a wheat symbol on the promotional material, or symbols from other organizations attempting to confuse the average film goer. Turns out this is a Palme d'Or palm branch, not wheat. But as Paul clarifies, it really is just the presence of wheat in the movie itself that impresses him, so no harm no foul.

Adam clues us in to a Rick Jones reference in the film's intro. Here's who that is in case you are interested. He's a professional sidekick - no shame in that!

We Indulge in Extrajudicial Killing in Episode 133!

3/4/2019

No courts, no rules!

We've got a LOT of guests in installment 26 of our Merry Marvel Movie March as we review the 2008 movie Iron Man. That's no surprise - it's a beloved movie and may denote a general upward trend in the March! Our worst days may be behind us, as long as we live in willful ignorance of things like Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and Fant4stic...

Ike Perlmutter finally lost control of Marvel Studios in 2015, and he wasn't well-liked. Good riddance!

And another article from Joanna Robinson over at Vanity Fair, this time an interview with Kevin Feige, Jon Favreau, Avi Arad, and Robert Downey Jr., looking back at the making of Iron Man!

Iron Man kills people - it's documented fact!

Terrence Howard is a unique fella, and has developed the science of Terryology. I mean, I don't get it, but you do you, Terrence.

And in case you didn't know who the Corruptor was when Doug mentioned him, well, now you do!

We Stomp Our Feet in Episode 132!

2/18/2019

They fly all over the place

We've nabbed our most famous guests ever as the members of the 70's anthem band Cuiin join us in episode 132! Well, I suppose the ghost of Aaron Burr is pretty famous, now that he's the co-subject of a popular musical. And Frankie Muniz is no slouch either! I guess we've been attracting some exciting folks onto the show recently...

By the way, the gag order in place that kept us from talking about those lawsuits and playing those songs has been lifted! Maybe next time we have Cuiin on they'll be a little more forthcoming about their activities. More of a "yes and" attitude, perhaps.

Before you feel compelled to post pics of your Super Bowl dip on social media: a cautionary tale.

Is it weird that when everyone else was talking about Ultra Instinct Shaggy I thought they were talking about the musician? I guess the origin of the name is the same...

And it just wouldn't be a full episode if we didn't talk about multiple memes, so here's Big Chungus!

We Yell at Space Clouds in Episode 131!

2/4/2019

Hello, anybody in there?!

Our Merry Marvel Movie March is right on the cusp of the MCU, but first we've got to get through our episode on Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Not sure why they call the movie that? Neither are we, so we spend more time than is probably required speculating on just that subject!

The movie's director, Tim Story, talked a bit with ScreenCrush in 2014 about the tone of superhero movies and the fact that he may not have been able to go full Galactus in this iteration of the franchise.

Oh yeah, remember when Charlie was doing webcomics for Adam's birthday? We still have those, and one is currently relevant to this episode!

We Improve Ourselves Via an Evil Symbiote in Episode 130!

1/21/2019

Double finger guns?? This guy gets it!

For those of you nostalgic for the old Tobey Maguire Spider-Man after watching either Venom or Into the Spider-Verse, our Merry Marvel Movie March has got you covered with episode 130, all about Spider-Man 3! Not the movie you were hoping for? Well at least the movie is only... 2 hours 19 minutes?!

And while we may have decided Spider-Man 3 isn't the worst of all movies, apparently Sam Raimi doesn't agree! But at least Thomas Haden Church had a good time, as this interview from 2018 makes clear. (Although the interviewer somehow neglects to talk to him about Wings...)

We've probably mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: Emo Spider-Man Without Music!

We Try to Juice the System in Episode 129!

1/7/2019

No time to stop, just throw it in the back and take an Uber home!!

Charlie finally did it; he deleted an account! Aren't you excited? Well you can get his intense take on social media in episode 129, and hopefully you won't be quite as dismayed as Adam!

Are you juicing Limes or Birds? Enquiring minds want to know!

And we know that you rely on us for all your breaking ROM news, so read this article, and this one! And that sweet Pokemon meme ca. 2016, just in case you'd rather see the visual representation than listen to Paul's description.

ALF's Special Christmas!!!!

12/24/2018

ALF wore it better

Welcome back, ALF-coholics! We've finally made it!! This week on ALF-a and Omega, Chip and I review "ALF's Special Christmas", my favorite episode of the series! This one also contains two of my "Top Five Most Heartwarming ALF Moments", but you'll have to wait for our end-of-the-year round up to see which moments those are. Which are YOUR favorite moments?? Send us some Tweets or Instagrams to let us know, or send your pick on a postcard to the usual P.O. box that we announce at the end of each show.

I'm sorry that it took this episode so long to get to you; I had some ransomware I had to deal with for several months. A very special THANK YOU to my parents who let me use their Mastercard to unlock my laptop! During the Holiday Season it's always good to remember that bad credit is temporary, but the love of your son is forever! <3

I am also proud to announce that in the New Year ALF-a and Omega is starting its very own Patreon account! We are hoping that we can reach our goal of $1500 per month so that we can continue to deliver content to you at the same stellar quality that you've become accustomed to. Guest fees for someone like "Dimebag" Dennis aren't cheap, and I've found that they also sometimes accidentally leave with my audio recording equipment. Oh well, it's really my fault for not telling him not to take it!

We Literally Blaze a Trail in Episode 127!

12/10/2018

Modeled on Nic Cage's actual skull. (That's true!)

Apparently we needed a little break after X-Men: The Last Stand, but we're back in episode 127 to talk about Ghost Rider, the 23rd edition of our Merry Marvel Movie March! The actual MCU is right around the corner, so thanks for hanging in there with us! Not that you don't love all these movies too, of course.

In this installment of "Paul's Meme corner": The Cop Who Likes Space Jam

Adam says no one really asked Charlie what he meant when he referred to the "comic book style" of the film Ghost Rider. He was referring mostly to the overall visual aesthetic, especially color palette and color tone. While not going as far as the literal "panelling" of Ang Lee's Hulk or as stark color contrast as something like Sin City, the influence of the illustrated page definitely seemed to be there. At least, in his opinion.

Here's an article about different extended cuts that you might find interesting (and at the very least explains why we passed on watching the extended cut of this movie, even though we went to the trouble watching the director's cut of Daredevil).

We Talk To Two Frankies in Episode 126

11/26/2018

And the tweeting wouldn't even be that bad by itself... it's all the RE-tweeting!

The newest Skype update appears to have bridged the gap between various realities, which is on display in episode 126. Now if they'd just bring back the old GUI it might not be a horrible program!

Alex makes reference to an Anthony Jeselnik routine, and we always give proper attribution!

Ah yes, Tay, the Microsoft conversation bot! Proving once again that there's nothing that trolls can't ruin in 16 hours!

Now that I'm aware Ed Balls Day exists, we'll probably have to commemorate it on the podcast in April.

We Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle in Episode 125!

11/12/2018

They're harder to eat when you know they had a personality...

We've gotten into the habit of having fun conversations BEFORE we start the podcast proper, but luckily Charlie is always recording! That's how we got our latest clips episode, so it's all for your benefit! And while he also does keep all incriminating sound bites, he saves those as potential blackmail, so you won't find any of that here. Maybe in episode 175...?

And you may have noticed that this, our third tag show, is called "Tag Show 2". This is definitely because we don't consider episode 50 to be a true tag show and most assuredly not at all because Charlie forgot about that episode when he named this one.

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie played in 877 theaters - United Passions only played in 10. And to be fair, Solo: A Star Wars Story did better than both of those.

Here's that link again for the despecialized versions of the Star Wars trilogy.

While personally we feel like "spider milk" is disgusting and needs no further explanation, here's some info on BioSteel and goat milk with silk in it for those of you who are weirdos.

If you missed one particular day in Twitter history, you can read about the "funded" "remake" of The Last Jedi.

And finally, the full sandwich chart that you see above.

We Compartmentalize Our Untapped Potential in Episode 124

10/29/2018

10% of the main characters in this film

In an attempt to fight against the ceaseless tide of the Merry Marvel Movie March we present to you episode 124! It's not nearly our highest-rated film, but it is certainly the next chronologically. You would have a hard time arguing with that!

Here's that Juggernaut proto-meme that Paul knows so much about. It turns out we stumbled into a segment of "Paul Explains the Internet" and didn't even realize it!

Doug mentioned it in the podcast, but we ended up cutting it for time, so here's a piece of info for you: Shohreh Aghdashloo, who plays Dr. Kavita Rao (one of the mutant cure scientists) would go on to play Agent Madani's mother Farah in the Netflix series The Punisher, thus continuing her Marvel connections! Oh, and you may have seen her in Star Trek Beyond (she's the commander of Starbase Yorktown) or The Expanse – so now you know why she seems familiar to you!

We Preorder Vanity License Plates in Episode 123!

10/15/2018

Did I also mention I'm the ruler of Latveria? Yes, that's a thing!

While none of the Fantastic Four films is a top tier Marvel movie, it is interesting to see which one will be the best of the bunch. Is it the 2005 version? Listen to the episode to see what we think! Or I guess you could just look at our Merry Marvel Movie March scorecard which is easier but less entertaining...

Simpsons reference alert! Here's the Juice Loosener!

We don't know much about Phase 4 of the MCU, but we do know that one of the projects actively being worked on is an Eternals movie. Eternals! That alone should give hope to the thought of some day doing 2099 stuff...

We Eventually Introduce Ourselves in Episode 122!

10/1/2018

The strip really is like "Goofus and Gallant", but for dogs

How will we ever explain the never-ending pantheon of failed junk food products to our children? I guess episode 122 is a good start. And along the way they can learn about "Nancy" and "Marmaduke".

Here's a link to the Mournin' Pete's Barbeque shirt that Doug is talking about, created by artist Branson Reese.

Although Charlie was joking, it appears the original formula for Coca-Cola had coriander oil in it. So it WAS cilantro-based!

Pepsi Blue is still available in Indonesia! We have a Reddit link to prove it!

We'd like to point out that "Disenchantment" runs about 25 minutes per episode, with about 3 minutes after that of strictly international credits. More importantly, by the end of the first season Doug was a big fan!

Arby's actually has a secret menu. That the public can access via their website. In any case, here is the fabled Meat Mountain. It isn't actually listed in their nutrition facts but the individual items are, so you can add them up yourself! Nothing like a little calorie accounting to build up your appetite and make you aware of your own fragile mortality. However, the Arch Deluxe only has a Wikipedia page to continue its legacy. (I assume; I'm too lazy to actually go looking.)

We Discuss a Giant-Size Man-Thing in Episode 121!

9/17/2018

The Man-Thing wins again! Shame we can't say the same for the audience...

Our Merry Marvel Movie March carries on with a special BONUS episode: that's right, our 20th installment of the March covers the 2005 direct-to-Sci-Fi-Channel "hit" Man-Thing! Should the movie have gone to theatres, the way they originally intended? Absolutely not, and we have a grand time discussing why! The movie may have sucked, but our discussion was a success!

And yes, this is a bonus episode, partly because we didn't want to devote a regularly-timed episode to such a poor film, but also because we wanted to try and gain some ground in the March. Well, it's always nice to dream, I feel. But hey! Somewhat surprisingly, our Merry Marvel Movie Song-Off is back! How was the song? Listen and judge for yourself!

There was indeed a comic called Giant-Size Man-Thing! Sometimes it's the sophomoric joys of life that make it all worthwhile...

So given that he seems to be a hybrid of man and plant, why isn't he just called Plantman? Well, probably because the name was already taken.

And in case you're not up to speed on your Papa Roach memes, we're here to help.

We Flip the Script in Episode 120!

9/10/2018

Are there Photoshop awards??

You asked for it, and now you've got it! The Gobeskis Report returns with not-special guest Charlie Wallace from the podcast Cinematic Respect. Haven't heard The Gobeskis Report before? Perhaps you've stepped into the wrong universe. So whatever portal you passed through, or genius invention gone awry you've used, or evil witch you've double-crossed... just do the opposite of that and you should be back to where you came from. Or succumb to some fate worse than Death, but in either case it won't be our problem anymore!

And of course, we only get this episode out AFTER Laura Dern and Steven Spielberg save the Earth, yet again. Take that, general movie-going public!

The identity of the Masked Magician has finally been revealed! And as is custom amongst the magic community, he was beheaded for his Crimes Against Illusion. But beheaded in the "Magic Show" sense, so he's just fine.

We Forget About Christmas in Episode 119!

8/27/2018

This isn't the first -- or last -- archery we'll see in the MMMM...

Installment 19 of our Merry Marvel Movie March has us reviewing the 2005 film Elektra and Adam had our expectations set low on this one. But, I think it's safe to say this movie exceeded those expectations! Just barely!

Here's a little primer on Typhoid Mary, though I'm not sure it's necessary since the movie has a character who is nothing like this.

At the beginning of the episode, we hear some "Neko Atsume" in the background. It's a fun adorable mobile cat game, and definitely more worthwhile than Elektra.

I talk about the intro to Dracula Untold which is actually interesting visually, but pretty stupid from a screenplay standpoint. Work it into the script, dummies!

We Test Our Wits in Episode 118!

8/13/2018

I am not an answer in Trivia Showdown Volume 1. Perhaps Volume 2...?

Alex Clark is back to tell us about his new book Trivia Showdown in episode 118! Adam and Charlie go head to head in a no-holds-barred trivia brawl! Only one can end up in the winner's circle: who will be victorious?? (Probably the Rock.)

And yes, obviously you should buy Trivia Showdown! Charlie put his money where his mouth is and bought his copy last week, so you should too! And we'll make sure to let you know when Volume 2 arrives next month!

Want to annoy your pedantic friends? Well now you can do so without saying a word with an annoying shirt!

We considered linking to the "Remake the Last Jedi" campaign, but decided at best it would be "feeding the trolls", at worst "feeding the delusional fanboys". You can Google it if you really care to find it.

Remember when Charlie talked about Henry Cavill's mustache in another episode? Here's the story behind that, and sorry for the late link!

We Deal with a Bored Dracula in Episode 117!

7/30/2018

Let me explain to you, a half-vampire, how vampires work!

Our most recent Merry Marvel Movie March installment comes to you thanks to frequent guest Doug Gobeski, who graciously allowed us to hang out with him for the weekend and record episode 117. As a result, there were a lot of bits that weren't recorded and simply went out into the aether. What a waste, right? If the Surveillance State picked up any of that and could give us a copy it would be much appreciated.

Here's that AV Club article where Patton Oswalt talks about the production of Blade: Trinity. He makes it sound like fun though!

As we mention in the show, Ryan Reynolds did his own fight scenes and was slammed into a concrete floor multiple times. Why not a rubber floor you ask? Because it didn't look believable! I think it woulda looked cool if he had bounced a few times though. I mean, he IS fighting against a vampire!

Wesley Snipes memes courtesy The AV Club again. I don't see Blade IRL yet though! We'd better get started though, it is the logical progression of things.

After looking it up, Adam now knows that Stealth is not really "The Fast and the Furious with planes", though you'd be hard pressed to make the distinction simply from the trailer.

I have no idea what the Skarp Laser Razor is, but it sure is fun to say out loud!

Here's at least part of the reason we keep saying "hella sick" during the show.

And proof that "izzle" was at its height around 2005. Don't ever say we aren't expert trend archivists!

We Argue About Clipping in Episode 116!

7/16/2018

Why does he keep looking in there and then saying "Milk truk just arive"?

We come up with a stable, profitable business model in episode 116 but it's not without its problems. After all, there's a lot of overhead in those sweet transparent screen overlays. Plus, you want just the right level of crappy coffee to keep your customers jacked-up on caffeine and irritable!

In case you need conversation topics, here's Topix! If I knew I could have made a living photoshopping fake animals, that's what I'd be doing right now, but c'est la vie.

These birds are jacked!!!

Ever wonder what the world would be like if humans were replaced with pigeons? And you had to date them? Hatoful Boyfriend is the game that no one asked for, but we all need in times like these!

Turns out that you have to be an avid reddit user to understand this episode. Here's the context for "milk truk just arive". And an article on the state of Japan's video game bars will help provide some additional context.

Tony makes a quick reference to searching "Jeremy-style", which refers to an acquaintance who thought that his search history couldn't be accessed as long as he never typed anything into the search bar. Thus he would find his way to YouTube videos by clicking through the suggested other videos until he found the one he wanted. (So searching via dead reckoning, essentially.) If it were only so...

The bonkers trailer for Mandy is widely available. It really is something.

Tim Allen may have forgotten about his Home Improvement family, but now you'll never forget about him with this Tim Allen Doom mod!

There is only one TV show ever, and this proves it!

We Get All Warm and Fuzzy About New Yorkers in Episode 115!

7/2/2018

Finally, we can begin the Hal Sparks cinematic universe

We continue our Merry Marvel Movie March with episode 115, in which we discuss Spider-Man 2! Once again, this is one that is vying for best-reviewed Marvel movie so far! Is it better than the first Spider-Man film because Peter Parker's angst is more justified this time around? Or is it those sweet octopus arms, which are arguably more impressive than nuclear fusion?

If you're wondering what the difference is between the extended and theatrical cuts of the film, you can check that out right here. And it turns out that pivotal Hal Sparks scene is different in the original version versus the extended version! Just more Hal Sparks coming at ya!

Oops, we forgot that Aisha Tyler hosted "Talk Soup" for a bit, before it was converted to "The Soup" with Joel McHale. Also, the first host was Greg Kinnear, which we never really brought up but we thought was cool!

The podcasts we talk about in the show are called "U Talkin' U2 To Me?" and "R U Talkin' R.E.M. RE: ME" (all of it is in the same podcast feed). In those shows, Scott and Scott run down everything you need to know about those two bands, including the names of all the members!

We Revisit the Clone Facility in Episode 114!

6/18/2018

Turns out sports fans are superstitious and prone to scapegoating. Who knew?

Hooray, it's Piscopo Day once again and we're celebrating with our newest episode! And we've got a very special guest who's a clone of one of our other guests. It almost seems like too much to pack into one episode. I assure you though, IT IS NOT!

If you are some sort of monster who doesn't have every panel of every Calvin and Hobbes comic memorized, here is what Adam refers to in the episode.

Paul mentions Uma Musume which an anime that chronicles "the story of aspiring Horse Girls". Umm, "aspiring"? So they aren't already horse girls? Then how does one become a horse girl? Is it the result of intense training, or some sort of magical spell...? OR BOTH? I can see why this is so compelling!

Adam's mention of Jet Bradley is from Tron 2.0, so here's a little context. I guess it's short for Jethro, so maybe there are more Jets out there than we thought!

In case you don't know who Wally Pleasant is, here's his homepage.

And when you want Ted Cruz schadenfreude, where better to go than HuffPo?

We (Eventually) Avenge Our Family in Episode 113!

6/4/2018

The explosives only took him 3 working days to set up!

More MMMM action coming at you with the 2004 smash The Punisher! Wait, did I say smash? I meant we hated it. What was wrong with it? Listen and find out! And don't worry, Spider-Man 2 is up next!

Turns out audiences went for The Bourne Supremacy over Catwoman for some reason... who knew? If only they hadn't come out on the same weekend, presumably all those people who saw Bourne would've watched Catwoman instead and made it a huge success! It's the only possible explanation!

Doug apparently made a jet-ski reference that none of us picked up on. Here's the context, though the advice contained within seems somewhat obvious to me...

Yes, Ben Affleck is keen to dismantle the things that made him famous, including this takedown of Armageddon. Geez, the guy gets ONE Best Picture win and it goes to his head!

We Forget Important Things at Burger King in Episode 112!

5/21/2018

This is gonna be an epic road trip!

We step out of our wheelhouse with episode 112, which sees us talking about icing, vaping, and other subjects we don't actually know anything about! We also discuss lying to strangers in order to avoid feelings of shame in front of them, which unfortunately IS a situation we're all too familiar with...

You may not remember the hottest frat trend of 2010, but the White House Office of Presidential Personnel does! And while it seems that the Bros Icing Bros website itself only lasted for about 71 days, some people still carry the flame. And fortunately for you, Know Your Meme has you covered. I particularly like the Ice Block, mainly because of the absurdity of frat boys being forced to constantly carry bottles of Smirnoff Ice around with them.

You may not know who Boris Johnson is, but the short version is that he's a former mayor of London who became the UK Foreign Secretary and was pro-Brexit. This link might be more useful; the most surprising thing to me was the correlation with Taylor Swift fans...

Adam's pretty sure this was the story he read about the problems with digital film preservation. He also wanted to make it known that Paul's mention of a "social credit score system" reminded him of this episode of The Orville, as well as this episode of Community. (Yep, it's MeowMeowBeenz; was there really any doubt?)

We Get Angry and Smash Things as Expected in Episode 111!

5/7/2018

So do I use the tangent of theta to calculate the force on this lever arm... oh well... HULK SMASH!

We're back from our reboot with the next installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March with the 2003 film Hulk! It's great to get back to the grind, because we've decided MMMM is part of the "New Canon"! And the summer will NOT be kind to us as far as getting to the end of the March; it'll be hard to keep up, what with all the new Marvel releases!

We mention Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, which we already did an episode about! Does that mean we have to review it again? Please say no... [Maybe we can con persuade Kara and Brianne to do that episode instead. –Ed.]

Here's some info on Big Mood. In case you were wondering. Is it clear now?

And here'a a link to the definition of "lampshading", so that everyone understands what it means and Adam never has to explain it again!

We Celebrate a New Canon in Episode 110!

4/23/2018

Oh yes, I DID just say that! I'm such a bad little boy!

Everyone deserves a fresh start now and then... so we present to you episode 110! I assure you it is WILDLY different from previous episodes. For instance, we talk about VIDEO GAMES and MOVIES and CHARLIE SINGS SEVERAL SONGS... well, I guess the more things change the more they stay the same – but this does give us a chance to spruce up the look of the site here and flesh out our back stories!

(Does our site not look radical(ly different) to you? You may need to force a hard refresh!)

We were mostly correct in our assumptions about Steven Spielberg's comments about Netflix, although he is making a broader statement about Hollywood as well. Still, if Spielberg says it, it's news!

In case you were a little lost with our Star Wars references, here's some info on Mara Jade and Luuke Skywalker. But who am I kidding; if you're listening to our show you probably already know who they are!

Adam has talked enough about the Despecialized Editions of Star Wars that we feel like we should now include a link. And yes, it IS a Google doc...

Speaking of fixing things that are broken, here's a way to play the Atari 2600 version of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial in a way that actually ain't half bad!

Good Lord, here is QWOP. It would be frustrating if it weren't so hilarious. Adam's record is currently 3.7 meters. Charlie's is -2.1 meters.

The font in the new header for the website is called "Neon" by Fenotype; credit where credit is due.

We Cruz into the Future in Episode 109!

4/9/2018

We've wrestled with this snake long enough, time to move on!

We welcome our youngest guest ever in episode 109! You'll have to forgive him for not disclosing his location of origin - if Logan has taught me anything, it's that secret genetic experimentation facilities are secret for a reason! But hopefully his nanny can sneak him out at some point in the future for another visit...

Adam thought about it long and hard, and here are his favorite Ruffles flavors in order from best to worst for you to contemplate!

• All-Dressed
• Cheddar & Sour Cream
• Jalapeño Ranch
• Sour Cream & Onion
• Mozzarella 'n Marinara
• Original
• Flaming Hot
• the de-seasoned version of Ruffles, licked off by hand, left to dry in the sun, and then re-crinkled
• no Ruffles at all
• Queso

Here's that link to Ted Cruz's Google + Page for those of you who didn't manage to write down the link when listening to the episode!

Trapped in the Closet does need to be at least partially experienced, if only to better appreciate Trapped in the Drive-Thru. And here is a link to that handy-dandy chart that you can use while you are watching these epic hip-hoperas!

Another shout-out to Nathan Rabin's Happy Place and The Weird Accordion to Al, keep doing the good work Mr. Rabin!

We Link Brains with Everyone on Earth in Episode 108!

3/26/2018

So I guess we're friends now...? We're not happy about it either.

It's the final episode of Merry Marvel Movie March Madness, our review of X2. We've definitely got a candidate for best Marvel movie so far; will it make the cut?

Adam was looking around for a link to the "Bad Dudes" ending and found this website. That's some old school internet action going on! I'm still holding out hope for an update any day now...

Lucky you, here is Bernard and the Genie on YouTube! Adam would like you to know that it's legitimately one of his favorite Christmas films. Also, Alan Cumming was in GoldenEye, which we somehow failed to mention in the show!

Comic Lady Deathstrike is indeed a cyborg. Doug, unsurprisingly, was correct.

I guess we were wrong about Patty Jenkins not controlling the ending of Wonder Woman, and here is an article detailing her justification of it. We regret the error!

Finally, here's a link to the Cinematic Respect episode where we discuss Solaris!

We Discuss the Value of Sex Scenes in Episode 107!

3/19/2018

Box-office tested, Charlie approved

Merry Marvel Movie March Madness continues with a special BONUS podcast added to the schedule: the 2003 movie Daredevil! And not only do we discuss the rather maligned theatrical release, but we also take the time to watch the somewhat-less-maligned Director's Cut as well! Lucky us, but more importantly, lucky you!

We had to cut it from the finished podcast for time, but we did do a Merry Marvel Movie March Song-Off for this movie. However, once we realized that the song in question was in fact Fuel's "Won't Back Down" and not actually Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life", we all became much less enthusiastic about the prospect, and we all decided it was at the bottom of our list of songs as a pretty generic nu-metal song. Or, as Paul put it, "You know it's bad when you're like, 'Yeah, I definitely like "Hero" more than this. I definitely prefer Chad Kroeger.'" Maybe as a society we could collectively agree that the Daredevil song should just be "Bring Me to Life" instead?

We briefly mention the existence of Matt Murdock's "twin" brother Mike. Here's a link if you want to learn more about that particular storyline. Or you could just look at the image, that does it justice as well.

From Daredevil #25 (Feb. 1967)

Oh, and by the way, this is actually Adam writing the blog this time around instead of Charlie. He's off leveling up his Uncle skill, which I think means he can craft nephews out of Dragon Scales now? I'm a bit hazy on the details. But! He still took the time to give us the physics calculation mentioned in the podcast, of how much force it would take for Bullseye to kill Elektra's dad the way we see in the movie! So take it away, Charlie:

tl:dr; Very improbable, unless Bullseye has the throwing strength of a roided-out Hercules.

We Make a Strong Case Against Sequels in Episode 106!

3/12/2018

Not so much thought-provoking as... dumb.

We're back with the 12th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March! And it's the start of our Merry Marvel Movie March Madness, meaning March will be filled with Marvel movie goodness! We'll resume non-Marvel things in April, in case Marvel's not your thing for some unfathomable reason.

I don't suppose anyone was really expecting us to rate Men in Black II very highly in episode 106. But that's what you get when you get rid of the best thing about a movie (Patrick Warburton) in the first 10 minutes. Though stick around to the end, since there is a contender for best Merry Marvel Movie March Original Song!

Paul has explained the internet again, and you should watch Dear Stephanie Meyer by Lindsay Ellis on YouTube!

Here's the links to Black Suits Comin' (Nod Ya Head) and Hero (again). Remember to play them at faster speeds, the way the artists (should have) intended!

We're Ambivalent About Midnight in Episode 105!

2/26/2018

5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Happy New... oh wait...

Adam decided to celebrate New Year's a little bit late, hence episode 105. Of course, we were all together on Skype for ANOTHER reason, one which will be apparent to you in the coming weeks. But I guess ideas just flow like delicious Welch's Sparking Grape Juice when we're all together, so bang, another episode in the bag!

You should definitely be following us on Twitter... but you should also definitely be following the official account of Moon Pies.

Paul's Saturn V rocket!

Oh no, turns out those rumors about 50 Cent's Bitcoin were just rumors! Also, I just got to use the phrase "50 Cent's Bitcoin"!

Have any ideas for Hollywood Pokemon evolutions? Let us know! Here are some examples:

Beau Bridges >> Jeff Bridges >> Lloyd Bridges

Rob Schneider >> Kevin James >> Adam Sandler

Randy Quaid >> Dennis Quaid >> Skyler Quaid

We're Angstier Than We Remember in Episode 104!

2/12/2018

When you're this good an actor, your mirror image is the only scene partner that will do!

Welcome back to installment 11 of our Merry Marvel Movie March - this time we review the 2002 blockbuster Spider-Man! Now that we're getting to the middle of this March, it's gonna feel slower. No more huge time jumps; this is actually the second of three movies in 2002 that we're reviewing! And with 7 Marvel movies coming out in 2018, we'll be at this forever. Not to worry, we'll get to Black Panther some time in 2024!

Turns out Bruce Campbell is NOT in every Sam Raimi movie, but he is in a lot. He beats Ted Raimi, surprisingly!

Uncle Ben's killer does not have an official name; he's apparently referred to only as "The Burglar". Except, in some media, he is called Dennis Carradine, but not in the main comics! And in the Sam Raimi movies, he's called...but we'll get to that when we talk about Spider-Man 3.

Adam had meant to bring up that the World Trade Center actually featured in the original trailer, because it was made pre-9/11. It's a specially-filmed trailer, so if you want to see it, here you go.

We Mourn Admiral Snackbar in Episode 103!

1/29/2018

Eight...?

Apologies that episode 103 is not exactly "ripped from the headlines". Turns out there is a production schedule and sometimes we can't get these episodes out instantaneously! But we've got a lot lined up for you in 2018, including a special podcast project and perhaps some Merry Marvel Movie March Madness!

Here's a list of the highest points in each of these United States! Delaware is number 49 in terms of elevation; only Florida is lower. I think the only list Florida tops is the list of "Most Frequently Appearing at the Bottom of Lists".

Rotten Tomatoes still has The Last Jedi with a greater than 90% critic score as of this posting. The audience score is quite a bit lower, if you care what rabid internet trolls think.

And the Anakin meme we discuss in the show, if you're interested in the visual form. I always enjoy our audible descriptions better though (I may be in the minority there).

Finally, our list of the Star Wars episodes, from favorite to least favorite.

• Alex: 5, 4, 2, 6, 7, 1, 8, 3, R1
• Doug: 5, 4, 3, 6, 8, R1, 2, 7, 1
• Adam: 5, 4, 6, 8, 3, R1, 7, 1 / 2 (tie)
• Charlie: 5, 8, 4, 6, 7, R1, 3, 1, 2

We Betray Each Other in Utterly Predictable Ways in Episode 102!

1/15/2018

The source of unimaginable power

We're back from our holiday hiatus with our 10th installment of our Merry Marvel Movie March, our discussion of Blade II! That means Spider-Man is up next, and we really get into the thick of this Movie March.

Adam put together a quick list of what a DC-related Movie March would look like, which you can access here. That's... a lot of serials. Hopefully they have as much wanton killing as Captain America!

io9 agrees that Blade II is an important Guillermo del Toro work, but they don't agree that it's any good. Well, not everything can be Pan's Labyrinth, so I don't know what they're complaining about. Plus, how could anyone predict that the betrayers would betray the other betrayers or... wait, what was the plot of this movie?

In case you were confused about Paul's Olsen twin reference, here's John Oliver discussing the conspiracy. Every good show has a conspiracy segment these days!

We Create the Most Amazing App in Episode 101!

12/17/2017

**WARNING: SKYLERS INCOMING!!**

Unfortunately, episode 101 was actually recorded BEFORE episode 100, so you won't be hearing any The Boss Baby references. Although you'll be hearing plenty about boys and daddies, in case you were worried...

As Adam pointed out, the band Right Said Fred is named after a song... which is actually pretty catchy? It's all about taking the time to think about how to approach a problem ahead of time, which is a lesson I think is very useful in this busy universe!

And as I was Googling "right said fred photos" I kept seeing Taylor Swift, and was intrigued. In the interest of letting you know about all of the internet rabbit holes I go down, here's why that is.

So Skylert is still in beta, but there's still some keys available! Unfortunately, we need more Skylers to sign up, and we're all out of keys for the Sky-curious/non-Skylers. We MAY even accept some S'kylers, though we will have to review your application thoroughly. The integrity of the app is important to us, and we think it shows! We've also now realized that the app can help you AVOID Skylers if that's your thing, but we can't imagine those folks would be a large portion of our user base...

We Finally Make It to Episode 💯!

12/4/2017

Not featured: Billy Crystal and Frankie Muniz

We did it everyone, it's episode 💯! We genuinely want to thank everyone for listening and all the guests who have participated over the years. We got together a lot of past guests to record this one over the Thanksgiving weekend and it was a blast. Anyway, enough earnestness!

All right, for all of you who don't know the foods and drinks we're campaigning to bring back, here's a list:

We Electrocute Toads in Episode 99!

11/20/2017

See, the key to driving is, you've got to do it with one hand while smoking a cigar and looking at the passenger. This is just one of the many lessons I have for you!

We finally kick off the 2000's and the whole comic book movie trend with our review of X-Men, episode 99 and #9 in our Merry Marvel Movie March. While it's perhaps the most transitional of the Marvel films, it's also still pretty entertaining; if you haven't seen it before we recommend you check it out!

Umm... so... we weren't aware of the allegations against Bryan Singer when we recorded this. We probably would have avoided bringing him up entirely, despite the fact he directed this movie – or at least we might have mentioned the issue in passing. Ah well, just another one of our awkward moments caused by the multiple week delay between recording and posting the episode!

Doug is slightly wrong when he talks about how other countries refer to "Cool Ranch" Doritos. In the UK, they are called "Cool Original". Doug wonders if this is somehow Brexit-related, but it mostly just bothers me that they don't recognize our country's largest contribution to the snacking world. I'm considering a strongly worded letter, but this blogpost will have to do in the meantime.

Wait a minute... episode 99...? That means episode 100 is right around the corner!!! Make sure to submit those questions to our Facebook page if you want to hear us talk about something when we record this coming Friday! [There's still time to request that Charlie sing more songs! –Adam]

We Get Technical in Episode 98!

11/6/2017

Where trolling was born!

So AOL Instant Messenger is kaput, and what better way to honor its memory than episode 98? Well, I personally pay tribute by ignoring people's texts on my phone, instead of on my desktop computer. Some things never change!

This episode also marks the podcast debut of our good friend Dan Hess, who may be the most erudite guest we've had on yet! (Sorry, Alex Baldwin!) As you listen you may notice how much more sophisticated the conversation gets, despite me and Adam's best efforts...

Wait a minute, episode 98? That means episode 100 is just around the corner! And you can contribute by sending us questions you want answered, via our Facebook page. Our guests will be forced to talk about whatever you choose, so choose wisely!

We Try to Ice Skate Uphill in Episode 97!

10/23/2017

Maybe they're about to hug it out?

Our Merry Marvel Movie March returns in episode 97 with our final movie of the 1990s, the 1998 action classic Blade! Join us as we talk about how much ass Wesley Snipes kicks, how Stephen Dorff (and definitely NOT Stephen Root) is forever associated with this role, and just how far CGI effects have come in the last 19 years!

Tom Breihan over at the AV Club has been choosing the most influential action movie of each year in his feature "A History of Violence". Blade was his pick for 1998, but the entire series of articles is well worth reading, so if you love action movies (and if you don't, hi Amber!), you should absolutely check it out!

We mention a number of other movies in this episode, including the hilarious New Zealander movie What We Do in the Shadows, the wonderfully bizarre Japanese movie The Rug Cop, and the rather dated American movie Convoy. Wait, Convoy was directed by Sam Peckinpah? That might be the most surprising thing about this -- even more surprising than the fact that trucker movies were apparently a mini-genre in the '70s? The mind boggles!

Paul mentions visual kei, which is a music genre in Japan featuring flamboyant costumes and glam rock and heavy metal music. Here's some X Japan and Femme Fatale if you want to see it for yourself.

Paul also brings up the website MenWhoLookLikeKennyRogers.com. The site itself is gone, but it still exists in an archived form! And maybe if we're really lucky, by the time you read this Paul will have created the BladeIRL subreddit for us all to enjoy!

We Conduct an Actual Interview in Episode 96!

10/9/2017

No no Miranda! Let me mansplain this to you!

We talk to Amber Elby in episode 96, and we must say, her book Cauldron's Bubble was very enjoyable -- Adam and I both recommend you check it out on Amazon! It's going to be a trilogy, so we'll be sure to have her back on the show when the next book drops in 2018.

This is the Doritos monstrosity that Adam will probably definitely make me eat eventually. You've been warned.

Also, correction to the "Chipping with Charlie" segment - Frito Lay has bagel chips, including "everything" flavor.

Adam doesn't think he's read a book predating 1950 for the last 14 years: "It turns out our society keeps creating new works! Too many works, in the case of TV; there's way too much stuff that I'm apparently supposed to keep track of. #rant #yesIrealizethisisvaguelyparadoxicalandIDONTCARE". And this arbitrary restriction only causes him to miss out on ONE Ray Bradbury collection, so no big loss there! [Edit: No, wait, P.G. Wodehouse. Wodehouse predates 1950, and I've definitely read that. Oh, and a bit of G.K. Chesterton. So I guess there's some stuff, but not a lot. -Adam]

Here's the history of Mexican Coke, and the title takes down hipsters a notch. Who would have thought the Smithsonian was so snarky!

Finally, here's a link announcing the end of the trivia show Quizbusters that we're talking about in the episode. But sorry, those of you who want to watch us; unfortunately our appearances predate the digital archive.

We Celebrate 10 Years of Podcasting in Episode 95!

9/25/2017

Less potato and dirt than you'd think!

Who better than our good friend and conspirator Alex Clark to help us celebrate a milestone in episode 95? On September 23rd, we managed to hit the 10 year mark! Just think of how many episodes we could have released by now if we hadn't taken that year long break? But let's not think about "what ifs". Let's revel in our good fortune and hope that the world of podcasting is still a thing 10 years from now! Maybe we'll hit episode 150...?

Please contact us if you want to be our unpaid intern and start the GW Report wiki! Being named Doug not required, but a plus!

Here's what wikipedia says nougat actually is. Now that I know, I don't want it anymore! It's true what they say, ignorance truly is bliss, especially where candy bars are concerned.

The phrase A-OK was popularized by astronauts. It was important that Houston knew that they were not referring to Oklahoma, and it is possible that the whole Apollo 13 disaster would have been completely avoided if this abbreviation had been in common use at that time (citation needed).

Tragedy re: 2 Live Crew, though this happened BEFORE we recorded this podcast, so we can in NO way be held responsible. Legally, I mean. If you're a vindictive person, there's nothing we can actually do to stop you.

I could have found any article to inform you that our very own Frankie Muniz is now on "Dancing with the Stars", but here's one about how he was probably your teenage crush.

And for our first and last ever GW Sports Update, the Detroit Lions are now 2-1! They've already exceeded MY expectations, it's all gravy from here on out!

We Rage Against an Entire Species in Episode 94!

9/11/2017

Let the marathon begin!

We're joined by "very" "special" "guests" Nancy and Anne Wilson of the band Heart in episode 94. How do we keep getting all of these "stars" to be on our podcast? Just dumb luck I guess, they keep stopping by unannounced!

Reportedly a huge influence on the latter works of Heart, here's a link to some info on the band Flippity Flop Doo Doo Man, although they haven't updated their MySpace page in almost 10 years...

Every once in a while, the universe conspires to let you know your art is worthwhile (i.e. this podcast). For me, it's this info on JoBeth Williams' most recent film.

Whichever member of Heart couldn't figure out which version of Picture Perfect we were talking about can be forgiven. Only two years apart!

In case you were wondering whether this episode is appropriate for children: No it is not.

Here's that Gandhi II video that's sure to get you children into trouble at school.

And a link to Nathan Rabin's website. I submit that it is more entertaining and edifying than the previous links so far.

Wait, maybe this Ducktales one is better... hard to say.

OK, OK, almost done with the links. Here's the website that Roger Ebert's book came from - also a great read.

Finally, Bob Ross performing an exorcism.

We Forget Everything in Episode 93!

8/28/2017

A CGI alien holding a puppet, will wonders never cease?

Join us yet again for our Merry Marvel Movie March when we review the extremely watchable Men in Black. It holds up, but does it have the best Marvel Movie Song? It's got a lot of competition!

I think we can all agree that Wings lives on in the collective pop culture conciousness. Who could forget Tony Shaloub as Antonio Scarpacci? Or Thomas Haden Church as Lowell? Or... Roy? Yeah, I think there was a guy named Roy... Well, look in the near future for our Wings podcast, where we are sure to list every single character.

And JNCOs! Apparently, this article Adam mentioned was not an article at all, but just a picture. Who reads articles anyway?

It looks as if there is no 21 Jump Street/Men in Black crossover in the works. Besides being a mind-bendingly strange idea, it's apparently "too high stakes". Hmmm.

And a special treat! Adam has transcribed ALL of the lyrics to Ivan Neville's hit from Captain America, "Home of the Brave". Here it is, so that you don't have to rewatch the YouTube video yourself.

HOME OF THE BRAVE

Liberty and justice
Every free man's point of view
You gotta keep it goin' now
The old red, white, and blue

Sound the bells of freedom
Let all the people say
Send a message loud and clear
A beast to beat 'em with [Maybe? This line's really hard to decipher]

Chorus:
Home of the brave
Home of the brave
Pray to God that we will save
The home of the brave

All the decorations
For which this country stands
Will echo through the canyon
And all over this great land

We got to stand together now
This feeling'll never die
The stars and stripes forever
Let's keep 'em flyin' high
Ohh!

Home of the brave
Home of the brave
I pray to God that He will save
The home of the brave

Home of the brave
Home of the brave
I pray to God that He will save
The home of the brave

Home of the brave
Home of the brave
I pray to God that we will save
The home of the brave

We Make Everything Dumb in Episode 92!

8/14/2017

Salisbury steak...? Oh well, probably better than "Boss Baby" anyway!

I want to start out by saying that episode 92 was recorded before the untimely death of Chester Bennington. So, I wouldn't say our "Sing A Song About It" segment is an homage, so much as... an unfortunate coincidence. Try to enjoy it as least as much as Charlie enjoyed singing it anyway!

Here's a little background on Nathan Fielder, which provided the inspiration for our own Redbox-inspired product. We HIGHLY recommend his show, which actually is absurdist and doesn't usually insult the participants as much as you would think. But is it as absurdist as Tim and Eric? I don't think so.

We encourage you to come up with your own "y-infused" names such as Yynnyfyr. Adam pointed out that they all invariably sound like Viking names. And that's totally cool! Just submit them via Twitter @gwreport and we'll read them on air. Or maybe try @gwrypyrt, see if that works.

We Discuss a Classic of Almost-Cinema in Episode 91!

7/31/2017

I can't believe this movie was low budget!

The March continues in episode 91, as we tackle the legendarily unreleased Fantastic Four movie. Is it really as bad as its reputation suggests? You'll have to listen to the episode to find out but, spoiler alert, no, not really. It is very low budget though, so you can sort of see Marvel's point of view.

Last July we noted how infrequently we release episodes in July. And yet this year we've given you THREE episodes this month -- a feat we've only accomplished once before, back in October 2007! And I'm not sure those even count! Apparently this "every two weeks" schedule is really working out!

Here's that link to the GIF-free Buzzfeed page we talk about. Journalism at its finest!

And Adam would like you to know that his Doctor Who blog is back for the next three weeks! You owe it to yourself to check it out!

Adam Regales Us with His Amazing Travel Tale in Episode 90!

7/17/2017

I didn't make it this episode, maybe next time!

Sorry if our episode backlog shows in episode 90 (an "upcoming" Piscopo Day is mentioned). Still, you should be happy that there are plenty more episodes coming up uninterrupted! This week, Adam tells us about some mishaps he had coming back from a trip to a conference out east. He may not have a medical degree, but sometimes a well-placed puff of fresh air can make the difference between success and disaster! Also, the paramedics helped out that lady a bit as well.

For the time being, you can't get two of the same flavor scoops of ice cream at Ben and Jerry's in Australia. Similar scoops now available in Germany though, presumably!

Adam was right; Despicable Me beat out Baby Driver at the box office. Are we really surprised though? Who wants to see wonderfully choreographed car chases when you can watch amorphous yellow blobs spout nonsense to each other?

Adam's actual opinion of Baby Driver (which I for the most part share): Decent but not great. Probably therefore Edgar Wright's weakest film, in my opinion. (Acknowledging I've never seen his first film, so maybe that's worse.) But overall, I still recommend seeing it (in the theater)! Adam recommends Spider-Man: Homecoming instead.

And more breaking news! Peter Capaldi is stepping down as the twelfth Doctor on Doctor Who, and his replacement was just announced yesterday! Click here to find out who, although I'd be a bit impressed if you'd managed to miss it. Even the New York Times covered it, and Doctor Who news is usually beneath them.

We Get Patriotic in Episode 89!

7/3/2017

Aww, are you trying to choke me? That's cute!

What better way to celebrate the birth of our nation than with a review of the 1990 movie Captain America? Maybe the 2011 Captain America movie? Well, that's for much later, so this one will have to do!

Here's that Mitchell and Webb sketch about the Nazis, which teaches us that introspection is always worthwhile, no matter the situation.

And finally, the Tom Cruise and Nic Cage supercuts we reference, for your viewing pleasure.

Talkin' About Our Favorite Joe in Episode 88!

6/19/2017

Gettin' ready for a birthday celebration!

Once again it's time to celebrate Joe Piscopo Day in episode 88! We discuss some of our birthday haul, as well a brand-new segment called "Chippin' with Charlie"! And does the man himself stop by to discuss ponies and cruise ships? You'll have to listen to find out!

And while Mr. Piscopo himself may have ultimately decided not to run for governor of New Jersey, that doesn't mean we can't still celebrate his career with-- wait, is this really the best sketch we could find? I guess you'll have to do some of the work on your own this year...

Concerned about the fact that "Happy Birthday" being in the public domain means we won't get to hear those off-brand restaurant versions any more? You're not the only one!

And if you have $200 just burning a hole in your pocket, you might want to consider spending it on some sweet Star Trek model ships.

Oh, and this just in: Star Trek: Discovery has a premiere date!!

We Kill All The Ninjas in Episode 87!

6/5/2017

Mercifully, only the top two-thirds

Once again, we are back at it in episode 87 with our Merry Marvel Movie March (here's the list!), reviewing the 1989 film The Punisher starring the one and only Dolph Lundgren! It's actually the second time Adam and I have seen it, and it was BETTER this time around. Imagine that!

Adam makes reference to a superhero group that was sarcastically proposed by Dwayne McDuffie; here's an article about that if you want to know more. Also another about the time the Punisher became temporarily black. Yeah, that really happened...

Wait, which Korea are we supposed to like as US citizens? I dunno, I guess we'd better go with Best Korea per Doug's suggestion! I can't be bothered to check, but sounds right to me!

We DON'T Hate On the Prequels in Episode 86!

5/22/2017

We've got some stories for you in this episode!

Everybody bust out the Prequel Memes, it's time for the 40th anniversary of the premiere of Star Wars on May 25th, and we're celebrating by revealing our own Star Wars history in episode 86. It's hard to believe it's already been 40 years! Oh wait, no it's not, since it has existed longer than I have. Oh well, I always relish the opportunity to acknowledge arbitrary passages of time!

Yes, yes, we bag a bit on "The Big Bang Theory" in this episode. So now we'll be hated by people who love the show, and hipsters who think hating the show is "so 2008". Anyway, here's what the show is like in my head whenever I watch it.

If you've been listening to our podcast at all recently, you should know why this YouTube video pretty much encapsulates everything we stand for.

If you liked Paul's little rendition of Meco's Star Wars Theme, here's the original. I like Paul's beat-box version better though.

Now there is a trailer for Star Trek Discovery for you to enjoy as well. So many links this week!!

And last but not least, the Rebel Assault II: Mystery Science Theater 1138 videos Adam was mentioning.

We Get All the Great Bits in Episode 85!

5/8/2017

They didn't actually eat there.

I regret to say I have never attended a Shenaniganza. Listening to it being described in episode 85 is an experience unto itself. There's a whole world of memes, bits and, well, shenanigans that you and I will never know firsthand. But some mysteries are better left hidden I suppose.

We've got some more Merry Marvel Movie March episodes coming up. Why not refamiliarize yourself with what we've done so far? Check out the Podcasts page if you really feel that hearing about Howard the Duck and the 1944 Captain America serial will help prepare you for The Punisher (1989).

Ooh, were you confused about the Dennis Quaid mouth open reference? Do you want to see it? You are a very strange person.

And though we can't possibly link to every meme mentioned, here's one you should be familiar with.

We Kick Off the Antics in Episode 84!

4/24/2017

At least some of the Rock N' Rye survived!

Apparently there's no better time to go on vacation than mid-March, it seems, as episode 84 makes clear. And Tony and Paul had only just arrived in Phoenix for their third annual Shenaniganza and were already full of upsetting-yet-hilarious stories! Enjoy a hilarious late-night episode fueled by caffeine, adrenline, and pure distilled rage!

(And don't worry, next episode will be a detailed breakdown of everything that happened during Shenanibananaganza itself.)

And if you can't get enough of the hits of John "Smash" Mouth, here's a mash-up to tide you over.

And don't despair! Our Merry Marvel Movie March will continue soon! Did I bring this up just to use this GIF again? Yes, but also to let you know that Adam has made up a list of all the movies we have to look forward to! Apparently they do eventually get better...

We Talk Board Game Theory in Episode 83!

4/10/2017

Seriously considering quitting my job to make board games... or just play them... or look at them...

It's amazing that we've made it through 83 episodes without devoting an entire episode to board games, but here it is! I'm glad to know that Cards Against Humanity is the great common denominator for all board game geeks. Or maybe it's Catan? Eh, either way.

Do you think you have the qualifications to be the next CEO for Cards Against Humanity? How do you stack up?

Our guest for Episode 83 is Jessica Klaers, the co-host of our new podcast Cinematic Respect. Each episode centers on a guest who is a cultural moron and hasn't seen a great film. Much like Quantum Leap's Sam Beckett, we keep "trying to right what once went wrong" and forcing them to enjoy that movie. If you like movies, or you like Charlie, or you're willing to listen to a podcast despite not liking both those things, you'll love it!

BREAKING NEWS! Because you NEED to know about this!

Here's a little context for Adam's "David Frye" reference.

And that Battleblock Theater reference you may not have understood.

We Exhaustively Count Plants in Episode 82!

3/27/2017

Endless counting fun

With the combined brain power of our guests, you'd think that we would have at least attempted a trip to an "escape room" at some point. Not so! But Brianne and Adam had a chance and told us about it in Episode 82. As we discussed, we thought of some clever, artsy escape rooms that would teach you an important lesson about life. Here's a few more I've thought of since.

• You are stuck in the room until you have a 45 minute forced conversation with a very lonely and bored Regis Philbin!
• Each participant is locked in a different management office and can't escape until it is "spotless, and please do the windows as well."
• When you complete the escape room, all staff has vanished, as well as any belongings you've left outside the room!

Oh, and some very unfortunate news about Hiddleswift. Is there no romance in the world anymore? And this happened in September, why did none of you tell me??

A Conspiracy Hits Close to Home in Episode 81!

3/13/2017

Can you believe we are already 18 years AST? Time flies!

Usually we do our "Conspiracy Corner" segment in an aloof way, but this time it has personal meaning in Episode 81. I briefly considered that maybe I had a secret admirer, sending me obscure DVD flops, but that theory quickly paved the way for more... SINISTER possibilities. Also in this episode, we talk about the movie "Pixels" more than you would expect.

So you think Obama is a nerd? Well, not the type of nerd who is familiar with "Dune"! John Hodgman put him to the test way back in 2009 and he disappointed the whole nation. It's Shai-Hulud, Mr. President. SMH so hard.

Oh, in case you want Gobeski-level productivity, here is a link to the Star Trek Voyager bridge background which you can use to annoy your coworkers! And that "La La Land" article in which they prove that Emma Stone's character DESERVED to be a failure.

We Break the Ice in Episode 80!

2/27/2017

Shot number 37 of 50

Episode 80 takes place in Arizona, but don't worry - we talk at length about off-track betting. And fun times were had by all! We played the highest scoring game of mini-golf ever, played several awesome board games and I only got really sick after I left! (There may be a couple sniffles left in the recording, this is my method of apologizing for that.)

We've reached the milestone of 80 episodes, which means we've released more episodes than the original Star Trek TV series. Yet amazingly, I think this may be the very first time we discuss "American Gladiators" on the podcast. Here's a list of gladiators in case you've forgotten. Luckily, Liquid Cold Magma isn't taken yet!

And here's a link to a clip from The Drew Carey Show. It's what Alex thinks of my "Sing a Song About It" attempts in general. He's got a point.

SMH About Every Part of Episode 79!

2/13/2017

Wait, are the Nazi breeder ducks looking for a magical stork? This pun doesn't withstand deep scrutiny!

There just isn't a whole lot to say about the movie Howard the Duck that we don't say in episode 79. After all, the back of the DVD says it is "one of the most talked-about movies of all time". And the only reason to watch it is to understand why everyone groaned at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy. But now you don't have to. YOU'RE WELCOME.

(Adam wants you to know that he thinks 1986-era Lea Thompson is a reason to watch it. So if that works for you and for some reason you don't just want to watch the best parts on YouTube, then I guess you have that!)

I'm actually writing this blog post at ADAM'S VERY OWN KITCHEN TABLE! That means you can expect that the next episode actually contains us both in the same room in Arizona! And if you are a fan of off-track betting, you may even hear that episode broadcast over the speakers as you lose your kids' college fund to your gambling addiction. Don't understand what I mean? I forgot you haven't heard that episode yet. Stay tuned!

Another highlight of the trip was our journey to the mini-golf course, where Adam doubled his score on the last hole. He finished at 102. That's the problem with "playing it where it lies" and "not giving up at 6 strokes like a weenie". It may have been the most entertaining 15 minutes of my life. Check out our Facebook page to see the shenanigans yourself!

Also, we rated some new NES games. Well, the games themselves aren't new, but the ratings and comments are! If you weren't aware we've been doing this for almost 20 years and although we've slowed down, we haven't stopped. Alex has a lot of unrated games to look forward to!

We Vicariously Enjoy Each Other's Gifts in Episode 78!

1/30/2017

A Chrimbus Sandstorm!

Look out, it's a Christmas episode in January! And instead of delaying release due to my laziness, we actually had TOO MUCH CONTENT recorded that had to be released before this one. So don't think of it as a month late; it's really 11 months early!

So I found an article that addresses the "bwam" sound we discuss in the episode. Except they call them "Braaams". We're right, they're wrong. However, they did SOME research which I don't feel like doing myself, so you can read their thing if you want. Also, this one.

Dr. McNinja has finally ended its run. Just in time for me to start reading it! If you like ninjas, dinosaurs, large apes, pirates and robots, I'd give it a chance. If you don't like those things... did you have a childhood? Or did you just skip straight from being a baby to being an adult?

We Switch from Dials to Levers in Episode 77!

1/16/2017

The most deadly weapon of all!

Finally, you can hear the exciting conclusion to our review of the Captain America serial from 1944. And boy, Grant Gardner goes on a rampage. I imagine right after the last episode fades out, the police chief says, "So, about those dozens of people you murdered..." But overall, it was pretty entertaining and we all suggest you watch some of it!

So the statistics have been tallied and it appears that we put out more than one episode per month last year. Dare we try for TWO episodes a month in 2017? Well, we're on track so far! And it certainly wouldn't be the strangest thing to happen this year. That's almost a guarantee.

Too Many Cameos in Episode 76!

12/31/2016

Wait, timeout! I lost a contact lens!

Wow, it's truly amazing that so many guest stars stopped by in episode 76! But when you have access to wikipedia, I suppose anything is possible. Stay tuned to the end for our very special message to the year 2016!

Speaking of the New Year, today is your LAST day to make donations to the GW Report this calendar year! You may be asking:

• "Why would I donate to you?"
• "The donation is not tax deductible, so who cares WHEN I donate?"
• "The state of our decaying society dictates that I donate to a cause that has real-world consequence!"

I respect that you are a naturally inquisitive person, but you really just need to open up your wallet and donate, preferably in person and with cash. Also, that last one was not a question.

Our Quest For Flavor Ends in Episode 75!

12/23/2016

What's picanha? You don't want to know...

We've finally made it the traditional podcasting milestone of 75 episodes! Can't think of a more important number than that! No sir! Here's our second clips show for you celebrate with. It was actually a lot of fun to record and produce. Download it and listen with your family/coworkers/general acquaintances/people at restaurants who know who you are because you order from them so often/friends/"friends" around the Christmas tree this year, especially if the politics of the recent election leaves you feeling like you can't find common ground.

I've got a link to Simon Pegg's half-apology for the Star Trek trailer we mention, just in case you don't remember Trailergate.

And here is the source material for our audiobook productions. I can't decide whether you should watch them before or after listening to episode 75. So you choose! (Definitely watch them after! --Editor Adam)

• The Naked Gun
• Jackass: The Movie
• Anchorman 2

We Straight Up Murder Thugs in Episode 74!

11/26/2016

"Hey, Gary! I said move things OUT of the way, idiot!"

After threatening several times, we finally begin the Merry Marvel Movie March in episode 74. I suspect this will probably take a while, especially since approximately 1,100 Marvel properties have been spun into movies since I started writing this sentence. But we conduct this public service with a smile because, hey, we're watching fun movies (mostly).

You should go watch an episode of the Captain America serial on YouTube now, and at least give it a chance. Why have a stupid magical shield when you can just waste fools with your handgun??

If you don't follow Paul F. Tompkins on Twitter, your life is hollow. Here's a link to the tweet we reference, to brighten your day. Now you know what insult to hurl at internet trolls when you foolishly engage them.

We Consider a Third Party in Episode 73!

11/7/2016

A candidate you can believe in

It's the day before the 2016 election, and what better time to introduce a new presidential candidate to you? Episode 73 gives us a look at the policies and personality of Daniel Baker, the leader of the Workers Against Needless Guidelines party! I feel better about the country already!

I was going to supply you with the Internet's finest efforts for phat beats from DJ Trump (DJ DJ Trump?) but it frankly got depressing really fast. So here, this might help instead.

And Adam says you should go see Doctor Strange tonight! Depending on how things go tomorrow, you might not get another chance!

We Off-Road a Bit in Episode 72!

10/27/2016

Sixth-grade Mustache

We seem to be landing bigger and bigger guest stars these days, and we've got our biggest so far in episode 72. Frankie's voice has gotten a lot deeper since I last heard him, but I guess he's all grown up now!

The guy's name is definitely Evan McMullin. Turns out the race in Utah may be more exciting than the country as a whole...

Our very own Alex Clark has a Twitch account, which you can access here. Parental advisory: he uses some swears.

Here's a list of all the 3rd Rock from the Sun episode titles. It's even worse than I imagined.

Episode 71 is Too High Brow!

9/28/16

The Grungiest Nation on Earth

We apologize for the short notice on Cruz News, but it only happened an instant before we recorded episode 71. You'll have to wait for episode 72 for the full deets!

Or not! Probably not!

Here's the Stephen Colbert clip that we play in the podcast. He'll be hearing from our lawyer! Of course, I'm sure we'll be hearing from his lawyers for playing that clip without permission. So hopefully this whole legal battle will even out in the end. We're ultimately just hoping for some publicity. Please follow us on Twitter, Stephen!

Like a little politics with your Star Trek? Well here's the anti-Brexit, anti-Donald subtext we talked about in the episode.

And of course, here's a link to our newly founded nation. Will it meet the same fate as Old Bakergobeskiland? With an economy that is best described as "Basket Case", I think we'll know very soon!

New Hosts in Episode 70!

9/18/16

I have NO idea...

We mix things up a bit in episode 70, but we think you'll like the results. We just hope the popularity of the guest hosts this week doesn't eclipse our own! After all, they don't even have to change the title of the podcast to steal it. Though now that I've put the idea out there, I am kind of nervous about it. At least Brianne may have been turned off of the idea by having to sing a song. Not so easy, is it?!

Here's an explanation of the difference between coupe and a sedan. Again, not so easy as some would have you believe.

We Eulogize a Console in Episode 69!

8/25/16

I guess nothin' can last forever...

Right off, I have to apologize for the extended "Sing a Song About It" segment. Unless that's your thing, in which case episode 69 will be quite a treat! And of course we talk about the end of the Xbox 360 era. Now we're forced to enter the next console generation, where these infernal things can hear your voice and track your movements. Better to be monitored by Big Brother than to wallow in the past though!

Adam mentions a Penny Arcade comic that can be seen here if you so choose (which you should!)

Also, I should mention that The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek now has 50 entries! If you haven't already checked it out, you are probably a horrible human being. Just spend a couple minutes reading it to regain your cool kid status. Not too hard, really.

And an official count has Alex Clark with 21 appearances and Doug at 28! That means Doug gets the ultimate prize: he is banned from the podcast until Alex catches up!

Back to Basics Again in Episode 68!

7/18/16

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

Considering we've been podcasting since before it was cool, it's amazing how infrequently we've posted an episode in the month of July. Until now!

Adam and I both feel like mentioning that the new Ghostbusters film was pretty good. If you don't, you are sexist. That's how this works, right...? As usual, all of my complaints were criticisms that could have been as easily leveled at the original film (see, I'm learning!).

If you couldn't quite pick out the saxophone solo Adam was singing, here it is. Oh yeah, THAT song...

And of course, the patriotic meme that's been sweeping the nation:

It's Joe Piscopo Day in Episode 67!

6/17/16

Yep, I guess context DOES matter

I can hardly believe it's been a whole year since we conceived of Joe Piscopo Day. Episode 67 is a celebration of epic proportions! And I do believe we stay on the safe side of copyright infringement, though some folks in this episode disagree.

As we also mention, you are required to do something Joe Piscopo-related today in addition to listening to the podcast. Here are a few JP clips to help you fulfill your JPD obligations:

• Joe Votes!
• A different Paulie Herman sketch
• Hail to the New Chief
• Late Night with David Letterman: Gumby's Bloopers

Only Three People Explode in Episode 66!

6/5/16

Oh, so THAT'S what it looks like...

You will reach the part of episode 66 when we start playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes and you have no idea what's going on. Now you know how I felt actually PLAYING the game. I suppose it's something that a group of people could get good at, but where's the fun in that? And of course, Adam always relishes the opportunity to scream at the top of his lungs.

And just because Ted Cruz has officially dropped out of the presidential race doesn't mean you'll finally be rid of Cruz Tips. Or Cruise Tips. Or even Crews Tips! See? There's any number puns that will work. Besides, there's only so long the Ted "Theodore" "Edward" Cruz can stay away from the headlines. Just you wait!

Oh, speaking of dropping out...

And here's that infamous elbow and the handscuffle.

It's Shenan-again-za in Episode 65!

5/19/16

The legend himself

It's Adam here again, here to fill you in on the recent happenings here in Arizona in episode 65! While we talk about quite a few things in this one, we didn't even cover everything that happened, such as how we rearranged the VHS section of a local Goodwill to be by actor, or how we climbed a mountain and met Diamond Medallion (who apparently is a lizard), or any of the adventures of Gordon, the angry dad who repeats all his questions twice ("If you wanted Pepsi, why did you ask for Coke? WHY DID YOU ASK FOR COKE?!"). But despite that, there should be plenty of stories to keep you entertained for the full hour. You'll never think about Foreigner the same way!

And as you may recall, a couple months ago we started The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek, a guide to the original and animated series. Well, if you haven't checked it out recently, you should - we've now doubled the number of entries since we debuted, and we're still going strong!

OK, back to Charlie for the next episode's post, which I'm sure will be all about bomb defusal or something.

It's Gobeskis vs. Wallaces in Episode 64!

5/5/16

Zack Snyder insisted we include this photo

I almost didn't see Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I'm glad I did! And the reason is episode 64. Otherwise it was a waste of time. But listen to the episode!

And with all the political happenings, you can bet episode 65 will have some Cruz Tips! If the country hasn't fallen into chaos, of course. It is unfortunate that we've lost "Lyin' Ted" as a presidential candidate, but people hate him so much he's sure to show up in the news eventually!

As promised, here's what would happen if Zack Snyder made Spider-Man.

And maybe Doug could get a job at Warner Bros! (Just kidding, Doug!)

Things Get Operatic in Episode 63!

4/13/16

#1 Autocorrect

Domingo... Carreras... Pavarotti... Gobeski... Wallace? If you think it's a stretch to mention all of these names in one breath, you haven't listened to episode 63!

Turns out Wisconsin is an open primary state, so I could vote for whomever I wanted! My complete lack of civic engagement up until election day goes unpunished, yet again. I won't say who I cast my ballot for, but I will say this: I do not approve of lizard men. Maybe it's time our old friend Nick Bronson threw his hat in the ring...

Here is a Ted Cruz meme for you that is mentioned in the episode... and a Trump/Christie meme!

Also: Tim's Kitchen Tips. All the best ideas are already taken!

Everybody Gets Smug in Episode 62!

3/14/16

Friend of the show, Edward "Smugly" Cruz

What better way to get you through the primary doldrums than with a new episode! Our timing is not a coincidence - we hope to influence all you Ohioans and Floridians out there to vote for the best candidate possible. And that candidate is... Ted Cruz? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...

In case you haven't noticed, Adam has started The Fanbeing's Guide to Star Trek (original series). Make sure to check it out. The show may be decades old, but the analysis is fresh as ever!

Speaking of Star Trek, here's a link to the Next Generation book Paul and Adam mention in the episode.

Also, THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE. BUT WE DID IT! We've made the Doctor Who Magazine Hat Trick. That is, our tweets have been featured three times IN PRINT, the way tweets are meant to be seen!

Charlie Gets Married in Episode 61!

2/28/16

Celebrating the creation of another great episode!

Even though we recorded episode 61 back in September, for some reason I didn't get around to editing this one until now. So please forgive us for the outdated Star Wars references (not that it's the first time, so I'm sure you're used to it).

So in case you were wondering, the wedding went off without a hitch. I mean there was a hitch. Kara and I got hitched.

That is to say, everything went splendidly, and now I'm in the special "Married" club! I've got a member's ring and everything!

The Force Wakes Up in Episode 60!

1/31/16

A lot of people went to see this movie

Because it's us, it's the moment you've been waiting for: discussing the new Star Wars movie in Episode 60! Expect lots of thrills, spills, and pointing out problems in a movie we all generally agreed we liked quite a bit!

That's really all for now, but look forward to more excitement in the near future! Our goal is to release one podcast a month this year. Can we do it? (Maybe; so far so good!)

It's an Explosion in Episode 59!

12/22/15

Time out for number 1 (and 2)!

It's Christmas time once again, and what better way to celebrate than with Episode 59? Tony and Paul are back to recount a harrowing (or is it hilarious?) tale from their Arizona trip, while Doug is ready to blow everyone's minds with a parallel universe theory he heard from hip-hop/rap group Run the Jewels!

And because it wouldn't be our podcast without them, here are a collection of links of things we mention that you might interested in:

• The fabled "Best of Times" pilot featuring Nic Cage AND Jackie Mason!
• The first of Stephen Colbert's "Hungry for Power Games" segment!
• That Rachel Maddow/Jon Stewart interview Tony mentioned!
• The Captain America: Civil War trailer!
• BONUS! An article about potential concerns with the Civil War movie that Adam insisted I share with you for some reason!
• A compilation of cute kittens! (that last one not strictly relevant)

Jason King is Back in Episode 58!

11/26/15

Hail to the King, baby

After a near-miss in Episode 54, the legendary Jason King finally makes a full-fledged appearance in Episode 58! It's another episode full of fun and nonsense that is no way dated by the fact that we're discussing the second halves of our summer or my impending wedding that's already happened. Hopefully you'll find that this episode is no turkey!

...Because today's Thanksgiving in the United States, see. I guess that joke's only funny if you read it on Thanksgiving. And are already drunk on turkey and alcohol.

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving from the Gobeski/Wallace Report!

The Future is Now in Episode 57!

10/21/15

Today is the day Marty McFly goes to the future!

Yes, the future has finally arrived, as reality catches up with Back to the Future Part II! How did they do? Listen to episode 57 to find out what Charlie, Adam, Alex, Doug, and Paul think! And thanks to Adam for what's our fastest turnaround from recording to release yet! (Although don't expect this to become a habit or anything.)

And for those not in the know, here are links to the Jaws 19 trailer (seriously, check that out if you haven't yet), Pepsi Perfect, and a commercial for those Pizza Hut shades Charlie mentioned.

Of course, it's not just the future we delve into -- there are also some blasts from the past to be found on our website, in both the Prehistory part of our Musings page and a new remastered version of Episode 10, way back from 2008! Although if you still want the original versions, they're still there too; we're not George Lucas.

Is Kirk a Republican? Find Out in Episode 56!

9/23/15

OK, I guess I do see the resemblance

While I don't recall James T. Kirk or Captain Picard espousing any particular political ideology, we delve into that anyway in episode 56. While we at the Gobeski/Wallace Report consider ourselves apolitical, certain comments by presidential candidates require a response, and we were happy to dive in.

And again, here is the link to Adam's completed Dr. Who blog. Quite an accomplishment!

Please excuse the brief blog post - I'm getting married on Saturday! Of course that does not excuse all the other short entries, but I digress.

Our First Un-Official Celebrity Guest in Episode 55!

8/30/15

Hi-LAR-ious!

Here at the Gobeski/Wallace Report, we've found that the best podcast segments are ones that the guests have never heard of. Hence, episode 55. It's really a wonder that Paul Wilcox (one of the stars of the YouTube sensation "Hey Paul, dat pizza dough"!) agreed to show up on our podcast for a second time. Watch out, he may even be involved in an unprecedented THIRD episode in the near future.

For those of you who are concerned about whether the Emerald Ash Borer has made it to New Jersey, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you. Somewhere, Joe Piscopo is shedding a single tear.

Jason is Noticeably Absent In Episode 54!

6/9/15

When cat murder goes horribly wrong

Even the best laid plans only lead us to episode 54. Hopefully we'll get Jason to talk about "The Aristocats" very soon!

Here's the trailer for Jurassic World that I was referring to. See? Every line in the whole thing is DUMB. We could make a WAY better trailer. "Catception" anyone?

We Get Back to Basics in Episode 53!

5/10/15

Really, how could THIS possibly be confusing?

When people look back through history at the GW Report, I think episode 53 will be considered a turning point. I'm not sure if it's for better or worse, but we sure do make a lot of superficial changes to the format. Looks like Adam is editing the next episode, and has already made more progress on a Nick Bronson project, so it looks like May/June will be content heavy on the GW Report.

Here is a link to the referenced Wu-tang Clan story. Other possible titles for this episode included "Back to Basics" and "From OPD to ODB". I chuckled when I came up with the last one, but realized no one would probably get it before listening. Or after listening for that matter.

The NSA Shuts Us Down in Episode 52!

3/28/15

Ok, well there is SOME resemblance...

Tony and Paul are back on a very guest intensive episode. There were some technical difficulties in the middle of recording, and by that I mean THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE. Download it, you might learn a thing or two! By the by, I think Doug has been in Idaho too long, because his conspiracy theory was rather well fleshed out. Am I the only person who thinks the government has our best interest in mind all the time and that we shouldn't question their motives? Especially on public blogs!

Oh, and in case you were interested in high card flush, here.

We Get the Gang Back Together in Episode 51!

3/9/15

A bit pessimistic, but entertaining nonetheless!

Well I hope you have enjoyed your break since episode 50! I'm sure you have had the chance to listen to it SEVERAL times in the absence of new episodes! Personally, I took the opportunity to visit Adam and Brianne in Arizona to record yet another episode, which we bring to you now! We also got a chance to play a bunch of board games, including "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", which was a lot more fun than you would expect from a licensed game. It actually predates most of the cooperative board games that I'm familiar with, so I'd suggest you give it a try if you can find it, which you almost certainly can't.

Word on the street is that Tony Huff may be a special guest on the episode we are recording THIS VERY EVENING! [Of course we didn't record it that evening. Did you really think we would? --Editor Adam] Be on the lookout for that several months from now when I get around to editing it.

A Podcast Milestone - Episode 50!

12/24/14

Cuy-a-ho-ga...??

It's hard to believe that we've finally gotten to Episode 50. And what better way to celebrate than with an extra-long audio explosion of all the additional bits that didn't fit into other podcasts! Plus, we head on a road trip to Mikey Susner's wedding! You can bet hijinks ensue!

But in all honesty, it's been a great time and we're both pretty proud of the product we've put out over the years. We hope you've enjoyed listening half as much as we've enjoyed making it!

Hopefully we can go another 50 episodes (in a shorter period of time) before we have enough extra material for a tag show.

We Preview Everything in Episode 48!

11/16/14

HILARIOUS!!!!

In Episode 48, we make judgements the only way we know how: quickly and with little or no information at our disposal! It's like you're sitting in the theater watching previews with us before a feature film, in that everyone is loud and it takes almost an hour.

On a serious note, we recorded this before the untimely death of Robin Williams, so make sure you listen with that in mind. To answer your question: No, Doug is not a sarcastic monster... at least not in this case.

Oh, and Martin Lawrence is 49 years young.

We Discuss Our Feelings Rhythmically in Episode 47!

9/26/14

He's got a basketball... FOR A HEAD!!!

I feel amazing when you listen to Episode 47 because you are such a devoted fan! Don't understand why I just said that? Listen to the episode and all will be revealed! Once again, a special thanks to the folks over at Michigan Beer Show for being guests on this one.

Also, Agents of Shield Season One has now been completely reviewed! Check it out to refresh your memory for season two!

We Geek Out about a POPULAR Movie in Episode 49

8/13/14

Brianne, Adam, Charlie, Doug and PJ, respectively.

So wait, why is this Episode 49 and not Episode 47? Because we said so! Firefly was played out of order, and look how popular THAT is now!!

Also, we're as shocked as you are to discuss a movie both a) in a timely manner, and b) that's unabashedly worth seeing. But that's not all! This podcast also compares what we got on screen with some of the original comic book material! Let's see the New York Times do that!

And finally, you may have heard that Adam's been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. Which is nothing special, except this time he's blogging about it! You can check out all his insights here!

Listen to The GW Report After Hours in Episode 46

6/20/14

This is a koopa troopa.

We've gotten several complaints that our podcast is not risque enough for today's discriminating audience. We've attempted to fix that in Episode 46! We hope your sensibilities are suitably offended!

Special thanks to Tony and Brandon from the Michigan Beer Show. If you only listen to two podcasts, make theirs one of them!

Oh, and here's a link to that Back to the Future blog.

Old School Gaming in Episode 45

6/4/14

Billy Joel would be so proud!

Have you ever wanted to play every single NES game ever made? You may not realize this, but for every Super Mario Bros, there are about 15 Widgets. Of course, all of this is discussed in Episode 45.

Boy, Nick Bronson and Murphy sure are in trouble now. One of them might even be dead! How will this intriguing drama end?! Follow us @GWReport to see! Oh, and Doug's profile has been added to our profile page!

Plus, check out our NES Ratings Guide and Top 25 NES Games lists!

Episode 44 Features the Polar Vortex!

4/16/14

Good for the scenery, bad for the power grid

And we're back! We may have recorded it a while ago, but I assure you, there is nothing in it that dates Episode 44! Except maybe Christmas, weather pattern discussion, being in Michigan, the actual date being mentioned, etc...

Finally: Borderlands 2! Unfortunately, they've instituted a challege system whereby you have to find obscure "Vault Symbols" located around the map in weird locations. If not for that, we probably would have covered the same ground we have covered in 8 weeks in only one or two weeks. That and spending hours pumping fake money into fake slot machines.

The Nick Bronson story is still going strong on Twitter! What sort of mess have he and Murphy gotten themselves into now?! Follow us @GWReport!

Serenade Your Love with Episode 43!

2/10/14

Underwriting this movie was probably not a good idea...

Ever wonder how to set the perfect mood for a romantic getaway? Maybe Episode 43 will help you out! Or maybe it will get you strange looks! Either way, it is guaranteed to get you a reaction of some sort!

Y'all might have noticed that we've started a new Nick Bronson story in the format I've always felt it was made for - Twitter! You should be able to read it under the menu bar on the right, but don't forget to follow us @GWReport

Get Your Christmas Cheer with Episode 42!

12/24/13

The tweet read 'round the world -- and Charlie's Christmas tree too!

Adam here, filling in for Charlie while he's off "driving" "home" for "Christmas". Speaking of Christmas, Episode 42 finds us reminiscing about Christmas meals and movies. I don't think anyone realized what number this podcast was, though, so anyone looking for Hitchhiker's Guide references will sadly be disappointed. Unless this counts right here.

Also, as you will learn (if you haven't already), we had a tweet published in the 50th Anniversary issue of Doctor Who Magazine. We've been printed, so now we've arrived. Seriously, I was pleased for days.

Finally, I've added a few reviews to our Musings section -- mainly about Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but there's also one on Doctor Who (go figure). Check it out!

Test Your Wits Against Ours in Episode 41!

10/14/13

This picture may contain minor spoilers

Episode 41 was a great trip down memory lane, since Doug, Alex, Adam and I were all on the same Quiz Bowl team in high school. I definitely notice that I'm not as "quick on the buzzer" as I used to be, but some of that trivia is still rattling around in my brain somewhere! Unfortunately, this episode doesn't contain even one question about Eugene O'Neill. Oh well. Next time maybe.

We Say Goodbye to Michigan in Episode 40!

9/16/13

The movie that Brianne tried to take seriously

Well it finally happened, our last podcaster finally moved out of our home state. This is the first episode with no one representing the Great Lakes State. Luckily, modern technology has advanced to the point that you may NOT BE ABLE TO TELL AT ALL! Well, unless you notice our local references going stale...

It should also be pointed out that Adam's Calendar Man achievement disappeared. And then later it reappeared. Apparently, Microsoft likes to toy with its customers occasionally.

Superman is Back in Episode 39

7/1/13

A scene so dramatic, the cameraman is shaking with emotion!

How apropos that Episode 39 is a reboot of a movie we reviewed in Episode 20. Well, it's sort of a reboot. We discuss that.

And this episode might even be refered to as "timely" by those with a loose grip of the English language. Many thanks to Adam for editing this one! Watch out for the next episode, partially recorded in sunny Phoenix, Arizona!

Episode 38 - The Episode So Nice, We Recorded It Twice!

5/31/13

You'll need to listen if you want context.

Adam and I were never folks to let technical difficulties get in the way of our art, so we present to you Episode 38, which we have repeated from memory VERBATIM! Wait, what does verbatim mean again...? No, that's not right. What I meant was "with some improvising in the spots we couldn't remember."

It seems we made a few more references to photographs than we usually do, so that's them in the banner (waffle creation on the left, Brianne's text pic on the right)!

Star Trek The Board Game is Back in Episode 37

4/9/13

Doug is nearing this level of anguish by the end of the podcast

Bet you never thought we'd get back to THIS again, but Adam had some work to avoid. Turns out I'M the bottleneck in the production of new episodes. Who knew? (everyone)

Also, we've got two new writings in the Musings section. By new, I mean we wrote them years ago and are recycling them on this site. But "If you haven't seen it, it's new to you!" (Trademark of NBC, 1997).

Vampires Ride Trains in Episode 36

2/22/13

"This is exciting, but I think next time we should just buy tickets..."

Just in time for the Oscars, we deliver Episode 36 of the GW Report, in which we talk about all the movies that'll win big on Sunday.

Or maybe just some of them.

I guess we briefly touch on one or two.

Regardless, give it a listen! And this was apparently NOT the movie Doug was talking about. I suppose it will forever remain a mystery!

The Mouse with the Golden Bikini (a.k.a. episode 35)

12/5/12

Yes, this comic is real.

Back from yet another hiatus, here is Episode 35. In this one, we talk about how George Lucas is insanely rich.

Anyway, I DID get to see Obama at a campaign rally following this recording. And Bruce Springsteen. And Obama got re-elected. And it is past Thanksgiving. Man, I need to update everything more frequently.

And a new Birthday Comic is up! Only 5 months too late! I'm hoping to finish Adam and Brianne's wedding comic sometime before Star Wars: Episode 7 comes out.

Oh, and links to the referenced Chainsaw Suit comic and Mickey suicide info, for good measure.

We Submit Kittens To Weird Experiments in Episode 34

5/29/12

Did you know the internet has a public domain photo of a Pepsi Max two liter next to Papa John's pizza? Seriously, what are the odds?!

Our kitten Maron is lucky we're all talk, or she may not have gotten out of this episode without visiting "flavor country", as Adam put it.

And for all those interested, Brianne, Adam, Doug and I have been playing Borderlands almost every week for AN ENTIRE YEAR now (I know this because Adam still occasionally gives me grief about missing our session LAST Memorial Day). We're finally on the last bit of DLC. It's been a good run. I think we may need to play something else before we give Borderlands 2 a try though...

NOTE: Adam informs me I am well aware that we are playing Marvel: Ultimate Alliance next. I suppose this is technically true.

Episode 33 Has More Nick Cage than Usual!

4/17/12

The number one cause of brush fires in the North America

We had intended to get the most recent episode out to warn you not to see Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance in the theater. A whole two months later, here you go! Turns out no one saw the movie anyway. So mission accomplished.

I can't decide whether it would be a blessing or a curse to be Nicolas Cage. Granted, you have piles of money and can afford to make unprofitable movies on a whim, but something tells me that there's a lot of inner conflict there... much like the Ghost Rider, Johnny Blaze! Let's do a quick comparison!

Johnny Blaze : Nicolas Cage

Forced to destroy evil men : Forced to make awful movies to sustain ridiculous lifestyle

Owes soul to the devil : In 2007, owed the IRS $6.2 million (approximate value of one human soul)

Conspicuous in public places : Conspicuous in public places

NOW I see why this was his pet project.

The GW Report Just Got a Little More Partisan

3/18/12

Left to right: President of the Universe, Chancellors of the Ground, Sea and Air

Hey, ever wonder what those Republican debates would sound like if the candidates were out of touch with reality and just said anything to get elected? Oh wait...

Also, while we're on the subject of voting, Adam wrote a new article!

We Finally Create a Format in Episode 31

1/23/12

You see what can be accomplished with a simple dress code?

Wow, coming up with new content for every episode is exhausing. Don't you wish there were just some formula that allowed us to come up with new material in an organized way? Oh wait, there is! Just create a bunch of segments!

Despite our attempts to insinuate to Alex that he is not welcome, he has somehow wormed his way into our podcast on a regular basis. Thus, it was decided that he needed a bio of his very own. I hope this doesn't send him the wrong message...

Episode 30: The Obligatory "Heartwarming" Christmas Episode

12/18/11

Unless you have to return the game to the store!!

Another year of the GW Report is coming to a close, and what do we have to show for it? Our 30th episode! What better Christmas gift is there?

Episode 29 - Throwback (with Improvisational Recorder)

11/12/11

Not at all similar to our new movie "Throwback"

Well, we've got another one for you. Though "Diplomatic Immunity" never seemed to get off the ground, I'm hoping a major studio picks up "Throwback" (discussed in Episode 29). It can't miss!

What's "Diplomatic Immunity", you ask? It's our screenplay about a crazy, off-the wall unemployed dude who wins a radio contest to become the ambassador to some unpronounceable foreign country! It was really designed as a vehicle for the endlessly versatile prop comic Carrot Top, but we'd be willing to reconsider the lead in order to be more "current". Kevin James, maybe?

We are still seeking investors for both ideas. Contact us via Twitter (@GWReport).

Episode 28 is Sphincter Gold!

9/25/11

OK, maybe not the best James Bond movie to start with...

If the title "Goldsphincter" wasn't clear enough for you, Episode 28 is about James Bond! As an incidental update on the contents, a few of my friends and I exposed Kara to her first James Bond movie last night ("From Russia with Love"). It was kind of hard to defend the existence of the "gypsy catfight" in Act II, but I think she did appreciate it to some extent.

Also, quick excerpt from my text message archive:

ADAM: Podcast!
CHARLIE: Will do tomorrow. Just talked to someone (other than PJ) who has listened to every episode!
ADAM: Did they like it?
CHARLIE: Yeah, I guess so.
ADAM: That was a ringing endorsement. Also, I'm beating your Xevious score on Xbox Live.

So, in summary, I have to buy Xevious on Xbox Live now. Crap.

In Episode 27, Witness the Birth of Movie Franchise

8/20/11

These men certainly have the greatest 80's hair ever, but best 80's song...?

Here's Episode 27!

Well, I'm back in Michigan for a few days, which means new podcast recordings tomorrow!! Which means new podcast episodes up half a year from now!!! Can you possibly contain your excitement!?!?!

In semi-related news, our Monday night Borderlands sessions seem to be a success. Of course, each outing begins with Adam challenging each member of our crew to a duel. This slows our progress slightly, but mostly irritates me because he ALWAYS WINS. Bouts consist of seeing how long you can run around the ring until his Berserker catches up with you. So far, I consider Brianne the biggest challenge to his dominance, since her Siren can disappear at will. But not forever, not long enough.

Busting Out the Urban Dictionary in Episode 26

7/25/11

At least we don't charge for our baseless speculation...

In the midst of a heat wave, a looming debt ceiling crisis and a heartbreaking World Cup loss, it is hard not to see our nation as one in decline. That is, until Episode 26! If this country produced us and this podcast, is there nothing it can't do? You do not need to answer that question, because it is rhetorical, and the answer is obviously "No! We are Masters of the Impossible!"

Alex "Mad Dog" Clark has once again managed to finagle his way back into our podcast (and our hearts). Just go with it, and try to ignore the fact that I just used the word "finagle".

Episode 25, In Which We Talk About Video Games!

6/27/11

Pretty sure this is the level in question...

At three months, Episode 25 doesn't even represent the longest delay between recording and delivery for an episode. Still, you may hear one or two topical things that will have you roiling in nostalgia for February '11.

There's still time to sign up for the GW Report "Fun" Run! Don't delay, failure to sign up for Early Bird registration may cost you hundreds of dollars! What, you don't want to help the poor babies? You heartless monster...

Also, have you seen Adam's most recent Birthday Comic?

Episode 24 Proves That We Have Friends!

5/31/11

Sadly, with the advent of Skype, the "lobster phone" lost much of its appeal.

In Episode 24, Adam and I prove once again that you can't hide from The GW Report. In fact, the "call-in" show was such a success, I'm not sure why we'd ever ASK anyone to be a guest again.

Summer is here, which means it's time to sign up for the third annual Gobeski/Wallace Report Fun Run this July 15th at 7:00 a.m.! Registration is open now, and is a mere $57.60 for the first mile, $47.90 for each additional mile. We won't personally be there, so just report your distance/time to us (honor system!), and the person who runs the farthest will receive their very own digital single of "The Theme from Solarbabies" and a handwritten thank you note. Winner should send a SASE to my home, or just be satisfied with the fact you are doing so much to combat Infant Restless Leg Syndrome. At least I think that's the charity we made up.

You're Live on the Gobeski/Wallace Report in Episode 23!

4/6/11

The Gobeski/Wallace Report: Scaring children at Toys 'R Us since 2008

Much like Shark Week, our call in podcast is something you never asked for, but is surprisingly satisfying!

Kara and I recently saw fellow podcaster Marc Maron when he performed in Madison this weekend. I shook his hand and got a free sticker (!!!). I didn't ask him if he listened to the Report, but the look in his eyes said it all: "Keep up the good work! One day you will be the number one comedy podcast on iTunes!" I already knew that, but it was nice of him to communicate non-verbally anyway.

The Best (and Worst) of 2010

2/21/11

The second most atrociously named artist of 2010

After almost two months of deliberation, we've finally come up with our favorite things of last year! Of course, it's been long enough that you probably already feel a wave of nostalgia for 2010, or as I like to call it, The Year of the Bieber.

*UPDATE* 2/22/11 Bieber cut his hair today! He still looks stupid, but this does put him in the running for best celeb of 2011. Now all he has to do is remain relevant for 10 months! If Katy Perry can stay in the spotlight for more than a year, I know you can too buddy!

Hey, always wanted to participate in the podcast but didn't know how? Now you're in luck! We'll take any and all questions live on Sunday March 6, 9 pm EST (that's 8 pm CST) on Skype. Our username is gwreport! This is your chance to really let us know who you are, to tell us your innermost feelings, and to have us berate you as soon as you hang up.

Movie Trivia Action and Stuff in Episode 21!

1/26/11

Yes, this episode has Surf Ninjas. You're welcome.

Once again, we're giving you the chance to play along with us! Just pause the podcast after the cast list has been given and make your own guess. Remember to hit play again when you've come up with an answer!

While The Leonard Maltin Game is not of our own invention, we certainly make it our own.

Another Musing courtesy Adam Gobeski is available!

Episode 20 and Superman II, FTW!

12/28/10

I was a big fan of all the glowering in this film.

Was Superman II a decent movie, or simply adequate? Episode 20 seeks to lay this age-old debate to rest.

Also, if you haven't visited our Musings section recently, now would be a good time. It seems Adam has been much more busy with his personal amusement than his academic progress lately. But seeing as we seem to be the benficiaries, let's not be too critical, okay?

Episode 9 is So Controversial, it Took Two Years to Release!

11/21/10

Remember October 2008? This guy does!

Well, I guess Episode 9 is more "recently recovered from my old files" than "controversial." However, it is amusing to catch a glimpse of the world before "Jersey Shore". Ah, we were so innocent back then...

Carl Paladino would NOT approve of Episode 19!

11/1/10

Surely, the greatest abomination nature has ever seen

With only 24 hours until Election Day 2010, Episode 19 couldn't have come at a better time. Do you know where do YOU stand on such controversial issues as space aliens, spam email and inter-species relationships? Clearly, you can't afford NOT to listen!

Additionally, it would be an excellent time to start following us on Twitter @GWReport. Adam and I are currently embroiled in a Legal Battle of Epic Proportion. Professional standards dicatate that we not let animosity seep into our audio recordings, so Twitter is the only way to see how it turns out!

Finally, Episode 18 Answers All Your Questions!

10/7/10

This episode justifies the existence of "Space Cowboys"

Whew, sorry to leave you on that cliffhanger! But patience is a virtue, and we here at the GW Report like to instill just a little bit of virtue in all of our listeners. Anyway, sorry to make you wait until the end of the paragraph. Here you go!

Plus, we've got some writings for you! Here, Adam recounts a most peculiar discussion overheard in the year 2007...

You can check out all of our original articles, songs etc. in the Musings section!

Episode 17 Versus the World

9/25/10

Awesome fight scenes? Check!

Hey, there you are! I've been looking everywhere. Listen, I've got this new podcast episode I need you to try out. This one is pretty good, honest. Nothing like that last one. Unless you happened to like the last one. Then I'd wager it's pretty much identical...

Minor site changes. Bonus G/W points if you can spot them! Also, our site has been visited by people from over 10 countries(!!!). That is more countries than I think both of us have been in, so word must be spreading more quickly than typhus on the Oregon Trail.

Anyway, sorry for the cliffhanger at the end. The next episode should be up in the next couple of weeks, so you won't have to wait too long...

Episode 16 for Freedom!

9/7/10

Too many cooks, as they say...

A new episode is available! In this one, we give away of some of your rights while we amass more for ourselves. Fair? Not really. Entertaining? Almost certainly!

We've already had one visitor to the website from China! Greetings, friend! Even if you don't speak English, that's OK. The banner at the top of the screen has made it worth that long journey, I'm sure.

Adam has pointed out that it may just have been someone "bouncing a signal off China using a proxy." I'm not quite sure what that means, but I think it's just his way of saying, "Hello, and welcome to our website!"

September Site Launch!

8/25/10

And we are up and running! Yes, it's been quite the crazy ride these past few years, but we've finally managed to produce our own gen-u-ine website. And why not? Certainly, we not may individually warrant our own "WWW" domain, but as a team? Was there any doubt in your mind?

If there was, we can't be friends anymore. Sorry!

You'll find a link to our old podcasts somewhere in that menu thingy, as well as any new ones we churn out. You'll soon see some other things show up too, like maybe a bio-page, assorting ramblings of the Wallacine or Gobeskian nature, and perhaps someday some flashy advertisements to make you question our motives.

Already subscribed? No need to fear, your feed should be redirected automatically! Not subscribed? Search for us in the iTunes store or put the link:

http://www.gobeskiwallacereport.com/Podcast/Podcast.rss

into your podcast downloading program. What are you waiting for?!