We Customize Our Nether Regions in Episode 252!

9/25/2023

Paul, playing Baldur's Gate 3

We talk a bit more about the endless possibilities of Baldur's Gate 3 in episode 252, including the chance that you may accidentally have sex with a clown.

Wait, the Lions...won? After only one game it's officially not the worst season the Lions have ever had!

Is the One Chip Challenge poison? Maybe! In any case, we will not be participating on the podcast.

Gosh, this Mr. Beast fellow can't catch a break, can he? Guess it goes to show that personal branding never, ever pays off!

In lieu of a more in-depth review from Paul, we guess you'll have to read this corporate food-speak article about the Gopuff Mean Tomato pizza.

We Dig in the Dirt in Episode 251!

9/11/2023

Stunt to sell a party game, or Paul's front yard?

While we seem to scrape the bottom of the barrel for topics in episode 251, it all comes together, as usual. You should know that we also talked about fraud, probable assassinations and dessert experimentation... and that's the stuff that got cut!

Man, people in the past sure were dumb and had no idea what was safe, especially for children! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go set up a TikTok account for my toddler so she can actually make money as an influencer in the coming social media hellscape of the future.

Much like its internet presence, The Holiday Hole disappeared as soon as it arrived.

Pepsi Colachup was briefly available to our Arizona and Michigan contingents. If you missed out, too bad! You can always mix the ingredients yourself at home, which we assume works out perfectly every time.

We Share Lifehacks for Graceful Aging in Episode 250!

8/28/2023

Best not to fake your death in case your family agrees for your funeral to be on Coffin Flop!

Charlie's topics inspire a record-low level of enthusiasm from Adam in episode 250. Perhaps because we didn't realize that it actually WAS a milestone episode before we started recording (likely), or maybe we just didn't want to set the bar too high for the next two-hundred fifty (also likely). In any case, this is what you get and don't forget that it's free!

Much like Alfred Nobel, you need to make some plans in case of your unexpected demise. Just what kind of legacy do you want to leave? We've got 250 podcast episodes, so we're set, but you really have your work cut out for you.

We're not going to make light of Hurricane Hilary, but as a follow up to the episode, you should know that, according to Adam, "it was cloudy, kind of windy, and it rained a little bit -- enough that I had to wash my car because it turned all the dust on it into mud and I couldn't see through the windows very well. But that's about it here [in Phoenix]".

We Throw in Pyrokinesis for Good Measure in Episode 249!

8/14/2023

Now I'm going to give you TWO choices here...

This week in episode 249, we continue the Sci-Fi Shuffle with the 1981 film Scanners! You can also read a Mental Floss article "10 Mind Blowing Facts About Scanners" (har har). Or you can read the Criterion essay. Or both we guess? Use your own time however you want.

Of course the two highlights of the entirety of the Star Trek universe are David Cronenberg's role in Star Trek: Discovery and the recent musical episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. And by sheer coincidence, we mentioned both in the episode this week!

We cut a brief aside in the episode where we sit and watch a YouTube clip of a face melting in Doctor Who. You don't have to listen to us watch it; watch it yourself!

We Concoct Spicy Kit Kats in Episode 248!

7/31/2023

SPARKS!

We only have two sanctioned episodes for recounting birthday gifts, so Doug and Kevin have to dig deep into their memory banks in episode 248. But as we all know from watching the Baldur's Gate 3 trailer, other things aren't so easy to forget.

Yes, Sparks played Milwaukee at least once, though possibly more? If only there were podcasts in 1983 to create a permanent record!

Mr. Beast's existence poses the question: Is it still altruism if you do it for likes? The answer is no. But in this imperfect universe, we'll take what we can get! And Adam's existence poses an entirely different question: what did this man just purchase at Best Buy that is too embarrassing to tell his friends about? And is it possible Mr. Beast and Adam are in fact the same person???????

Incontrovertible evidence?

We Debate Meat Plants in Episode 247!

7/17/2023

Why do you keep asking me to talk about your mother? Isn't this meat plant lecture entertaining enough?

More space stories coming at you in the 5th installment of our Sci-Fi Shuffle Series (we're shortening it to SFS soon, so deal with it!) as we talk about Prospect. It's got Pedro Pascal, back when he was only moderately famous! And one of the Duplass brothers (you know the one)! And guns that wind up, which is really cool except when you have to reload.

In case any of you want to be more learned than Doug, you can read up on Brandon Sanderson and The Stormlight Archive, as well as Roger Zelazny.

We Remember Live Music in Episode 246!

7/3/2023

Laura Doherty had better get out here soon! It's almost my four-year-old's bedtime!

We take a break from movies to get back to our REAL passion in episode 246: namely, discussing hyper-specific events from our past! This time around we talk about live concerts! What was the best concert we went to? What was the worst? And how is the answer to both questions for Charlie somehow the same Simon & Garfunkel show?

If you'd like to take a walk down your own personal concert memory lane, Concert Archives has you covered! There's also The Concert Database, if you're looking for a very specific Michigan-only website. Which, if you're on this website, is probably more likely than not.

Charlie mentioned Laura Doherty, so here's her official website! Charlie had a great time, so you should check her out!

We didn't just discuss concerts in this episode, though. Some other topics included McDonald's shameless vandalism of Grimace's page on the McDonald's wiki, which we unwittingly promoted on our last episode; the cluelessness of Secret Invasion's producer about the nature of AI "art"; and how Kanopy may not be the great deal Charlie has always thought it was.

And finally, here's some context for the tag: the story behind the design of that ITYSL egg game, and a fan-made version of the game you can play. (Please do note that both of those links are probably NSFW, unless your workplace also lets you look at a little porn at work.)

We Ponder The Grimace in Episode 245!

6/19/2023

In a way, I guess he's SAVING us from diabetes. Thank you, strange purple blob!

Another year, another Joe Piscopo Day! In honor of it, why not read the Wikipedia entry for Johnny Dangerously? We guess you could also watch the movie, but we know you are a very busy person.

Sure, you could get all your Grimace facts from the straight-laced folks at the McDonald's wiki, but for all your wildly speculative news, why not try GrimaceFans? (As we mention in the podcast, the site homepage doesn't seem to work properly, so we've linked to the Grimace timeline section).

Treat Williams's presence on the screen and in life will be missed. Jay Johnston's presence will probably not be missed as much.

We Watch a Very Nice Sony Bravia TV in Episode 244!

6/5/2023

I hate sound! But also I make lots of sound! And my girlfriend makes a lot of sound! Also, church bells!!!

Now that all the movies in the MCU are generally mid-to-high rated, it's nice to have a movie like Venom: Let There Be Carnage to head toward the bottom of our Merry Marvel Movie March scoring. It's not really a surprise that we were ambivalent about the sequel to a movie we were also ambivalent about, but sometimes you just need a "dumb guy" movie. Except Doug didn't like it either! Oh well, there's always Venom 3 to bring the franchise back to its roots!

We're guessing this is why 1973 is the birth of hip-hop (although it sounds like that date is actually up for debate).

Yes, the Lethal Protector is a thing that was specifically being referenced, as you probably suspected.

Wouldn't it be nice to be a famous enough actor that your costume department had to get special permission to create a jacket because you think a character from a completely unrelated movie was "so cool"?

Luckily, while incarcerated in a secret facility, Shriek not only had access to all Cletus Cassidy-related media, but had special permission to view this Ford Mustang website. So now you know!

Charlie was supposed to do a deep-dive about the relative level of phenethylamine in chocolate and human brains, but after about 15 minutes of looking at scientific papers realized this seemed a lot like what he does at work. Suffice it to say, the stuff is found in brains but is also a byproduct of fermentation. So Venom might try cheese, natto, yogurt, all that stuff before he insists on beheading anyone else. But who are we to yuck someone else's yum?

We Don't Ask About the Tables in Episode 243!

5/22/2023

Eddie Munster strikes again

Episode 243 is kind of a weird melange of topics (or Topix, if you will). It's pretty hard to describe. Overall, it's like the "special sauce" in Doug's potato chips: basically Thousand Island dressing with a smattering of I Think You Should Leave references.

The Techno Viking meme is 17 years old, but gotta say, it still holds up.

Go see Adam in the Great American Trailer Park Musical at Fountain Hills Theater in Fountain Hills, Arizona, this weekend or the next! Eagle-eyed attendees may be able to spot Tony Huff in the audience!

Spoilers for The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom in this article! You're better off reading about the 90s graphic adventures that were part of the Gobliiins series.

We Dream of the Bean in Episode 242!

5/8/2023

Another explosion, another 8 minutes of "Minions: The Rise of Gru"

We've got a brand new Sci-Fi Shuffle discussion: this week we're discussing the 2011 movie Source Code. We've even got special guest Dan Hess back to talk about his favorite time loop movies. Apologies that his voice comes across as robotic for a few minutes - that's Charlie's connection wreaking havoc on the audio quality yet again!

Dan urges you to check out Brandon at Random Reviews and we do as well!

Even after the apocalypse of Death Stranding, there is still no escaping corporate branding. And also, Kabuki Quantum Fighter and Beneath a Steel Sky links so you understand all of our video game references (sorry Jessie!).

The movie has many cinematic inspirations, but also some real life ones involving amateur tinkering with radioactive materials!

We Trust the Process in Episode 241!

4/24/2023

No, don't waste film on THIS!

It's been more than 100 episodes, but we finally managed to secure Q Jackson as a guest again for episode 241. Well, "secure" may not be the right word, as he may not even be on a physical plane at the moment. And he certainly isn't safe. But he's communicating vaguely about his confusing life and that's really all you can ask!

What's that? You have no memory of actor Q Jackson? I guess that may not be that surprising, given the level of cinema his works aspire to. But if you did want to check out our last interview with him, you can find that here - just be warned that something like 275 more Wolfsmarine "films" have been released since then.

We Decide Not to Anticipate the Future in Episode 240!

4/10/2023

Good luck with those squirrels, I'm just gonna submerge myself in this smelter

We always knew Charlie could bring about plagues, but things are getting a bit ridiculous in episode 240. Disease and vermin: check. No frogs or blood yet, but we'll see what happens when he plans another Arizona trip next year.

Lot of video game links this week. New ratings on the NES Ratings Page, including some comments from Celeste Wallace! In a surprising update, Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular is still not good! And speaking of video game updates, that Monolith puzzle from Fez is... still not really explained. And to clarify (and to confirm Paul's memory), Dark Forces did get a Mac release.

In case you didn't know what Paul was talking about, here's T'ird!

We do mention a text from Doug during the episode. You may have guessed its nature from context, but on this show we are nothing if not explicit!

Disgusting yet relatable

We're Friends with a Secret Martial Arts Expert in Episode 239!

3/27/2023

Bus fights are the best fights

We finish up Merry Marvel Movie March Madness this year with a movie we all really enjoyed - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. It has still never gotten a proper release in China, and the release in the States induced a bit more COVID-related anxiety than we'd have liked. But you can view it at home now, so no more excuses!

So is Simu Liu awesome, just "okay", or a goblin who should hide in a deep cave for all eternity? Opinions abound!

Paul will be happy to know that according to this Wikipedia article, Hundun appears in the Warriors Orochi video game series as a boss and a playable character. We're sure Jessie must already know this, since she has exhaustively played all of them.

Sir Ian McKellan knows about acting, and has been very vocal about how it is to be done. It should be noted that his advice has changed over the years.

We Fall for a Long Time in Episode 238!

3/13/2023

Death from a long fall? Not a chance!

Welcome back to Merry Marvel Movie March Madness! You only get two episodes in a row this year, but we do kick off Phase 4 of the MCU with an episode about Black Widow.

Here's an article with some pictures of Black Widow's comic look through the years. And here's the Wikipedia article about the comic version of Taskmaster!

Adam mentions in the podcast that Disney announced a less packed schedule for the MCU coming up; here's the source on that. And in case you want to know what movies precisely ended up on Disney+ Premier Access back in the dark days of the pandemic, TechRadar has you covered.

Even though the lawsuit brought by Scarlett Johansson was compelling in a car-wreck sort of way, we now have the benefit of hindsight to know it was what we suspected all along - PR posturing for leverage in an eventual settlement.

And because Charlie mentioned it in the podcast, and we'll never pass up an opportunity to reuse this gif:

We Wear Some Really Cool Outfits in Episode 237!

2/27/2023

Check out my new smart watch, tiny pet!

Our Sci-Fi Shuffle series gets a little weird when we talk about Fantastic Planet. But sci-fi is often weird! We mean, it's not always NIGHTMARE-INDUCING, Cronenberg weird like this is. Well, except when it's actually Cronenberg. But we digress.

Kevin mentioned an illustrated fairy tale video called "The Fool and the Flying Ship", which you can actually watch on the Internet Archive! It's narrated by Robin Williams, so check it out! And here's some info on that anime short film Paul mentioned. It sounds as weird as promised!

Would YOU like to read an essay from a film historian that might deepen your appreciation for this movie? Well then Criterion has you covered!

And we regret to inform you that composer Alain Goraguer has passed away since the recording of this episode.

We May Have Had an AI Generate Our Topics in Episode 236!

2/13/2023

Exactly the sort of thing an AI would predict we need right now

In previous episodes we dabbled in AI-based art, but we really get into the heart of the matter in episode 236. Of course, the real Turing test for a podcast-generating AI would be to see if it knew to put up the blog post 1-2 days late to imitate Charlie. If it's on time, you know the show has been taken over by machines!

ChatGPT received a "mediocre" score on that law exam. Next up: seeing if it can land a job in a terrible market for law grads, or if it will be crushed under the weight of crippling debt (we're hoping for the latter)!

CNET has found that writing retractions is still cheaper than paying a human to write.

The WotC Dungeons & Dragons OGL debacle was over almost as soon as it started. And smaller businesses reap the rewards! What's not to love?

Yes, we watched The Simpsons obsessively, and no reference can sneak by us.

Here's the NYT article about Ke Huy Quan that Adam references in the podcast. And go see Everything Everywhere All at Once in theaters, while you still can!

The Big New Yorker is back! Can it possibly live up to our childhood sensory memories? We're almost scared to try it, for fear of being disappointed. But you know who isn't afraid? Paul Wilcox! Much like a kaiju ravaging the East Coast, he's probably eaten several Big New Yorkers by now and there are no signs of his rampage dissipating!

We Lose All Sense of Linear Time in Episode 235!

1/30/2023

Not to be confused with "Hugh Mann"

Installment 2 of our Sci-Fi Shuffle has us hugging our loved ones in between bouts of intense philosophizing with a discussion of the 2016 film Arrival.

Here are a couple links regarding the Sanskrit word for war, in case you wanted to dive deeper into that topic. And although we're reliably told her Mandarin pronunciation isn't really up to par, you can at least learn just what Louise actually said to General Shang.

As you may remember from the previous Sci-Fi Shuffle episode, Adam had a running bit where he commented that our sister podcast, Cinematic Respect, was no longer accessible on the internet. He tried to continue that joke here, but Charlie thwarted him by actually fixing the website. So let's all celebrate by listening to an episode about another Denis Villeneuve SF film, 2017's Blade Runner 2049.

It's once again time for "Philosophy Corner"! Please do the required reading on causal loops, eternal recurrence/return, and the Aboriginal concept of time.

Kevin mentions Dr. Manhattan without providing context, but that's what this blog is for! In case you don't know, Dr. Manhattan is a character from the seminal comic book "Watchmen"; here's a Reddit thread briefly explaining how he perceives time.

And we didn't learn about this until after we recorded the episode, but if you've ever complained about the super dark scenes in Game of Thrones, it seems you have Arrival to thank for that.

Doug Eats Things that Only Sound Like Food in Episode 234!

1/16/2023

Humanity strives to make the inedible edible once again

We talked a lot about urinal cakes in episode 234, but most of it got cut. And yet there's so much we still left in! Mostly we recounted Christmas gifts and ran taste tests though. 'Tis the season!

And those cake links, for the curious.

Paul references the New Year's resolution game from "Triple Click" as a way to potentially get us to punish each other with our idiosyncratic tastes. But we didn't bite! Only passive-aggressive suggestions for these guys!

It's unlikely Salt Bae was punished for his unauthorized access to the World Cup. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. Better yet, don't ask for either!

Here's the links to borderline intuitive bacon-infused vodka, Lay's limited edition vodka, and what I like to call "The REAL Prisoner's Dilemma".

We Travel Beyond the Infinite in Episode 233!

1/2/2023

Nothing humans love more than classical art and floor-inset lighting, right?

A new year means it's time for a new conceit: episode 233 is the first in our series "Sci-Fi Shuffle", beginning with a special double-length episode all about 2001: A Space Odyssey. Because who doesn't love more movies? But we take a more holistic approach than our Merry Marvel Movie March. There's just two rules: it has to be sci-fi, and the next person chooses whatever sci-fi movie they want! So we'll do the best, and presumably the worst, movies you could hope for. Stay tuned, whenever our episode schedule permits!

Read the most recent Sight and Sound poll for context on this episode, and all those Jeanne Dielman references from previous episodes.

While we couldn't remember the exact details of the 2001 re-release, we can certainly post about it here.

If you'd care to read the original "Sentinel of Eternity" that 2001 is loosely based on, the Internet archive has you covered.

Unmanned pre-Apollo US lunar missions include: the Ranger program, the Lunar Orbiter program, and the Surveyor program.

And finally, Merzbow, Paul's favorite noise maker.

Santa is Duped Again in Episode 232!

12/19/2022

New Year's Resolution: No more AI generated images as the blog image

Strange things are afoot at the North Pole in episode 232. Don't ask us how we acquired this audio; we never reveal our sources! But in the fight between immortals and billionaires, it's hard to really root for either side. To quote the Who (like we do every Christmas): "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss".

And we are happy to announce Phase V (5) of the GW Report (Christmas Edition), featuring the following films:

• San-two Claus is Coming to Town
• Rude Elf the Red-Faced Reindeer
• Wolfsmarine Saves Christmas
• San-two v. Santuna: Dawn of Christmas
• The Santuna Clause
• Spirited Away

We Get Catfished by Food Network Stars in Episode 231!

12/5/2022

I said HOLD the eyeballs!

It's the holidays again, and that gives us an idea: let's scam Kohl's in episode 231! Sure, the return policies are byzantine to say the least, but soon we'll be Kohl's Cash Kings! Just be prepared to stand in the customer service line for eons.

I want (an oral history of the Mary Kate and Ashley song about) pizza! But why don't you slow that song down for us, Internet?.

Correction to the podcast: The actor Kier Dullea's last name is pronounced du-LEI ([dʊ.'leɪ], if you're an IPA fan). We regret the error, and apologize profusely.

We Go Way Too Deep Into the Munizverse in Episode 230!

11/21/2022

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Our favorite Frankie is just as surprised as us that he wound up on episode 230. We guess it's just our shared history that makes him feel obligated to appear on our show, despite becoming the world's most eccentric billionaire/villain/oil baron. And we don't take the label "most eccentric billionaire" lightly, especially not these days!

You might have originally been thinking Frankie was referring to the teletransportation paradox, but he wasn't! He probably meant The Transporter Paradox, whereby Jason Statham transports humans between destinations so quickly, they appear to arrive at their destination BEFORE they even left! Maybe we'll have to ask Mr. Statham himself about it on a future episode? We're sure Frankie can connect us!

You understood our World on a Wire reference because of course you have listened to every single one of our episodes, including episode 173.

We Lift Our Way Out of Trouble in Episode 229!

11/7/2022

An unstoppable horny force meets an immovable randy object

The Merry Marvel Movie March is back, baby... with a movie we initially decided to skip! That's right, it's time for that appendix to the March that we always threatened you with, and we kick it off with 1985's Red Sonja. But don't worry, it's right back to the regular MMMM for the next installment, so you'll have perhaps YEARS to wait for the next Appendix entry!

No, Kevin was not crazy: that character was pretty amped up about swordfighting.

Cinco has a MIDI Organizer, and a B'ougar, products that are almost as in-demand as cheese liqueur.

We Taste Everything in Episode 228!

10/24/2022

Who knows how deep the chip hole goes?

Despite the title and description of episode 228, this is primarily an episode where we do taste tests. So why do we talk so much about churros, and yet we've never eaten a churro on the podcast? Dare we consider a segment called "Churro with Charlie"? It's too well named to not exist!

Now you too can learn about Dewitt's best-loved tortilla-based school lunch item!

And behold: (mostly AI-generated) Churro Art!

We Get Jacked For Real in Episode 227!

10/10/2022

I've got one word for you... snowjob!

All of our mitigating forces (a.k.a guests) are absent in episode 227. Of course that means that the podcast format has completely changed. We're rebranding as Frasier vs Frasier, a podcast comparing episodes of the classic TV sitcom Frasier against the new reboot, specifically through the lens of Kelsey Grammar's dubious political views. (We're assuming this was Tony's "monkey's paw" wish.)

Wow, "Gobob vs Snowjob" was over 11 years ago! Now that's a callback!

Since the days of the TV show Lost, J.J. Abrams has been well known for his surprising, yet baffling reveals. Here's his most recent!

Even Charlie is beginning to regret his adoption of streaming over physical media after the most recent apocalyptic event in entertainment. Oh well, movies and TV were great while they lasted, but 100+ years was a pretty good run!

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