We Try Fufy Soup in Episode 271!

6/17/2024

Hard to open, but worth the effort!

Hard to open, but worth the effort!

This may be the last time you see us reference Joe Piscopo, and here only to say that we will not be celebrating his birthday anymore. He knows what he did! Since you can only go FORWARDS, we needed to create something even more spectacular to celebrate June birthdays. Behold: Campbellushi Day!

Bruce Campbell does a Stephen Colbert impression.

Jim Belushi hits Stephen Colbert in the ear.

Look, the AI art stuff is really funny to see and really hard to cut from the podcast when Kevin won't stop sending it to us. And at least it was on topic this time!

The future is now

The future is now

We Joke About Beheadings in Episode 270!

6/3/2024

The beheading bit is definitely part of his tight five set

The beheading bit is definitely part of his tight five set

We're back from a mysterious absence with a new installment in our Merry Marvel Movie March with a review of the 2022 film Thor: Love and Thunder. What caused the time gap? Well, we will say that it's partly due to the cruel vengeance of nature, and partly (mostly) due to Charlie. But he sings some songs in this episode, so all is forgiven... right...?

LOTS of comic references in the show this week, and they are as follows: Knull,Eternity, One Above All and Heroes Reborn.

As we mention in the show, even Chris Hemsworth has regrets about the tone of the movie. And it's not clear whether Chris Hemsworth was actually skipping leg day for this role, but it turns out you can give people crap regardless!

If you too would like to be arm-deep in space spiders, may we suggest Deep Rock Galactic?

We Let You Know What We Think in Episode 268!

5/6/2024

Technically edible when congealed and passes muster at TSA!

Technically edible when congealed and passes muster at TSA!

If you're like most of us and have pored over The Tortured Poets Department, listen to our impromptu review in episode 268. If you are a non-Swiftie like Kevin and Charlie, maybe re-evaluate your life choices!

The original Fallout games were full of dark humor, but not all of it made the final cut.

We can't really find the Calico Cut Pants sketch from I Think You Should Leave in an easily accessible form. Maybe you should just go on Netflix and watch the whole series again to find it? That's what we did!

Can't get enough of Paul's Metamucil story? It's also in episode 65!

We Hang Out in Space in Episode 267!

4/22/2024

Come on, you can do it! Only 20 more minutes of this!

Come on, you can do it! Only 20 more minutes of this!

We've got more Sci-Fi Shuffle this week, and Doug has chosen the decidedly not-2010's film Dark Star. If you haven't watched the movie yet, make sure to prepare for the segment on our show called "Which Parts of This Movie Were Added to Artificially Pad Its Runtime?"

It's worth noting that even before Dark Star, John Carpenter was already involved with the Academy Award-winning short film The Resurrection of Broncho Billy, which you can watch here.

Even though no one seems to know the Doctor Strange comic that appears in Dark Star, IMDb did identify the DC romance book!

Here's the credit sequence from the movie, mainly so you can listen to "Benson, Arizona". If it were in the Merry Marvel Movie March it would definitely have a chance of placing high up in the Merry Marvel Movie March Song-Off!

Physicians Put Us on Blast in Episode 266!

4/8/2024

Let's just save ourselves both the embarrassment and skip the scale today

Let's just save ourselves both the embarrassment and skip the scale today

In episode 266 we ask, "What's the point of treating a medical condition without a healthy dose of judgment?" As a follow-up, suffice it to say that we haven't needed to avenge anyone's death...yet.

Depending on your nerd strengths, you can try Cinematrix or Tradle. Or use them to reduce your nerd weaknesses!

We End the Madness in Episode 265!

3/26/2024

We know this shield we're making will repel Charlie, but maybe not the Scarlet Witch

We know this shield we're making will repel Charlie, but maybe not the Scarlet Witch

Merry Marvel Movie March Madness ends appropriately this year: with the 2022 mind-bending Sam Raimi film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness! But I guess we only really deal with two other universes? Since we don't spend nearly enough time in the Splatooniverse. But really, who would want to go to those alternate realities, especially when we could have one-eyed Sam Raimi monsters and zombies?

Not a lot of stuff to say this time around that we don't already mention in the episode, other than that the comic backstory of Wanda and Vision's kids is far weirder than the podcast might lead you to believe.

We Morb All Over Everyone in Episode 264!

3/11/2024

Press A to ride invisible wind currents

Press A to ride invisible wind currents

Though it seems a logical place to stop, we will be doing further episodes of our Merry Marvel Movie March after this week's episode on the universally critically-acclaimed film Morbius. It's all downhill from here, people!

Charlie didn't recognize a reference to a movie he has definitely seen and RECORDED A PODCAST EPISODE ABOUT.

Though Paul tries valiantly, there is really no substitute for "Know Your Meme" when explaining "It's Morbin' Time".

As Adam explains the back-history of Morbius in the podcast, he references The Seduction of the Innocent as well as an urban legend regarding Marv Wolfman.

Also, the historical letter reenactment that Adam mentioned!

We Harvest Space Lobsters from the Air in Episode 263!

2/26/2024

Leading your movie with dog murder: a bold choice!

Leading your movie with dog murder: a bold choice!

Since we're about to launch into Merry Marvel Movie March Madness, we thought we'd first knock off another movie in our Sci-Fi Shuffle series - 1959's Teenagers From Outer Space! Thanks to Kevin Vredevoogd, who at least gave us the illusion of choice on this one. May he mercifully be vaporized into a skeleton before the Gargans devour him!

Here's the "14 beers at Chili's" meme, as required by law.

You can hear us talk about the movie Solaris on Cinematic Respect, and it shares one thing in common with Teenagers from Outer Space - gratuitous driving sequences! And also space, we guess.

Bronson Canyon is a very common place to film, especially in the sci-fi genre. We doubt it will be the last time we see it in our Shuffle!

The bones are their money.

We Manhandle Puppets in Episode 262!

2/11/2024

He will NOT be hosting trivia next week

He will NOT be hosting trivia next week

Hey, it's all Tony Huff in episode 262, and he has HAD ENOUGH! Particularly, he will not tolerate you sticking your gyat out for the Rizzler. You've been warned!

Here you can see one of this generation's biggest misanthropes attacking a beloved children's character. Although, is it really misanthropy if you attack a puppet? Does that make it mismarionety? There goes Larry David again, making us ask the important questions!

And yet Patrick Stewart throws a beloved children's character and no outrage? What has the world come to?

Kevin Vredevoogd: sneaking right past the mods in every corner of the internet.

Also, as far as we know, the Vredevoogd clan has never participated in cannibalism.

OK, so it's NOT an animated movie about anthropomorphic Pop-Tarts. Our enthusiasm level stays at "neutral".

And this is unrelated, but Adam wanted to post it anyway. He's a co-host, so he won't be denied!

We Eventually Deliver Some Mashrooms in Episode 261!

1/29/2024

Another day, another Tree of Life incinerated

Another day, another Tree of Life incinerated

Paul spins the Sci-Fi Shuffle wheel and lands on the 2021 stop-motion film Junk Head, so we all start by wondering just what exactly we watched for episode 261. To be fair, we actually all seemed to like it, even those of us who typically are creeped out by this sort of thing! Maybe we'll all talk about Junk World after it comes out in 2025.

In another parallel universe, Paul might have made us watch Voices of a Distant Star – and who knows, he still might!

We Set Our Sights Low in Episode 260!

1/15/2024

Can you spot the difference?

Can you spot the difference?

Despite the Gods of Heating and Home Maintenance conspiring against us, we managed to record episode 260, in which we take part in the Recounting of the Gifts. The hauls were good, as usual, even though none of us got the smutty e-books we were promised. Oh well, there's always next year!

The We Have Food At Home meme, so folks like Charlie can understand.

Paul was not talking about the Jim Jarmusch film Stranger Than Paradise.

If y'all were wondering what the improvements are in the Babylon 5 remaster, read on.

We Revel in Nostalgia in Episode 259!

1/1/2024

I showed up, I said the thing. Can I go home now?

I showed up, I said the thing. Can I go home now?

Is there any such thing as too much Spider-Man? The 2021 movie Spider-Man: No Way Home posits that of course there isn't! And our Merry Marvel Movie March agrees (for the most part). We may find the limits of our tolerance in 2024, as Adam has pointed out that there will be THREE Spider-Man-adjacent movies released... but none contain Spider-Man? An unusual year, to be sure!

Charlie makes reference to a meme about Gen Z not knowing who Willem Dafoe is, but when he tried to find it again to link to in the blog he couldn't. Does that mean he made it up in his head? Or, perhaps more likely, is Gen Z so embarrassed that they made sure to erase all traces of it from the internet? Watch out for our stunning expose on this story, sometime later maybe!!!

We Learn No Holiday Lessons in Episode 398!

12/25/2023

Nah, it's the clown ghosts you've got to worry about

Nah, it's the clown ghosts you've got to worry about

[Editor's note: Since capitalist society puts "creating content" on a lower value rung than "stimulating the economy", the GW Report will not have an episode this week. However, we did happen upon a series of spooky cassette tapes at a garage sale that appear to be an episode of another podcast that, to our knowledge, was never released. Contemporaneous news reports suggest the participants disappeared and haven't been seen since. We found the following note wrapped around the tapes with a rubber band; the writing was either hurried and anxious or the result of vape-induced shakes. It is impossible to tell which. CONTENT WARNING: May contain Kylers.]

OK, this is episode 398, the second one with the clown ghost blood. I only put about 10 minutes on each tape just in case I hear something on the radio I like there's still space to record. Once I put it on my iPod it should be on the internet, as I understand it. Then I'll transcribe out onto a legal pad what I'm recording right now and label the episode. Oh, also I'm the co-host now. Yeah, I'll take three cartridges of the Juul Grape Ape Escape. Nah, no I don't have ID. Will you take this other card then? Thanks. And also a Powerball ticket. I can't use a card for that? Huh, never mind.

Adam has a Non-Urgent Emergency in Episode 257!

12/4/2023

Keep talking amongst yourselves, this might be a while

Keep talking amongst yourselves, this might be a while

Episode 257 is not the first time we've discussed "urgency" and "emergency" in our podcast, and it certainly won't be the last. But it is the most recent, and so it's worth a listen!

If you want to explore the weirdness of Scavengers Reign completely spoiler-free, you can skip right from 10:08 to 16:54 in this episode. Adam may prefer that, since it then also makes it appear that he is in the bathroom a significantly shorter amount of time!

We Gather Great Minds in Episode 256!

11/21/2023

Like this, but pitch black

Like this, but pitch black

Rest assured that when Charlie has to gather a group of visionaries for The 1st Annual Gobeski/Wallace Report Summit, they will have some big ideas! Not GREAT ideas per se, but certainly consequential. And good news for those that live underground - your property value is about to increase exponentially! According to some, there will even be weather down there.

We reference too many news stories and absurd TV shows in this episode to be listed exhaustively, but we're always game for a prequel meme.

We Contemplate Seashells in Episode 255!

11/7/2023

Another Boomer refusing to change with the times

Another Boomer refusing to change with the times

More Sci-Fi Shuffle coming at you, and this time it's the 1993 movie Demolition Man!

Screenwriter Daniel Waters put a lot of things in this movie that seem like they're a response to COVID but really he just thought were funny 30 years ago. So Comedy + Time = Tragedy? Interesting corollary, even if the math doesn't work out!

Before the world widely knew that a combination Taco Bell/Pizza Hut was possible, localization teams imagined you could only have one OR the other. Silly humans circa 1993!

Ugh, Doug keeps mentioning it, so we feel obligated to link to the definition of "Soy Boy".

We Technically Invent a Frasier-verse Spinoff in Episode 254!

10/23/2023

Tim Daly is too cool for crossovers

Tim Daly is too cool for crossovers

Tony isn't in episode 254... well, not the Tony that you're used to! In any case, he'll be happy to know that we talk "Wings", which is technically "Frasier" adjacent. We have all your favorite "Wings" cast members this time (unless you like Thomas Haden Church, he didn't show up).

In case you've been itching to get your hands on the complete "Wings" box set on DVD, here's your chance! Even the 1-star reviews complaining about the "atrocious" transfer still agree that it's a fantastic sitcom! Also – Becker! (This link was included exclusively for the benefit of Paul Wilcox.)

In case you don't believe that the air travel incident we discuss is real, behold. Unfortunately, it may have started a trend.

We Guide Humanity Towards Its Demise in Episode 253!

10/9/2023

Don't worry - some of them will disappear and this will become manageable

Don't worry - some of them will disappear and this will become manageable

For all you Marvel fans, don't worry - we're back with another episode in our Merry Marvel Movie March. This time, we review the 2021 film Eternals! Was it as bad as reviews made it seem? You'll have to listen to find out!

In 100 years (or probably less), when movies are created entirely by AI, our descendants will probably say this sort of stuff. Why Kevin Feige is saying it now is less clear. Unless... is he also AI?

Marvel probably thought their Lizzo reference was future-proof. Joke's on them!

We Customize Our Nether Regions in Episode 252!

9/25/2023

Paul, playing Baldur's Gate 3

Paul, playing Baldur's Gate 3

We talk a bit more about the endless possibilities of Baldur's Gate 3 in episode 252, including the chance that you may accidentally have sex with a clown.

Wait, the Lions...won? After only one game it's officially not the worst season the Lions have ever had!

Is the One Chip Challenge poison? Maybe! In any case, we will not be participating on the podcast.

Gosh, this Mr. Beast fellow can't catch a break, can he? Guess it goes to show that personal branding never, ever pays off!

In lieu of a more in-depth review from Paul, we guess you'll have to read this corporate food-speak article about the Gopuff Mean Tomato pizza.

We Dig in the Dirt in Episode 251!

9/11/2023

Stunt to sell a party game, or Paul's front yard?

Stunt to sell a party game, or Paul's front yard?

While we seem to scrape the bottom of the barrel for topics in episode 251, it all comes together, as usual. You should know that we also talked about fraud, probable assassinations and dessert experimentation... and that's the stuff that got cut!

Man, people in the past sure were dumb and had no idea what was safe, especially for children! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go set up a TikTok account for my toddler so she can actually make money as an influencer in the coming social media hellscape of the future.

Much like its internet presence, The Holiday Hole disappeared as soon as it arrived.

Pepsi Colachup was briefly available to our Arizona and Michigan contingents. If you missed out, too bad! You can always mix the ingredients yourself at home, which we assume works out perfectly every time.

We Share Lifehacks for Graceful Aging in Episode 250!

8/28/2023

Best not to fake your death in case your family agrees for your funeral to be on Coffin Flop!

Best not to fake your death in case your family agrees for your funeral to be on Coffin Flop!

Charlie's topics inspire a record-low level of enthusiasm from Adam in episode 250. Perhaps because we didn't realize that it actually WAS a milestone episode before we started recording (likely), or maybe we just didn't want to set the bar too high for the next two-hundred fifty (also likely). In any case, this is what you get and don't forget that it's free!

Much like Alfred Nobel, you need to make some plans in case of your unexpected demise. Just what kind of legacy do you want to leave? We've got 250 podcast episodes, so we're set, but you really have your work cut out for you.

We're not going to make light of Hurricane Hilary, but as a follow up to the episode, you should know that, according to Adam, "it was cloudy, kind of windy, and it rained a little bit -- enough that I had to wash my car because it turned all the dust on it into mud and I couldn't see through the windows very well. But that's about it here [in Phoenix]".

We Throw in Pyrokinesis for Good Measure in Episode 249!

8/14/2023

Now I'm going to give you TWO choices here...

Now I'm going to give you TWO choices here...

This week in episode 249, we continue the Sci-Fi Shuffle with the 1981 film Scanners! You can also read a Mental Floss article "10 Mind Blowing Facts About Scanners" (har har). Or you can read the Criterion essay. Or both we guess? Use your own time however you want.

Of course the two highlights of the entirety of the Star Trek universe are David Cronenberg's role in Star Trek: Discovery and the recent musical episode of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. And by sheer coincidence, we mentioned both in the episode this week!

We cut a brief aside in the episode where we sit and watch a YouTube clip of a face melting in Doctor Who. You don't have to listen to us watch it; watch it yourself!

We Concoct Spicy Kit Kats in Episode 248!

7/31/2023

SPARKS!

SPARKS!

We only have two sanctioned episodes for recounting birthday gifts, so Doug and Kevin have to dig deep into their memory banks in episode 248. But as we all know from watching the Baldur's Gate 3 trailer, other things aren't so easy to forget.

Yes, Sparks played Milwaukee at least once, though possibly more? If only there were podcasts in 1983 to create a permanent record!

Mr. Beast's existence poses the question: Is it still altruism if you do it for likes? The answer is no. But in this imperfect universe, we'll take what we can get! And Adam's existence poses an entirely different question: what did this man just purchase at Best Buy that is too embarrassing to tell his friends about? And is it possible Mr. Beast and Adam are in fact the same person???????

Incontrovertible evidence?

Incontrovertible evidence?

We Debate Meat Plants in Episode 247!

7/17/2023

Why do you keep asking me to talk about your mother? Isn't this meat plant lecture entertaining enough?

Why do you keep asking me to talk about your mother? Isn't this meat plant lecture entertaining enough?

More space stories coming at you in the 5th installment of our Sci-Fi Shuffle Series (we're shortening it to SFS soon, so deal with it!) as we talk about Prospect. It's got Pedro Pascal, back when he was only moderately famous! And one of the Duplass brothers (you know the one)! And guns that wind up, which is really cool except when you have to reload.

In case any of you want to be more learned than Doug, you can read up on Brandon Sanderson and The Stormlight Archive, as well as Roger Zelazny.

We Remember Live Music in Episode 246!

7/3/2023

Laura Doherty had better get out here soon! It's almost my four-year-old's bedtime!

Laura Doherty had better get out here soon! It's almost my four-year-old's bedtime!

We take a break from movies to get back to our REAL passion in episode 246: namely, discussing hyper-specific events from our past! This time around we talk about live concerts! What was the best concert we went to? What was the worst? And how is the answer to both questions for Charlie somehow the same Simon & Garfunkel show?

If you'd like to take a walk down your own personal concert memory lane, Concert Archives has you covered! There's also The Concert Database, if you're looking for a very specific Michigan-only website. Which, if you're on this website, is probably more likely than not.

Charlie mentioned Laura Doherty, so here's her official website! Charlie had a great time, so you should check her out!

We didn't just discuss concerts in this episode, though. Some other topics included McDonald's shameless vandalism of Grimace's page on the McDonald's wiki, which we unwittingly promoted on our last episode; the cluelessness of Secret Invasion's producer about the nature of AI "art"; and how Kanopy may not be the great deal Charlie has always thought it was.

And finally, here's some context for the tag: the story behind the design of that ITYSL egg game, and a fan-made version of the game you can play. (Please do note that both of those links are probably NSFW, unless your workplace also lets you look at a little porn at work.)

We Ponder The Grimace in Episode 245!

6/19/2023

In a way, I guess he's SAVING us from diabetes. Thank you, strange purple blob!

In a way, I guess he's SAVING us from diabetes. Thank you, strange purple blob!

Another year, another Joe Piscopo Day! In honor of it, why not read the Wikipedia entry for Johnny Dangerously? We guess you could also watch the movie, but we know you are a very busy person.

Sure, you could get all your Grimace facts from the straight-laced folks at the McDonald's wiki, but for all your wildly speculative news, why not try GrimaceFans? (As we mention in the podcast, the site homepage doesn't seem to work properly, so we've linked to the Grimace timeline section).

Treat Williams's presence on the screen and in life will be missed. Jay Johnston's presence will probably not be missed as much.

Last updated: June 17, 2024

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